Affairs of the Heart
by Adela H
Summary: Elizabeth stumbles on her Father's secret, his health is failing him. When Mr. Collins proposes to her after the Netherfield Ball she accepts in order to save her family. But what happens when she realizes Mr. Darcy is her true love?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my new story I'm working on. I hope you guys like it. It's a bit controversial like Arranged Marriage, but I promise ODC will have a HEA, but it will take a long time, many trials, and set backs. This is going to be rated mature because it deals with marital affairs and stuff that goes on in the bedroom. I'm already about half way done but if anyone has any suggestions I'd be open to hearing them.

Thanks! Please review!

Chapter 1

Elizabeth Bennet stared at the man before her, contemplating the predicament she found herself in. Mr. Collins was not only her cousin, but the heir to Longbourn, her home, and who could, upon the death of her Father, remove herself and her Mother and sisters from the house indefinitely, a fact which Mrs. Bennet was wont to declare at least once a week. And he was kneeling before her, asking for her hand in marriage.

Mr. Collins wasn't a repulsive man, per se. He was shorter than average, and a bit wider, but there was nothing untoward in his speech or manners, other than being overly solicitous and at times pompous. He also had an irritating habit of bringing up his Patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, into every day conversation and expound on that Lady's many virtues at every opportunity.

Though none of these things in particular, or together, made him an undesirable match, especially to one in Elizabeth's circumstance, she at once wanted to refuse him. She was still quite young, and was prone to believe there was a great love somewhere out there for her, and was willing to give up potential future security for potential future felicity. Oh, how she longed for someone to make her heart palpitate in such a way that she would swoon. To hear her name pass through the lips of a lover and perhaps have him steal a kiss or two! All these things she wished and knew in her heart that Mr. Collins would never evoke from her.

She was even on the verge of rejecting him as politely as possible, when a memory came unbidden to her. It had happened shortly after Mr. Collins came to Longbourn. Her Aunt Phillips had invited the Bennet women to her house for a card party. Mr. Collins had expressed a desire to attend, to which Elizabeth used all her cunning into persuading him to not accept. To her chagrin, Mr. Collins managed to declare any respectable entertainment hosted by a gentlewoman as Mrs. Phillips would be respectable enough for him.

So, together the party from Longbourn traveled the road to Meryton. Elizabeth had been looking forward to making a better acquaintance of one Mr. Wickham who had just joined the local Militia. Though she didn't have her younger sisters' proclivity to thinking all men in uniform were undeniably handsome, and therefore earned a woman's admiration, Elizabeth had to admit that Mr. Wickham cut quite a dashing figure in his red coat. They had just entered Meryton when Mr. Collins proclaimed that he hoped he could count on his cousin Elizabeth to introduce him to all her friends and teach him the various games they were to play that night.

What horror! Elizabeth had expected to spend the evening in the pursuit of her own happiness and entertainment, but to be prevailed upon by Mr. Collins was dashing her hopes. Mrs. Bennet chose at that moment to walk beside her daughter, and give her side such a pinch.

"Ow!" Elizabeth exclaimed, stopping the group so that they all looked to her. "I must have caught a rock in my shoe." She smiled wanly, bade the company to walk ahead of her, and she would right herself and meet them at her Aunt's.

Mrs. Bennet gave her daughter such a look that Elizabeth felt dreadful. She knew her Mama was trying to promote the match between herself and Mr. Collins at every turn. This evening was sure to be a bore, what with Mr. Collins always in company, and her Mother making sure they were. She could not, nay would not do it. She decided then and there to make her way home and send a message claiming a headache. Even the thought of seeing Mr. Wickham could not alleviate her feelings on the matter.

She had just entered Longbourn's estate when the sun began to set from the sky. She contemplated her evening ahead and debated on whether she should stay up long enough to ask Jane if anything of interest had happened, or to retire early. Then as she came to the front door she saw Mr. Barrow, the Physician, exit their house.

"Good evening," Mr. Barrow tipped his hat to her, but gave no further conversation, and headed towards Meryton.

Confused, Elizabeth entered the house. The Physician was rarely called for, and only for when her Mother had one of her episodes. The Apothecary was always present for when a servant or tenant was suffering from some ailment, or needed a bone mended, but a Physician?

Cautiously she made her way through the house and to her Father's study, where she found his door slightly ajar. She peeked through and could see Mr. Bennet's bare chest. He began to don his shirt, cravat and waistcoat when she cleared her throat, and knocked.

Mr. Bennet quickly turned around, startled by the sound, then wondered at seeing Elizabeth. "What are you doing here, child?" He asked, finishing his dressing.

"I had a headache and came home," was Elizabeth's lame excuse. "Father, what was Mr. Barrow doing here?"

Mr. Bennet attempted to laugh the matter off, but Elizabeth saw through his show. She fully entered the room and all but demanded an explanation. Finally, Mr. Bennet sighed and offered the chair to his daughter.

"I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately and thought it couldn't hurt to have Mr. Barrow examine me," he explained.

"And?" Elizabeth dared to ask, anxious for the answer.

Mr. Bennet sighed again, more deeply, "I am dying."

Elizabeth's eyes widened as her hand came over her mouth to silent the cries that were surely to come. Mr. Bennet came around the desk and took his daughter in his arms to comfort her.

"There, there, my dear, I won't drop this evening." But the images that one sentence conjured sent Elizabeth into further hysterics that would have made her Mother proud.

Mr. Bennet went to his cabinet where he kept his liquor and poured his daughter a strong drink. He urged her to drink, for at first she refused, but then Mr. Bennet prevailed. She took the drink and felt it burn all the way down her throat until it rested her stomach.

Mr. Bennet then explained his symptoms to her; fatigue, chest pains, headaches and the such. Mr. Barrow gave his diagnosis and said with the proper diet and care of his body he could live up to a year longer, perhaps more. A list of foods and drinks that he was to abstain from was to be delivered on the morrow.

"Lizzy, the man says I must abstain from alcohol!" He declared, as if the world's ending had been the diagnosis, and not just his death. "Please, do not alarm your Mother and sisters. Allow me to find the right time to give them the news."

This was the memory that floated to the surface right before Elizabeth opened her mouth and said, "I accept."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, I just wanted to make it clear that the card part at the Phillips where Elizabeth first learns of Wickham's "mistreatment" by Darcy is the one she did not go to, so she has not heard that story, nor will she. Without further ado, the second chapter. Please review!

Chapter Two

Mr. Collins rose from his knee, Elizabeth's hand still in his, a look of profound astonishment and delight on his face. His mouth was moving, as if to make words, but not a sound came out. Elizabeth smiled at the affect her words had on him, but stopped herself from outright laughing. The squealing from the hall interrupted their silence.

"I do believe we should tell Mama about our news?"

"Yes, yes," Mr. Collins gushed. He straightened his clothes and walked ahead of Elizabeth to the door and opened it to find Mrs. Bennet and the two youngest girls just outside.

"Oh, you dear, dear man!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, taking him into her arms and giving his cheek a quick kiss. "Oh Lizzy! My dear come here, we have much to discuss!"

"Miss Elizabeth I must go speak with your Father." Mr. Collins brought her hand to his lips, then bade her farewell.

Mrs. Bennet led Elizabeth back into the room and instructed her to sit. "Kitty, pull the rope, we must have tea. Oh, Lizzy, you shall need new dresses, bonnets, pelisse, gloves, shoes…everything! I am sure my brother will host us in London and…"

"No," Elizabeth interrupted her Mama, "as a Rector's wife I shall have no need of such fine clothes. I am sure Mrs. Tappard can provide my trousseau."

Mrs. Bennet made to argue, but was interrupted by Mrs. Hill entering the room. Mrs. Bennet asked that tea be readied.

"Lord Lizzy," Lydia declared, "I never would have imagined you marrying Collins, what a bore he is."

"Hush, girl," Mrs. Bennet demanded, startling Lydia. Her Mother had never said a harsh word towards her in her life. "Mr. Collins is to marry your sister and you will give him the respect he deserves."

Lydia's eyes widened. Silently, she sat on the couch, attempting to figure out what it was she had said that made her Mama so angry.

"Mama," Kitty said, "does this mean when Papa dies we will not have to leave?"

Elizabeth felt her heart ache at Kitty's words. She had kept her promise to her Father and not said a word to anyone about his ill health, but from all she could gather neither had he. She wondered when he would get around to it. Perhaps once she was married the news would not be so hard to hear. Yes, Elizabeth made it a point to encourage her Father to tell their family of his diagnosis once she was married.

A few minutes later Mr. Collins entered the room and informed Elizabeth that her Father wished to speak with her. As she left the room she overheard her Mother talking to Mr. Collins about all the wedding preparations that would need to take place.

Elizabeth made her way to her Father's study and entered, closing the door behind her.

Mr. Bennet was standing before the window, looking out at the overcast sky. He turned and contemplated his daughter.

"Am I to congratulate you?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

Elizabeth felt her ire rise. "Yes, sir, you are. And thank you."

There were many things she could have said to her him; wished to say to him. Though the Bennets were but a small, country family, they were gentle born. Expectations were placed upon them, from the time of their births, especially the women. Instead of saving for the future, Mr. Bennet gambled that his wife would bear him a son who would inherit. After five daughters in succession, instead of reigning his wife's expenses in and using the money to invest in his daughters' dowries, he declared their problem a lost cause and all but washed his hands of the matter.

Yes, Mr. Bennet was directly responsible for the predicament Lizzy found herself in, but saying so would not fix anything.

"Are you in earnest?" He asked, more gently.

"Yes, Father," she replied.

Mr. Bennet gave a great sigh, "I suppose it is done then." He smiled at his favorite daughter and embraced her with all the love a Father could bestow upon a daughter.

The duo made their way into the sitting room where not only Mary and Jane were now receiving the news, but Charlotte Lucas, who had intended to call upon the Bennets after the Ball in order to talk about the dances, the food, and the dresses that had been worn.

Oh, how many times had she declared to both Jane and Charlotte how nothing but the deepest love could induce her to marry? She must seem quite the hypocrite. She dared to take a peek, first at Jane, whose expression was nothing but pleasant surprise, while Charlotte looked questioningly at her.

"Congratulations, Lizzy," Charlotte smiled, "and to you too, Mr. Collins."

"I thank you, most profusely, for your congratulations, Miss Lucas," Mr. Collins began, "my cousin Elizabeth has made me the happiest of men! My esteemed Patroness, Lady Catherine, would be pleased. As a matter of fact, if you would excuse me I must write to her directly."

Once again Mr. Collins took Elizabeth's hand to his mouth to receive his kiss, then left the room.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mrs. Bennet effused. "Lizzy shall be Mistress of Longbourn and dear Jane shall one day be Mistress of Netherfield."

Jane made a small sound, but gave no heed to her Mother's words. Elizabeth had secretly hoped that once her engagement to Mr. Collins was made known that her Mama would try a little less to procure husbands for her daughters, especially Mr. Bingley for Jane. Now that the future of the family was secure, it shouldn't matter much who the other girls marry.

s-S-s

The dinner that evening was a joyous affair for the Bennet family. Mrs. Bennet had changed the menu to reflect Mr. Collins' preferences. He praised the meal and thanked Mrs. Bennet whole heartedly for thinking of him. Throughout the meal Mr. Collins would often look towards Elizabeth, and smile so widely that his eyes sparkled in the candle light. Elizabeth would smile back and inwardly try to keep herself from rushing from the room.

When the family retired to the drawing room Mrs. Bennet spent a full twenty minutes describing how the wedding should be, what was to be served, etc… Collins agreed with her in every instance, neither conferring with Elizabeth about her ideas. Frankly, Elizabeth didn't much care. From the moment the words "I accept" left her lips she had wanted to recall them. Images of her Father and their conference together was the only thing preventing her.

She was thankful she had not fallen in love up to that point. Even if she had loved someone completely inappropriate, say the butcher's son, or one of the tenant farmers, heaven forbid. She could honestly say her heart had not been claimed by another, and was therefore free to give to whomever she wished. But the thought of her heart in the hands of Mr. Collins unnerved her. Perhaps she would merely keep her heart locked away, away from any man, saving it for herself.

That night as she and Jane retired for the evening she caught Jane staring at her from where she sat before the mirror.

"Jane," Elizabeth laughed, "I am still Lizzy, your sister. Please, if there is something you wish to say, out with it."

Jane bit her bottom lip, "Lizzy, are you sure this is something you want to do?"

Elizabeth stood behind her sister and picked up the brush that was on the dresser top. She began to comb through the long, blonde tresses. "Jane, I am sure this is something I not only want to do, but need to do. One day you will understand."

"Lizzy, if you think marrying Mr. Collins will magically secure all our happiness and future, you are mistaken. I could not live with myself knowing you had sacrificed yourself for me. Even if I were to marry…someone I loved."

Elizabeth smiled at her dear sister. If only she could tell Jane about their Father, she would understand. She had even noted their Papa abstain from wine throughout the meal, and stick strictly to table beer. He was doing his best for their futures, she could do likewise.

"Do you not think Mr. Collins worthy of me?" Elizabeth asked, laughing. How she hated maudlin topics, so she decided to turn it into a jest.

"Mr. Collins is a respectable man," Jane confessed, "and I'm sure has some wonderful qualities that some women find attractive…"

"But not me?" Elizabeth began to braid Jane's hair, then secured it at the end.

"Your character would do better with someone more like Mr. Wickham, someone lively and vibrant."

"Oh Jane, if only we could live in a world with no entail, and women were not dependent on men for their comfort. I admit I do not love Mr. Collins in the way I often professed I would were I to marry. But I must make do with what I have."

Jane looked as if she wanted to argue the matter further, but refrained, for which Elizabeth was grateful. She needed Jane as an ally, someone to help her through the next few weeks, for surely Mr. Collins had made it abundantly clear he wished to marry as soon as possible. The wedding date was tentatively set for early January. Mr. Collins would return to Hunsford in between to take up his clerical duties, then return to Longbourn for the wedding.

Jane and Elizabeth slipped quietly into bed, both lost in their own thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Alright, kids have started school, I only have one at home now and hopefully I'll be able to write more and get this story finished soon. Just wrote the chapter where Darcy makes his move, though it's not til chapter 13...sorry guys!

Just to reiterate, this story involves extra-marital affairs and bedroom scenes. If these offend you do not read.

Chapter 3

The next day Mr. Collins was adamant that he should take up residence at the local Inn feeling it incumbent upon himself to set the example of a proper courtship. He had his luggage delivered to the Inn, but remained with the Bennet's the entire day. After the morning breakfast Mr. Collins insisted on speaking to Mr. Bennet about the wedding contract.

"I suppose it is something that needs my immediate attention," Mr. Bennet said, motioning for Collins to follow him.

While the women were in the sitting room industriously employed, Mrs. Hill entered with a letter addressed to Jane.

"It is from Caroline Bingley," she declared, then opened the letter and began to read.

Elizabeth, who had been given the task of embroidering a pillowcase by her Mother ("You need to start right away on the new things for your home.") briefly glanced up. She was about to focus on her work again, but her sisters' countenance puzzled her. Her lips moved silently as she read the contents of the letter, but her eyes seemed to brim with unshed tears, and her cheeks had gone pale.

"Does Caroline give more specifics on when her brother will return?" Mrs. Bennet asked without looking up from her own work. "He has promised us a dinner and I had hoped to get a nice joint from the butcher for his supper."

"Caroline says they are closing Netherfield up and are expected to spend the entire Season in Town. She says she does not expect to ever return." Jane's voice had lost its melodious sound and was rather dour.

Mrs. Bennet shot out of her chair, the work in her lap falling to the ground, and marched to Jane. She took the letter out of her hand and read the contents herself. "Oh how can he use you so ill?" Mrs. Bennet cried. "He is gone!"

Mrs. Bennet let the paper fall as she called out for Hill to bring her smelling salts. The house was in an uproar until Mrs. Bennet was led upstairs to her room where Mrs. Hill administered to her Mistress. Lydia and Kitty declared their purpose in going to town, and Mary, prevented by her Mother from practicing at the piano forte, offered to join them so that she might use their Aunt's instrument.

Jane preferred to stay home, and Elizabeth preferred to comfort her sister. She had taken the paper up herself and read the contents and at once understood the meaning behind the words.

"Jane, this is Caroline's way of scaring you off. You needn't worry," she tried to reassure her. "Mr. Bingley is his own man and if he truly cares for you he will return. No amount of contriving or deception on his sister's part can put him off."

Jane did not know what to think. She had felt deeply that Mr. Bingley cared for her, as much as she was beginning to care for him. How could she reconcile Mr. Bingley's attachment to her and his sisters claims that he was attached to Miss Darcy? Elizabeth had set her mind at ease on one point. The lease on Netherfield was for an entire year, and no prudent man would countenance paying for a home in the country if he had no intention of ever returning.

s-S-s

Mr. Collins, thankfully, had been ensconced in Mr. Bennet's study, and therefore was not aware of the uproar of the morning, but attended to Elizabeth that afternoon. Mrs. Bennet roused herself form her chambers declaring it her motherly duty to stand beside her daughter during this time in her life.

Over tea Mrs. Bennet began to make a list of all the things that needed to be attended to for the wedding, conferring with Mr. Collins on some subjects. She insisted on going into town the next day with Elizabeth to choose fabrics and styles for new dresses and insisted on at least one be made up in the finest fabric available.

"You shall be dining at Rosings," Mrs. Bennet reminded her, on more than one occasion.

Mr. Collins dined with them that evening and said he was very sorry to go the next day, casting Elizabeth many furtive looks. Elizabeth would take up her glass, or occupy herself with the contents of her plate whenever he would do this. It was embarrassing for her to be the subject of his awkward courting. She noted that Lydia and Kitty whispering and giggling and felt like pinching them.

When the family retired to the drawing room Mr. Collins expressed his wish to sit beside Elizabeth, and Mrs. Bennet herded the rest of the family to the other side of the room to give them a semblance of privacy.

"Elizabeth…Miss Elizabeth…you cannot know how happy you have made me," Mr. Collins had taken her hands in his and was staring at their fingers entwined.

His hands were clammy and cool and Elizabeth wished nothing more than to wipe her own on her dress, but she did not. She sat silently and listened to him rhapsodize about their eventual wedded bliss. He mentioned how happy Lady Catherine would be by her and how she would no doubt call on her when she first entered the neighborhood.

Finally Mr. Bennet arose from his seat and declared that the household should retire. Mr. Collins bade Elizabeth a good night and said how he would miss her. Elizabeth merely smiled. Once he had left the house she wiped her hands on her dress and walked past a laughing Lydia up to her room and was determined to stay there until this whole ordeal was over.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know this chapter is very small, I'll try to post another one this week after editing it. Thanks again for the reviews!

Chapter 4

As is the prerogative of all Mothers who have a daughter about to marry, Mrs. Bennet chose the fabric and style of nearly all her daughter's new dresses. Mrs. Tappard assured she could finish the order in plenty of time for the wedding and said she would send around a message when she was ready for Elizabeth's fitting. The two women thanked Mrs. Tappard, then made their way to Mrs. Phillips where the other Bennet daughters were waiting. Along the way many people congratulated Elizabeth on her upcoming marriage, Mrs. Bennet preening like a peacock at every meeting.

Mrs. Phillips welcomed Lizzy into her arms, giving both cheeks a kiss and exclaiming over her good fortune. She felt it incumbent upon herself to repeat every good thing she had heard Mr. Collins say of Rosings from window panes to chimney pieces. Add to that the fact that Elizabeth will one day be Mistress of Longbourn, where her mother and any unmarried sisters would always find a home.

Elizabeth could do nothing but thank her Aunt. Though she wasn't as enthusiastic of the match as everyone else seemed to be, she felt a sense of pride in doing this duty by her family. She imagined she felt the same as soldiers going into a battle would feel; a bit of fear mixed in with self satisfaction.

In due time the marriage contract was signed by all parties involved, and Mr. Collins left for Kent. With him gone, and Mr. Bingley so irretrievably far away, the Bennet household fell back into their familiar routine. When the younger girls wanted to go out to meet with the Officers in Meryton, Mrs. Bennet insisted Jane chaperone them and kept Lizzy back.

"You have barely made a dent in those pillow cases!" Mrs. Bennet would cluck her tongue at Lizzy.

Elizabeth was a fair hand at embroidery and sewing, but sitting still at long periods of time set her restless. She would be at her work for no more than ten minutes when she would feel her legs begin to itch. This was the most likely the reason she never really excelled at the piano, not for lack of talent, but lack of sitting still long enough to practice a song thoroughly.

After a few days of being cooped up in the house with her Mother hovering over her work, Mrs. Bennet declared her work satisfactory and insisted Elizabeth take a walk with her sisters. As they were leaving a note came from Mrs. Tappard that if Lizzy could come down at her earliest convenience, she could have her first fitting.

The Bennet women made their way to Meryton, Mrs. Bennet walking in the front with Jane and Elizabeth directly behind, Mary behind them, and Lydia and Kitty behind Mary. They were quite the site as they made their way into town. Mrs. Bennet deposited Elizabeth off at the dress makers, and told her to join them at Mrs. Phillips afterward. After Elizabeth had her fitting she was told by Mrs. Tappard she could expect the first packages delivered the next day. Elizabeth thanked her, then headed to her Aunt's.

On the way to her Aunt's house Elizabeth saw Mr. Wickham and Mr. Denny ahead of her. Both men bowed to her and made their congratulations.

"Thank you," Elizabeth blushed.

When they discovered where it was she was going they both offered to escort her. They fell into step with one another.

"I must admit," Wickham said, "that I was surprised to hear the news of your marriage."

Elizabeth felt her cheeks flush. "Yes, it was quite sudden."

"I suppose necessity dictates most of our lives," Wickham said. "We can't all of us marry where we choose, but where security lies."

"I say, Wickham," Denny interrupted, "what nonsense to say to a woman newly engaged."

Wickham smiled bashfully. "I meant no harm," he looked into Elizabeth's eyes, "I can only commiserate with you."

Elizabeth looked at him curiously and wished to ask him further questions, but they had already stepped to Mrs. Phillips door. Both men bowed to her, then headed down the road, leaving Elizabeth looking after one of them with confusion.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Another small chapter, I know, it's killing me too. As a bonus I'll post another chapter tomorrow after I'm done going over it one...or two...or three more times. :-)

As always, read and review please!

Chapter 5

The weeks seemed to pass by all too slowly and all too quickly at the same time to Elizabeth. Her wardrobe slowly made it's way from the dress makers and into Elizabeth's trunk, along with her other belongings she was to take with her to Hunsford. Mrs. Bennet lamented that she hardly had time for decorative work and wondered if a rector's wife would have idle moments during the day to pursue such pursuits. Hanging on a hook in the closet was her wedding dress, the most beautiful gown Elizabeth had ever owned, an ivory dress in the latest fashion with seed pearls adorning the bust. Mrs. Bennet declared it would look lovely on her daughter, and be entirely appropriate for when she visited Rosings and attended to Lady Catherine.

Mr. Collins had written to her twice a week, letters filled with flowery prose and attempts at poetry that she had been forced to read aloud to her family by her Mother. He seemed determined to fall in love with Elizabeth, regardless of her own feelings on the matter. She replied to his letters, hers a bit more sedate, asking questions about his work and his parishioners and questioning him on her future duties as the rector's wife, to which Mr. Collins was very pleased to inform her.

In contrast to Elizabeth's soon to be marriage was Jane's morose realization that Mr. Bingley was most likely never to return. Mrs. Bennet had made the observation a few times but Elizabeth distracted her with questions about the guests or food being served. One look at Jane, though, convinced Elizabeth she felt it deeply. Jane had written once to Miss Bingley, but no reply had been forthcoming, and it seemed that all was lost.

It had been a tradition for one of the girls to visit their Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London after the Christmas Holidays, and this year it had fallen on Jane. The visit would have to be postponed until after Elizabeth's marriage and it was decided that after her London visit she would then travel to Kent to visit her sister for the Easter Holidays. Jane's spirits rose at the thought of going to London and at least being in the same city as Mr. Bingley, though she wouldn't have confessed it for the world. She had resolved to only try to reacquaint herself with Miss Bingley and if her path and Mr. Bingley's should cross, so be it.

All in due course Mr. Collins returned to Hertfordshire and was invited to stay at Lucas Lodge the Tuesday night before the wedding. Mr. Bennet joked with Elizabeth that Sir William and Collins would spend all night comparing the grandeur of Rosings Park to that of St. James'. Elizabeth gave a little chuckle. She had been regarding her Father for the pass few weeks and he seemed healthier, his diet much improved. He had even taken to strolling through the garden in the mornings, often times accompanied by Elizabeth or Jane.

"Papa," she started the night before her wedding. It had grown dark and chilly and the family retired to the small sitting room, as close to the fire as they could get, wrapped in flannel blankets, sipping tea, Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet hidden away in the far corner of the room. "Have you seen the Physician lately?"

Mr. Bennet looked startled, then eased into a smile, "My dear child, do not worry about me. Knowing you are soon to be married has set my heart at ease."

"Has your health improved?" She asked.

"Lizzy," he carefully looked around to make sure none of the other family were listening, "I am still not long for this world, but I wish to live out the rest of my life in happiness."

"Papa," Elizabeth admonished, "you cannot hide your condition from them. Promise me you will tell them when I am gone?"

Mr. Bennet looked about ready to refuse, but then he saw the pleading in his daughter's eyes. "Yes," he said, placing his hand protectively over hers, "I shall tell them tomorrow night, after you have left."

Elizabeth smiled, kissed her Father on the forehead, then declared herself too tired to remain. Mrs. Bennet thought it a good idea, and began herding her daughters up the stairs and into their beds. No sooner had Elizabeth changed into her night clothes then there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Bennet opened the door and closed it behind her.

"Lizzy, there is something I need to speak to you about," Mrs. Bennet stood resolutely.

"Yes?" She asked.

Mrs. Bennet sat at the foot of the bed and motioned for Elizabeth to join her. Once Elizabeth was seated, she began, "As a wife you will be expected to perform certain...duties." Mrs. Bennet gave a short and somewhat vague description of a coupling between a man and woman and tried to reassure her that Mr. Collins would guide her and hopefully be gentle about it.

"During your first year of marriage he will visit your bed chamber numerous times during the week. As soon as your bear him a child, his visits will become fewer."

Not knowing what to say Elizabeth nodded her head. Mrs. Bennet regarded her child, her little Lizzy, then embraced her, told her she was a good girl, and how proud she was of her. When she pulled back from the embrace Elizabeth thought she saw the traces of tears, but Mrs. Bennet had left quickly thereafter.

That night Elizabeth had a fitful sleep, about shadowy men coming into her room and telling her to do her duty. She tried pulling away from them, but they were grabbing her hair and clothes and making it hard for her. Just as she was about to scream, the shadowy form came into the light and the face she saw startled her. It was Mr. Darcy.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here's another chapter. I'm going to be gone for the weekend so I may not post another chapter until the end of next week. I've changed the story a bit further ahead. I know Elizabeth marrying Collins is kind of sickening, which is why I've made him a bit more palatable towards Elizabeth. I am trying to illustrate the differences between the sexes during this time period and how, for a lack of a better description, unfair it was.

Again, Elizabeth will be involved with Darcy why she is still married to Collins, I need to make this very clear because I know a lot of people have a strong aversion to extra-marital affairs and I don't wish to offend. I do guarantee a HEA for Darcy and Elizabeth, but it won't be till much later.

R&R please!

Chapter 6

Elizabeth awoke to a loud knocking at her door. Mrs. Bennet had been rousing the house for that morning, her shrill voice echoing off the walls, her banging on the doors jarring the inhabitants out of their beds. Sarah, their maid, had entered Elizabeth's room with a tray of tea and toast, telling her she was there to help her get ready. As Elizabeth ate Sarah stoked the fire, then brought up a pitcher of warm water with which to bathe. In less than twenty minutes Elizabeth was ready.

Downstairs Hill and Mrs. Bennet were both ordering the two extra servants they borrowed from the Inn as to where to set the tables, where the cloths for the tables were, the dishes, food etc... When Mrs. Bennet saw Elizabeth she clapped her hands together in delight.

"Now, you look beautiful!" She said. "Girls! Girls! It is nearly time!" She called up the stairs.

Mr. Bennet came in through the front door, looked at his pocket watch, and said, "Well, the bride is ready, at least."

Down the stairs came Jane and Mary, traipsing behind them were Lydia and Kitty, all of them dressed in pale pink. Mrs. Bennet said she hadn't seen such finer girls in all the county. Mr. Bennet said if they didn't leave now then Mr. Collins would marry whomever was close at hand.

Just as they were exiting the house Charlotte Lucas came up the front drive. "Good," she said, racing to Elizabeth, "I thought I missed you. I made this for you, Lizzy."

Charlotte produced a cloth bag she had been holding, and from its depths she withdrew a wreath of orange blossoms. Elizabeth's eyes widened at the beauty of it as Charlotte placed the wreath on her head.

"Now, isn't that beautiful?" Jane said.

Charlotte smiled, gave Elizabeth a hug and kiss on the cheek. "You are a beautiful bride."

"Thank you," Elizabeth felt herself begin to tear up.

Mr. Bennet cleared his throat, "I wasn't joking about Mr. Collins choosing another bride if his first doesn't show up."

"Yes," Mrs. Bennet added, "It is passed time we were there."

Crowded around the outside of the Longbourn chapel were the servants and tenant farmers of the estate, each congratulating the bride and family. Charlotte rushed inside to sit with her family before the bridal party entered. Inside the chapel were their friends and family, Mr. Collins waiting at the alter. He seemed to catch his breath when he first laid eyes on Elizabeth. She blushed and looked down, following her sisters toward her future husband.

The ceremony was short and sweet, and soon after the bride and groom signed their name in the registry. A loud cheer went up as they exited the chapel, each voice raising above the other in order to congratulate the newly married couple. The large wedding party made their way to Longbourn where a vast feast was waiting for the guests and baskets filled with mead, pies and pastries for the servants and farmers.

Mr. and Mrs. Collins were seated at a table where their breakfast was served to them, their special cake taking center attention. Their guests came to them one by one, saying how happy they looked and being assured their future lives together would be filled with joy. Mr. Collins sputtered out responses as fast as he could, but unable to keep up with each guest. Elizabeth smiled, taking small bites of her food, afraid if she ate too much she would be nauseated.

After the breakfast the cake was cut and enjoyed by all, a moist concoction of dried fruit and nuts with a pink glaze covering the top. It was just before noon when Mr. Collins was alerted the coach he had hired to take them home arrived. Elizabeth's trunk and bags were packed, the couple said their goodbyes, and were soon safely ensconced within. They drove a full fifteen minutes in silence, one taking sidelong glances at the other, then quickly looking away.

"Please," Elizabeth said, "tell me about our new home."

Mr. Collins smiled, glad at the opportunity to describe his home to her. He spoke of the flower garden in front and vegetable garden in back and the land attached to the Parsonage, over half of which was farmed out to tenants. They had a stable with two horses, a wagon and cart, the latter which he often used to visit those in need of counsel and those who were sick. "You may borrow it whenever you need to go into town," Mr. Collins offered, to which Elizabeth smiled.

He next spoke of their servants, the stable man and his young son, who often helped in the garden. Mrs. Shaw, the Housekeeper, Jenny the maid and Mr. Hancock, the cook. Mr. Collins assured Elizabeth that his income from rents was more than enough to hire out a nurse when the time came.

After a few more minutes of silence, Collins produced a book and asked Elizabeth if she would like him to read aloud. She thanked him, and settled back against the squabs, closing her eyes, and slowly drifted to sleep to the deep voice of her husband's reading, the hooves of the horses clopping, and the wheels turning along the rutted road.

Their journey lasted almost the entire day. They made two stops to rest the horses and to stretch their own legs. They arrived in Kent just as the sun was beginning to set and Collins tisked at being unable to show her the house in proper light.

"Look, there," Collins pushed aside the curtain at the window and pointed to a distant house visible only by the candle light from the windows, "that is the rectory."

Elizabeth squinted in the darkness but could make out only the vaguest outline. The carriage neared and soon stopped just outside the front door, which suddenly opened and out came a line of servants ready to receive their Master and new Mistress. Collins exited the carriage first, then with a wide smile helped Elizabeth down.

Arm in arm, they made their way to the house. Collins introduced each servant to his wife.

"Cook has prepared a small repast, sir," Mrs. Shaw said, "would you care to eat in the dining room or in your rooms?"

Collins looked to his wife before saying they would eat together in the dining room, but after they refreshed themselves. Mrs. Shaw curtsied as the couple entered the house. Elizabeth barely had time to take in any of her surroundings. The house was dark, with so few candles lit. Collins led her up the stairs and to a room, with a single candle burning on the night stand.

"This is the room I have prepared for you," Collins said, stepping in the center, arms wide. "It is across the hall from my own."

Elizabeth cast her eyes out the door and rested them on the closed door across the hall. She wondered if he would come to her tonight? She was so tired she felt like once her head hit the pillow she would fall immediately asleep. Collins pointed out the wash table, with fresh towels and warm water and assured her her things would be unpacked as they ate.

"Jenny is a good girl and has told me she is able to dress hair and help you with your clothes. All you need do is ring the bell," he pointed to a cord hanging by the bed. "Elizabeth," Collins came to her and held her hands in his, "I of course won't come to you tonight. We have both had a long day and deserve some rest."

Elizabeth couldn't help but feel relieved, but tried not to show it. Collins gave her a kiss on her cheek, then began to walk to his own room, telling her he would collect her in fifteen minutes. She closed the door behind him then stood there a full minute contemplating how she had gotten to this spot. Was it really only this morning they had been married? Though there was but fifty miles between herself and Longbourn, she felt the distance might as well have been a thousand.

Shaking herself out of her reverie, she began to wash the dust and dirt of the road from her skin. She removed her pelisse and gloves and set them on the bed. Checking the mirror, she re-pinned her hair then waited for Collins to knock. Soon enough he was at her door and leading her to the small dining room, again lit by a very small amount of candles so that she was unable to discern the color of the walls.

Their meal was eaten in near silence, except for the noises Collins made as he ate his meal, a noise very much like pigs rutting in their trough. Twice Elizabeth had to pinch herself in order to keep awake. Finally Collins took pity on her and ushered her back to her room.

"First thing tomorrow I would like to show you the rest of the house and grounds," he said.

"That would be lovely," Elizabeth managed to say without yawning.

Collins smiled. He closed the distance between themselves, moved as if to kiss her lips, then changed direction and landed on her jaw. Elizabeth giggled, causing Collins to chuckle.

"I am sure we shall both get used to this," Collins sighed. "Goodnight, Elizabeth."

"Goodnight, Mr. Collins."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Alright, chapter update! A long one, finally!

Okay, I know I said Darcy would make his move in chapter...12 I think? But due to editing, it has been pushed back to chapter 15? I think...Sorry, but it will be good, I promise.

Read and review, thanks!

Chapter 7

The next day the sky was overcast, threatening rain. Elizabeth awoke to the sound of branches banging on the outside of her window, and suffered a moments worth of confusion before remembering the events of the day before. The air inside her room was crisp and looking towards the hearth she could see the fire had died almost completely. She pulled on the cord near her bed and waited for Jenny to knock.

"Come," Elizabeth called.

The door opened and Jenny, who looked to be no more than fifteen years old, entered, bobbed, then stood there mutely.

"Jenny, is it?" Elizabeth asked kindly.

"Yes'm," the girl replied.

"Please, Jenny, could you stoke the fire and lay on a log or two, then return with warm water?"

"Yes'm." Jenny bobbed again, brought the fire back to life, then hurriedly left.

Elizabeth gave a great sigh and while she waited, wondered what the day would bring. They would probably be confined to the house, whether it rained or not. It was terribly windy and the sky moody. Jenny returned with the pitcher of warm water and a fresh towel draped over her arm. She put them both down on the wash stand, collected the soiled towels, then asked if Elizabeth would be needing anything else.

"What time does Mr. Collins usually rise?" She asked as she got out of bed.

"Master Collins rises 'round nine o'clock, usually, Mum. He is awake now and in his study."

"Has he broken his fast?"

"Not as yet, cook is finishing it up now."

"Thank you, that will be all."

Jenny left and half way to the door, turned, bobbed twice for good measure, then left her Mistress. Elizabeth laughed. She would wager Jenny hadn't been in service very long and had very little training. She wondered if Mrs. Shaw had hired her or if Mr. Collins had. As she readied herself for the day she made a mental note of all the things she would have to do as the new Mistress of the Huntsford Rectory. First she would be given the tour by Mr. Collins, then she would have to speak to Mrs. Shaw and the rest of the household about their duties. The first mystery she was determined to solve was why the frugal use of candles? Could it be due to budget cuts? Or was Mr. Collins used to being by himself and in need of only on or two candles?

Elizabeth left the room, dressed and hungry. She had hardly eaten a thing the day before and her body was letting her know in no uncertain terms that she would need to eat directly. She made her way down the stairs and stopped at the bottom. She heard commotion coming from the room she remembered being the dining room. Sure enough, when she entered she saw Jenny placing plates of eggs, ham, toast and jellies on the table, along with a pot of coffee.

"Could you please inform Mr. Collins that breakfast is served?" She asked of Jenny, who nodded, bobbed, then left.

Elizabeth waited by the table for her husband. Soon enough Mr. Collins came into the room looking quite refreshed himself. He complimented Elizabeth on her looks, asked if she had a restful sleep, then bade her sit.

"I am afraid I shall need time adjusting to having a wife," Mr. Collins said as he served himself. "I usually awake early and read from scriptures or prepare my sermon. Lady Catherine has often said that the mind is at it's most sharp after waking."

The day continued on in this same strand. When Collins showed her the house he often compared a particular room to one at Rosings, or stated that such and such improvement was directed by Lady Catherine herself. She was beginning to feel she hadn't merely married Mr. Collins, but Lady Catherine as well. It did not bode well to have two women directing this marriage, and she was determined to rectify this as soon as possible.

The house was neatly situated, though smaller than Longbourn. The rooms were of a good size, and there was a large room in the garret for a nursery and two smaller rooms for a governess or maid, one of which was occupied by Jenny. The furnishings were in good condition, the window treatments looked new and when she inspected them Collins said they had been newly made when he first took possession, almost a year ago, and the fabric was picked out by Lady Catherine. Altogether Elizabeth was very pleased with her new home.

After the tour Mr. Collins asked if there was anything in particular she wised to see or do. She mentioned she wished to speak with the housekeeper. Mr. Collins called for the woman, and left them in the small drawing room towards the back of the house.

Mrs. Shaw was an older woman, perhaps the same age as Mrs. Bennet, though her hair was thoroughly gray and her faced lined with age. She was a tall woman and broad in the shoulders. When she had been called into the drawing room she stood before Elizabeth, her head held high, almost as if looking down her nose at her new mistress, her hands clasped firmly before her.

Elizabeth had very few examples on how the lady of the house was to speak and interact with a Housekeeper. The familiarity with which Mrs. Bennet had towards Hill had proven long ago to be the exception to the rule. Where Mrs. Bennet would call upon Hill in her shrill voice, Mrs. Long, or Mrs. Lucas would always pull a nearby bell-pull, or ask a passing servant to bring the Housekeeper to them when they wished to speak with her. And those venerable ladies always spoke calmly, but in a tone that demanded respect, and the housekeepers in turn obeyed their mistress with a level of obsequiousness demanded by their status. Elizabeth could tell right away that a year being the housekeeper of the parsonage with no mistress to reign her in had caused Mrs. Shaw to obtain some rather bad habits, which Elizabeth would seek to rectify at once.

"How long have you been in service?" She asked.

Mrs. Shaw stood taller, if indeed she could, seeming to bristle at the question. "I have been in service since I was twelve years old," was all she would allow.

"I see," Elizabeth pursed her lips, "and how many years would that be?"

"Nigh on 40 years, mum."

"And how long have you served as Housekeeper in general and to the parsonage in particular?"

"I became housekeeper to Mr. Waltman fifteen years ago, served five with him, eight with Mr. Marks, then came here to the Parsonage, serving the late Parson, then Master Collins when he came a year ago."

"Do you train the maids?"

"Aye, that I do, when they be fresh."

"And is Jenny...fresh?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, Jenny is the daughter of my niece and came to work here when Master Collins arrived."

"Well," now she was coming down to business, "Jenny seems to be lax in her duties. When I awoke this morning my fire had nearly gone out. I cannot vouch for the fire in my husband's room, but I suspect it was the same. Can you explain this?"

Mrs. Shaw fidgeted slightly, "Master Collins never expressed a desire for his fire to be re-stoked before rising."

"Be that as it may, from here on out I expect both our fires to be burning cheerily before either of us awakes on cold mornings. I also noticed some dust on the furniture as I took my tour of the house. I shall also like to look at the housekeeping books."

Mrs. Shaw startled at this, but quickly regained her composure. "Yes mum," she said, "will there be anything else?"

Elizabeth thought a moment, "No, you may bring the books up to my room, where I will spend the rest of the morning."

Before Mrs. Shaw could say another word Elizabeth headed up the stairs and to her room, feeling her heart flutter within her chest. To have spoken with such authority to a woman more than twice her age! She dearly hoped she had not overstepped her bounds. She was determined to be a good Mistress to those her served her, but she would not be robbed blind in the process. She had a feeling Mrs. Shaw was pocketing a few farthings on the side and hoped to deal with the transgression forthwith.

Nearly fifteen minutes elapsed before there was a knock at the door and Mrs. Shaw entered with a large, thin volume in hand. She gave it to Elizabeth, then waited to be excused.

"I shall need you here if I have any questions," Elizabeth said, indicating she should sit on the chair opposite her.

Elizabeth placed the book on the table and opened it. She learned her figuring from her Father, who was proud of the fact his daughter could add up large columns of numbers in her head without batting an eye. Mrs. Bennet wasn't overly proud of this talent, but realized even a lady needed to keep track of the expenses of her house. It was with this knowledge that she perused the book. The first page was dated nearly a year ago, most likely when her husband first took possession of the house. Throughout the book each page was dated, and the columns represented household expenses; servant wages, food, cloth, etc...and the money budgeted for such expenses. There were some discrepancies, but nothing overly huge, and could have been the result of bad arithmetic. However, when she came to the candles the number purchased seemed odd for a house this size. Elizabeth would have thought twice as much should have been used.

"Thank you," Elizabeth handed the volume over after a half hours worth of looking through it. There could be no doubt Mrs. Shaw wasn't exact in her record keeping, but no one would benefit from her bringing it up now. She would keep an eye on Shaw, and if there was any discrepancies from here on out, it would lead to her being sacked. "I should like to go over the books with you once or twice a month, perhaps at the beginning and middle of each month?"

"Yes mum," Mrs. Shaw gave her an arch look.

"By the by, when do you take your day off?"

"All servants get half day every Sunday, but I get the last Saturday a month off, and sometimes, when Master Collins is away, I take Jenny with me to visit her Mum."

Elizabeth felt an ache for her own Mother, "Let us continue this tradition. Every third month you shall take Jenny with you on your day off, and if we ever get a second maid, it can be every other month."

Mrs. Shaw's eyes widened, a look of astonishment covering her features, "Would Master Collins be right with that?"

"I shall speak with him about it later," Elizabeth cast her eyes out the windows and noticed the clouds had grown darker, and the wind more threatening. "It has been a long morning, why don't you let cook know we are ready to eat."

"Yes, mum, in the dining room?"

"Yes, I shall inform Mr. Collins myself."

Elizabeth felt very happy with how she had settled her first conflict with a servant. As she went down the stairs to Collins' study she thought about needing to speak with the cook and the stable master after luncheon.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Don't shoot me after reading this chapter.

Chapter 8

In due course Elizabeth was able to speak with the cook, learn how long he had been in service and to whom, and she even spoke with Jenny, whom she did her best to put her at ease. Jenny was asked if she had any skills with dressing women's hair and the maid informed her that she practiced with her sisters. It was decided that Jenny would help Elizabeth with her dress and hair when the occasion required it, but that most days she would do well by herself.

The next day, which was void of rain, Elizabeth even went to the stables to visit Mr. Rush, the stable master and his son, Thomas. He was a middle-aged man who's wife died giving birth to young Tom and had always worked in the stables at the Parsonage. He introduced Elizabeth to their two horses and told her, with the exception of harvest time, they would be at her beck and call. After breakfast Collins took her on a tour of their land in the pony cart, which he handled with dexterity, if not confidence. "I prefer to walk, if it is not too far."

When they came to the lane that led to Rosings Park Collins had pointed out the trees and bushes that bordered the road. "I sent a note to Lady Catherine yesterday informing her of our safe return and she expressed a wish to visit you. She said to expect her after service on Sunday."

"Will her daughter be joining us?"

"Yes," Mr. Collins directed the cart back to their home, "and most likely Miss de Bourgh's companion, Mrs. Jenkinson."

The entire day was filled with Elizabeth easing herself into the role of mistress. She went throughout the house taking inventory of all that belonged to the parsonage (quite a lot) and all that belonged to Mr. Collins, (not as much.) The parsonage had a beautiful tea set that Elizabeth directed Mrs. Shaw to use when her ladyship arrived on Sunday. When they came to the drawer where the candles were kept Elizabeth asked about the frugal use.

"Master Collins never had need of more," was her only explanation.

"In future I should like the rooms better lit."

"Yes mum."

Elizabeth spent the rest of her day writing letters to her Mother, sisters, and even one to Charlotte. Jane's she directed to London, for she would have left Longbourn that very day and thought it would be nice for her letter to be waiting for her at the Gardiner's when she arrived. All too soon evening befell them and she went down to supper where Collins waited for her.

Supper was a quiet affair,much like the night before, though properly lit. "You look lovely tonight, Elizabeth." Collins smiled, bowing to her, then tucked into his food. Elizabeth was quiet herself, not knowing what conversation would please him most. She supposed she could ask about Lady Catherine, he seemed to have an abundance to say about her, but couldn't stomach that topic just now. With their meal complete, Collins held his arm out for his wife, who took it, and led her to the drawing room where he thought to please her by reading from a book of sermons.

Elizabeth tried desperately to stay awake throughout the reading. She knew his dislike of novels, and though they were not her favorite, there was something to be said about a thrilling story to break up the monotony of every day life. She wondered if there was a lending library in town and if she could possibly sneak a book or two into the house on occasion.

After a half hour in this manner, Collins reading, Elizabeth thinking of other things, he shut the book. Looking at him he seemed to be a bit shy as he stood before her and held his arm out to her. She took it and followed him up the stairs and to her room.

"I shall come to you in fifteen minutes?" He asked, unable to look at her in the eye.

Elizabeth's eyes widened. So he meant to consummate the marriage tonight? Elizabeth silently nodded her head, then entered her room, shutting the door behind her. She could hear Collins open and close his own door. Her heart began to beat furiously in her chest, like a wild best trying to escape its cage. She went to her bed and sat, then almost immediately rose and paced the room. For a moment she thought about faking a head ache, but that would only put off the inevitable. She went to her dressing table and unpinned her hair, which fell in soft ringlets to the small of her back. She began to brush out any tangles, then when finished she began removing her shoes and stockings.

A knock at the door startled her, "Come," she called.

Mr. Collins timidly entered the room wearing a dressing gown. The beast within her chest began to pound more urgently at her rib cage. He slowly made his way to her, his eyes fluttering over her person without stopping at any one point. Elizabeth smiled despite her fears.

"Well," Collins started, "shall we to the bed?"

Elizabeth stood and made her way to her bed, sitting on the edge. Collins sat beside her and hesitantly placed his hand on her knee, then withdrew it. She wanted to recoil, but knew it would be faster if she let him do whatever it was he was going to do with her.

"Shall I help you out of your dress?" He asked.

Nodding her head, Elizabeth stood, her back before him. He untied the lace of her dress, then slowly let it slip down her body. Her skin prickled at the sudden coolness that rushed at her. She looked over to the fire and was glad to see it had been properly lit. Before she could think about anything else Collins was removing her chemise. She let out a little squeak as she covered her chest with her hands. It was a complete shock to be suddenly bare before a man, even if he was her husband. She closed her eyes shut, biting her bottom lip, hoping it wouldn't take too long and that it wouldn't hurt too much.

Collins sighed, his breath tickling her neck. He was playing with her hair, bringing it up to his face and inhaling its scent. He was directly behind her and she could feel his bare skin along her body. He must have removed his dressing gown. "I shall do my best to be gentle."

He laid her upon the bed, her hands still trying to cover herself. She refused to open her eyes, but it did not seem to deter Collins. The experience was frightening, and a bit painful, Collins making much the same noises as when he eats, and before she could let out a cry for him to stop it seemed the deed was done. Collins was climbing off her and she opened her eyes to see him donning his gown.

She wanted to ask if he was finished, but felt it prudent to remain silent. "I hope I did not hurt you too much?" He asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. He smiled, bent down to gently kiss her forehead, then left without another word, leaving her thoroughly confused. After a moment she arose from her bed and stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room. She looked the same as she did yesterday, but deep within she felt completely changed.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I always thought it strange in Pride and Prejudice that Elizabeth, who came off as having some intelligence, didn't take the entail at all serious, especially knowing she was her Mother's least favorite daughter. Didn't it ever cross her mind that if she didn't marry she'd be forced into service? Was Elizabeth's tale Jane Austen's way of justifying her own refusal to marry without the deepest love? Was she always hopeful that someday her own Darcy would come or had she resigned herself to her fate? Just something to think about.

I've been under the weather the past few days. Hopefully I'll be able to post again this week. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 9

There was a soreness between her legs when she awoke the next morning to the sound of Jenny stoking the fire. She glanced at the window and through the chinks in the curtain she could see dusty trails of sunlight filtering through. She felt like asking what time of the morning it was, but her mouth felt as if it were filled with wool. When Jenny was finished and left the room, Elizabeth slowly rose from bed, the images of the night before flickering through her mind.

She was a woman, now, she supposed. Or more appropriately, a wife. With her hand she pressed against her abdomen, wondering if it were possible that the events of last night would lead to a pregnancy. By this time next year would she have a baby? The thought made her smile, and suddenly she remembered the perks of being married, even if it were to a man such as Collins. She suddenly ached for a child and hoped soon to have one.

The morning meal was had in almost the same fashion as every other meal, except Collins seemed a bit more bashful and blushed every time he looked at his wife. Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at the affect she had on this man. She had heard other married women mention how they could make their husbands do things the way they wanted them done and now she understood. She would wager she could ask her husband for just about anything right now and he would give it to her, willingly.

"Mr. Collins," Elizabeth said as she finished eating, "I should like to meet the tenants today, if you have some free time."

"Yes," Collins wiped his mouth with his napkin, "I have the entire afternoon off. I shall collect you when I am ready."

As they were leaving the room Collins hesitantly approached Elizabeth and placed an awkward kiss on her cheek. She watched him enter his study and shut the door behind him. Since the rain had passed and it was relatively sunny outside, Elizabeth felt she would take advantage of the good weather and go for a walk. She donned her pelisse, bonnet and gloves, and for good measure wrapped a woolly scarf around her neck.

She walked on a path near the main road, having no wish to get lost. After she accustomed herself to the surrounding lanes and by ways she would explore her new world with pleasure, but for now she would stick to the well traveled road. It was quite muddy outside from the rain, but not enough to deter her. As she wandered around the countryside she admired the natural scenery and was eager to see it during Spring. The fields would be bursting with wild flowers, the trees full of leaves dappling the ground in shadow and light. It wold be a pleasure to lose oneself in such visions.

When she returned home she asked Jenny to bring up a cup of tea to her room while she prepared for her outing with her husband. By the time she was finished Collins was ready as well. They hopped into the pony cart and he led her, one by one, to their tenant houses. There were seven, in all, most of them belonging to young families, some with babes on the way. When she met these women she instinctively rubbed her own stomach. For the most part they were well taken care of, all of them in good health, their houses in good repair. One cottage settled deep in a grove of trees belonged to an older gentleman who had a young son about sixteen, and his wife, who was ill.

"Has the apothecary been to see her?" Elizabeth asked.

The man, Martin Cosgrove, shook his head, "'Tis but a cold. She'll be right as rain in no time."

"I shall send over some elderberry win," Elizabeth said.

"Perhaps you should confer with me," Mr. Collins said as they made their way back home, "before you gift things to the tenants."

Elizabeth's eyebrows rose, "Oh?"

"Yes," Mr. Collins continued, oblivious to her reaction, "first, I do not know if we carry elderberry wine at this time, and second if we could afford such things. I have noticed the use of more candles, but thought to indulge you on that score, but perhaps..."

"Mr. Collins," Elizabeth interrupted, "I took a full inventory of the household goods yesterday with Mrs. Shaw. We have five bottles of elderberry wine. I shall pour some into a flask and send that. I did notice the elderberry brambles against the far gate in the garden, I can always make more."

Eyes wide, Collins stared at her. She continued, "I have also taken over the household expenses, and with a little adjustment, along with the interest of my modest dowry, we can more than afford to give succor to those in need of succoring."

"Yes," Collins stuttered, unable to refute the quoted scripture. "I see you are indeed beyond the worth of rubies."

Mr. and Mrs. Collins fell into a pattern, regarding their lives together. Upon awakening, Collins would retire to his study where he would read and work on his sermon, while Elizabeth would walk, weather permitting. They would join each other to break their fast, then confer what they would be doing the rest of the day. Elizabeth encouraged him to work in the garden and visit his Parishioners who were sick in body or in soul. If he would be away from the house for a long period of time she would have cook make him a basket of food to take with him. Elizabeth herself would visit the tenants, getting better acquainted with them and helping them in any way she could. She had spent many a long afternoon with Mrs. Cosgrove, getting better acquainted with her. In the evening they would have their meal together, then retire to the drawing room where Collins would read to her for a time from a book or from his sermon, then lead her to her room where they would repeat the events of the previous night. Life for Elizabeth would have been, if not perfect, at least content; that is except for Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

The woman was everything Elizabeth pictured her to be, and more. When she arrived at the church on the first Sunday, Mr. Collins immediately left the family he was talking with and kowtowed to her, ushering her to their front pew. Elizabeth, watching this spectacle, was slightly amused. Lady Catherine was as tall as she, with dark, almost black, hair, and a shock of gray at her left temple. She looked as if she had once been a great beauty, but the years had not been overly kind to her. She wore a spectacularly fine dress, adorned with jewels, and looked as if she were greeting royalty, instead of attending Sunday Services.

Miss de Bourgh was an opposite of her Mother. She was shorter, thinner, her hair was a mousy brown, and her features pale. She would often cough into her lace handkerchief, and be given a drought of something to drink by her companion, Mrs. Jenkinson. She looked cross, and refused to speak to anyone, least of all Elizabeth.

"What a disagreeable girl," Elizabeth thought, as the sermon began.

Mr. Collins oratory skills were not much. He would often have to look at his notes, having got lost in thought, and constantly be casting his gaze over at Lady Catherine, who sat still throughout. When the sermon was over Mr. Collins hurriedly made his way to the aisle where he pushed aside the other parishioners in order for Lady Catherine, Miss de Bourgh, and Mrs. Jenkinson could pass unmolested. Elizabeth snorted at such a display, rose herself, and followed the others out of the church, introducing herself to those who happened to be nearby.

"My dear!" Mr. Collins called, "Lady Catherine has so graciously offered to drive us to the Parsonage. We must hurry!"

Mr. Collins grabbed Elizabeth by her arm and pulled her along as she called a hasty goodbye to someone she had just met. Lady Catherine had arrived in a barouche. She and her daughter were sitting forward facing and Collins helped Elizabeth up and followed after, making flowery introductions as they settled themselves.

"What about Mrs. Jenkinson?" Elizabeth asked, seeing no room left.

"She will ride with the driver," Lady Catherine waved her hand.

Indeed, Mrs. Jenkinson had already hoisted herself up onto the precarious perch of the driver, and soon they were on their way. Elizabeth had asked cook to prepare a light meal for their return, and to keep a full pot of water on the stove. The tea set had already been brought out and on display in the sitting room, and Elizabeth hated to admit it, but she was looking forward to serving Lady Catherine and her daughter tea. They were, after all, the first guests she would receive into her home.

Lady Catherine eyed Elizabeth, from head to toe, taking in her clothes and overall appearance. She asked her questions about her family, declaring her disapproval at all her sisters being out at once. Elizabeth disagreed, stating her opinion that younger sisters should not have to be deprived of entertainment because older sisters were not inclined to marry. Lady Catherine looked shocked at such a speech. She amended by saying perhaps fifteen was too young.

Mr. Collins took the reins of the conversation, steering it towards the sermon, which Lady Catherine approved, and recommended next weeks topic. Before Collins could declare what a wonderful idea it was, the barouche stopped outside their gate. Elizabeth was about to invite them in for tea, when Lady Catherine gave a parting word to them both, then commanded the driver to continue on to Rosings.

Elizabeth was crestfallen. She stared after the retreating barouche, wondering what had happened. Did not Collins say they were to call on them after services? Had she not prepared a nice meal for them all, with the best tea service on display?

"Come, my dear," Collins called from the door of the house.

"Did you not say they were to call today?" Elizabeth asked, following her husband inside and taking off her outerwear.

"Yes, but they usually do not enter the house," he replied so casually.

Elizabeth shook her head. She supposed she would never understand the very rich and their rude manners, declared she was too tired to eat, and made her way to her room where she lay on the bed, hoping Mr. Collins would not visit her tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The weather is cooling off where I am and it's lovely! I think Fall is my favorite time of year and I can't wait until the leaves turn.

Anyway, here's a new chapter, hope you like it. Darcy will be making an appearance soon ;-)

Chapter 10

The Collins' were often asked to dine at Rosings Park from then on. Though Elizabeth was no great talent at the piano forte, the music with which she was able to elicit out of the instrument in the drawing room was appreciated by those who listened. For herself, it meant not having to take part in any ridiculous conversation as long as she kept her fingers trilling over the keys, and ridiculous they were. Lady Catherine, pontificating as if she were laying out the wisdom of the ages, and her husband agreeing whole heartedly to whatever that lady had to say, even if she contradicted herself on a previous days discourse. The opinions and knowledge of Lady Catherine was very apparent but that of Miss de Bourgh and Mrs. Jenkinson less so.

Anne de Bourgh, Elizabeth had learned, was nearing seven and twenty years of age, had never been further from home than London, and even ventured there less than a dozen times in her lifetime. She had a limited education, took little part in the conversations, and often retired early to bed when a coughing fit seized her. Whatever ailed the poor girl was never mentioned, therefore Elizabeth had no clue as to what made her so sickly.

Apart from learning these things she also became aware of her engagement to Mr. Darcy. This news came to her on their first evening at Rosings, where Mr. Collins wasted no time in informing Lady Catherine that while away in Hertfordshire he had introduced himself to her nephew and that he looked in good health.

"My dear nephew," Lady Catherine sighed. "He and Anne are engaged, have been since the cradle. It was the express wish of his Mother and myself."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. Engaged? She looked over at Miss de Bourgh who looked neither thrilled nor displeased with the arrangement. She supposed the two of them would do very well for each other, both seeming proud, disagreeable people.

"Every Spring he visits me along with my other nephew, Colonol Fitzwilliam. They love to ride through Rosing's lands and visit with their dear Aunt. They also confer with my steward and make sure the land is producing."

At that time Elizabeth had been asked to play for them and she hastily made her way to the instrument and began a sedate tune she had been lately practicing. Lady Catherine had made it clear Elizabeth could use the piano in Mrs. Jenkinson's room, where she would not be in the way, to practice, and Elizabeth had every intention of taking up the offer. Thoughts of Mr. Darcy left her and she immersed herself in the song until Lady Catherine called for the carriage to take them home.

That night, after Collins' visit to her bedrooms, she fell asleep and had the most extraordinary dream in which Mr. Darcy was a prominent figure. She had been at Rosings, playing on the piano, when she felt him come up behind her and begin to kiss her neck, his hands caressing her sides. She was startled awake, her heart pounding furiously within her, an unknown hunger lingering in the pit of her stomach. It was still dark out so she remained in bed and tried to calm herself. Eventually she fell back asleep and was untroubled by dreams the rest of the night.

When she awoke the next morning she remembered, in vivid detail, her dream and felt a deep blush creep upon her neck and face. A memory came pulling at her mind. Hadn't she had a dream about Mr. Darcy before? The rest of the day images from the dream came unbidden to her, no matter how she tried to stop them. When it finally came time for Mr. Collins to visit her in bed she closed her eyes while he was atop her, like always, but this time she imagined Mr. Darcy above her. Her husbands visit never lasted long, and he rarely stayed choosing instead to retire directly to his own room, so he did not see the look of shame that came upon her when he finished.

s-S-s

The days and weeks passed and Elizabeth began to feel at home in Hunsford. She learned of the goings on of the Meryton Militia from Kitty (Lydia never wrote to her, choosing instead to add a sentence or two at the bottom of someone else's letter) the gossip of the neighborhood from her Mama, and from her Papa, he admitted to not telling his family of his sickness, confessing himself to be a weak man and praying for his daughter's forgiveness.

Jane wrote from London regularly, informing her how her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner were and their children. She told of the letters she wrote to Miss Bingley and how the first must have been misdirected, but the second was answered. Then in a later letter she was told about the cool reception Miss Bingley gave Jane when she visited her in Cheapside. Jane finally had to concede that Miss Bingley's feelings towards her amounted to nothing, and that she would most likely never see Mr. Bingley again.

Elizabeth's heart ached for her sister. She wrote to her reminding her of the visit she would make come Spring and what adventures she had planned for her sister. Elizabeth had become well known with all the little paths and by ways surrounding her home and that of Rosings. She had already chosen a favorite trail that led up a hill which gave one a favorable view of Rosings Park, the grand house in the background, the fields and groves of trees surrounding. She would take her sister to that patch of meadow grass, lay out a blanket, and while watching the natural beauty around them, gorge themselves on cold chicken, pies, and a jug of lemonade made specially for her.

During the daylight hours Elizabeth was able to keep herself busy with managing the household and visiting the tenants. At night, however, is when she was plagued by the dreams of Mr. Darcy. Not every night, mind you, but enough to disarm Elizabeth. She tried everything she could think of to keep them at bay. She even asked Mrs. Shaw if she knew of any tonics she could take to keep away "bad" dreams. Nothing worked.

Her dilemma remained her own. She could not speak with her husband about it, nor anyone else. If Jane had been here after that first dream she most likely would have told her everything, but she soon realized this was her burden to bear, and hers alone.

The dreams became vivid pictures of her and Mr. Darcy, sometimes as innocuous as sitting in the Netherfield sitting room, discussing books. Others involved passionate embraces and stolen kisses. Once, after reading a rather dark novel, her dream morphed so that she was the heroine, and Mr. Darcy the villain who sought to steal her virtue. The next day she returned said book to the lending library and refused to read another novel for quite some time.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Here's the next chapter! I'm finding I don't have quite as much time to write. My two and a half year old doesn't think he needs to nap anymore. Oh well...

Chapter 11

The day for Mr. Bennet's and Jane's stay in Hunsford arrived. The sun was shining and the flowers in the garden were beginning to bloom. Elizabeth had had the entire house cleaned during the previous week and was anticipating showing her home to her Father and sister. The only disappointment Elizabeth had was the absence of any news regarding her family being expanded.

Mr. Collins did his duty by his wife almost every night since they had been married with no results. Elizabeth knew what signs to look for; missed cycle, soreness in certain parts of her body and even morning sickness. She realized it had only been two months since her marriage, but she knew plenty of couples who were married, and then nine months later a babe was born. Could there possibly be something wrong with her? Or with her husband? She was tempted to call for the physician, but held back.

Mr. and Mrs. Collins were presently in the front sitting room, looking out the window towards the lane. Mr. Bennet's letter indicated they would be arriving around noon, and as the clock struck the noon hour, Elizabeth began to feel anxious. She longed to see Jane again, to speak to her dear sister, see for herself if Jane was truly overcoming her disappointment in Mr. Bingley. She also desired to speak with her Father. She was determined that when he returned home he would tell his family about his ill health, she was even willing to tell Jane about it so that she could make sure it happened.

"My dear," Mr. Collins rose from his chair, "they are here."

Elizabeth rose from her seat and stared out the window. Indeed, a carriage was pulling up to their front gate, Mr. Rush coming up to help with the luggage. She made her way out of the house, followed by Mr. Collins, to greet her Papa and sister. Mr. Bennet exited the carriage first and handed down Jane, both looking in good health.

"Oh, Jane," Elizabeth rushed to her sister and embraced her, holding back the flood of tears that threatened to spill forth.

"Lizzy," Jane laughed, "It is good to see you."

Mr. Bennet chuckled, "Do I not deserve such a reception?" He held his arms out to Elizabeth who entered them gratefully. She breathed in the familiar smells of her Father and smiled.

The guests were led into the house, gave a brief tour of the rooms they passed through as they made their way up the stairs to their own rooms. Mr. Bennet's room was down the hall, dubbed the "guest" room, Mr. Collins had singled it out for special guests. Jane was given a room next to Elizabeth's, smaller in size, but highly functional. Mr. Collins pointed out the shelves in the closet, in much the same way he did for Elizabeth when she first saw them.

"What cunning placement," Jane allowed.

"Please, rest yourselves. Jenny will bring up some water to wash with, and tea, if you wish it." Elizabeth followed Mr. Collins below stairs where they waited for their guests.

In no time at all they were reunited in the sitting room, exchanging news and gossip. Mr. Collins attempted to converse with Mr. Bennet about the latest goings on in London and Parliament. On Elizabeth's recommendation he had purchased a London paper. He had been reluctant at first, declaring he had no time to spare from his ecclesiastical duties to dabble in London "folderol." It wasn't until Lady Catherine gave her stamp of approval, citing the importance of being aware of the shifting times around them that Collins' finally capitulated. As a result Mr. Collins' knowledge of the world expanded and his conversation, though not excellent, was much improved, and Elizabeth would often exchange ideas with him in the evening, usually curtailing his reading from sermons.

Mr. Bennet was surprised by Mr. Collins' improvement and instantly knew the source. He eyed his daughter, delighted she was able to better her situation in such a way. He did his best to keep the conversation going, though Collins was prone to ridiculous conclusions.

Elizabeth and Jane were speaking, though neither ventured to bring up any Bingley, Caroline or Charles. That was a topic best left for private conversation.

Supper was served early that evening, and afterwards Elizabeth recommended her Father and sister retire to their rooms to rest from their travels. Collins expressed his pleasure with their guests to his wife and assured her they would also be invited to dinner at Rosings, to which Elizabeth thought they wouldn't be able to avoid it even if they wished to.

s-S-s

"Jane, are you feeling well?" Elizabeth asked of her sister a week later.

They were sitting on a large blanket, empty plates discarded around them, as they stared out at the vast expanse of fields and woods towards Rosings Park. Elizabeth had hoped to have this enjoyment earlier, but it had rain two days straight and they waited longer for the ground to dry properly. The subject she wished to speak on had not been brought up for they were never alone to do so.

On this day Mr. Bennet expressed a desire to go fishing, to which Mr. Collins felt obliged to accompany him. Elizabeth had already made the plan to picnic with Jane and was pleasantly surprised when the gentlemen were occupied so as not to interfere.

Jane sighed, "I am as well as I can be." Jane cast her eyes about and took a deep breath. "I still feel a pang when I see something which reminds me of him, but that is all. If he truly loved me he would have returned." Jane turned to face Elizabeth, who cast her eyes down.

She had wanted to vilify Caroline Bingley, declare Mr. Bingley did love her, or was well on his way to that end, when Caroline probably convinced him otherwise. How she wished to to say these things, but felt it prudent to remain silent. If Jane truly were recovering from her heartache it would be best to let it rest.

From then on the girls often took their morning stroll together and in no time Jane's smiles and laughter returned. They explored the grounds of Rosings and its surrounding paths. Elizabeth explained who the Principle families in the area were, though admitted to having only met a few of them, and at church, no less. Most of the families were in London for the Season and would not be returning until Summer.

"There is a family that rent some of our land, the woman is older, but we have gotten along well. She has a son who is sixteen and has it in his head to join the army. Mrs. Cosgrove is employing every motherly cunning she can muster into preventing it. He is her only surviving child. I often visit her."

"You find a more pleasant affiliation with a tenants wife than that of Lady Catherine and her daughter?" Jane's eyebrows rose.

Elizabeth laughed, "Indeed I do. Now what have you to say to that?"

"Only that," Jane responded, "you are ever, and most likely will forever remain, my dear sister."

Jane had met Lady Catherine on their first evening over at Rosings. Lady Catherine declared Jane a rather pretty girl with genteel manners, and seemed mystified that she was not already married. She then went on to expound on the virtues of marriage of young women so as to prevent any temptation. To Elizabeth's horror Mr. Bennet often goaded Lady Catherine by expressing a desire to hear more on any of the subjects she brought up, eventually leading her down a twisting path of contradictions; women should marry young to prevent temptation, but men should wait until they can afford a wife and family, regardless of temptations.

"Are not temptations of the flesh just as powerful to men as women?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"Indeed!" Lady Catherine declared, "but men may overcome most discretions, where as women are tarnished by the mere hint of scandal."

"Too true," Mr. Collins added.

"Yes," Mr. Bennet agreed, " _too_ true."

What a happy three weeks they spent in each others company. Elizabeth even took her Father aside one morning while Jane was nursing a headache to converse with him about his illness and their families lack of knowledge of it. She reprimanded him as best she could and told him she would write to Jane if she did not receive notice of his doing so when they arrived home. Other than that it had been blissful, with three more weeks to come.

"Mrs. Collins," Collins said over breakfast one Sunday morning, "we shall not be dining at Rosings this evening. Lady Catherine's nephews have arrived and she intends to stay home to visit with them."

Elizabeth's heart began to beat within her chest. She remembered Lady Catherine mentioning that Mr. Darcy and another of her nephews often visited her during the Easter Holidays. My goodness, was it that time already? Thankfully she had not had another dream since her Father and sister arrived, but she began to worry with him in the neighborhood and their inevitable meetings they would come back with a vengeance.

"Is that so?" She asked, attempting to keep down the food in her stomach.

All around her continued on in a predictable, normal fashion, but Elizabeth began dreading the day she would see Mr. Darcy again. Not for her sake, she tried to convince herself, but for Jane's. Seeing him would bring back all that had happened at Netherfield, and she did not wish her sister to fall back into a melancholy.

Yes, for her sister's sake she dreaded the first meeting.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: First chapter with Darcy! YAY! Hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 12

It was a full week before Elizabeth's path crossed that of Mr. Darcy, or rather a full week minus one day. The party at the Parsonage had seen neither hair nor tail of Lady Catherine or her guests, a fact which Mr. Collins was beginning to fret over. Mr. Bennet and Jane felt no particular slight, and neither of them having any pressing need to reestablish any sort of acquaintance with Mr. Darcy, did not feel as if they were being over looked.

Saturday morning, after Elizabeth's and Jane's walk, they all broke their fast together and just as they were seating themselves in the drawing room to discuss what their plans were for that day, Jenny entered and announced Mr. Darcy and a Colonol Fitzwilliam, the former looking austere the latter jovial.

Once Mr. Darcy made the introductions of his cousin to those in the room, he stationed himself at the mantle and practically glowered. Elizabeth instantly felt the insult and refused to look at him during their discourse. She was pleasantly surprised by his cousin's manners which resembled Mr. Bingley's in that he was open, friendly, and prone to conversation, the complete opposite of Mr. Darcy.

"Do you see much action with the French?" Elizabeth asked.

The Colonel turned to her and frowned, "Unfortunately, no. Tensions are heating up in the America's and I'm suspecting I'll be shipped there to train troops. Rather tedious, if you ask me. Much rather trounce the Frenchies."

"I never understood man's need to solve their differences using violence," Jane said, tsking.

"Miss Bennet, if settling conflict could be had by a mere meeting of words I'm afraid I'd be out of the job."

Jane blushed, "I only meant..."

"I am teasing you," the Colonel assured, "I too wish we could solve these conflicts without the extreme loss of life."

"Elizabeth," Mr. Bennet interrupted, "did you not intend to take Jane to a shop today and by lace, or ribbon, or whatever it is young ladies adorn themselves with?"

"Yes, indeed, we had better hurry," Elizabeth rose and was about to make her farewells to their guests when Colonel Fitzwilliam offered to take them into town with his Aunt's barrouche.

"I hardly think that is necessary," Elizabeth started to say, but the Colonel wouldn't hear more of it. He went outside and grabbed young Tom and told him if he could make it to Rosings and ask for the barrouche to be sent around and back again he'd give him a shiny new coin.

Feeling anxious, Elizabeth waited. She cast a wary glance at Mr. Darcy while the others were busy talking about the fine weather they were having, when she saw that he had been staring at her, not even having the decency to turn away when she caught him! How she wished she could call him out on his rude behavior. Soon enough their conveyance arrived and just as they were exiting the house Mr. Collins called for Elizabeth to stay behind for a moment.

"Elizabeth, I do not think it wise for Jane to entertain any hopes of catching Colonel Fitzwilliam," Mr. Collins started, "though he has a low income and is in the regulars, he is the youngest son of an Earl and is expected to marry well."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, "Marrying my sister is not well?"

Mr. Collins fumbled with his words attempting to correct a supposed misunderstanding, much to Elizabeth's amusement. She knew perfectly well what he meant and had already determined to warn her sister to shield her heart from the man, but she couldn't resist poking a little fun at her ridiculous husband.

"Do not worry," Elizabeth finally had to interrupt him, "I will keep Jane on her guard."

Mr. Collins smiled, gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek, then watched her head towards the waiting barrouche. Jane was already seated and as she neared both men offered their hand to her. She firmly grabbed the Colonel's, thanked him for his help, and sat beside her sister. The Colonel sat across from Jane while Mr. Darcy sat in front of her.

During their entire time on the road Mr. Darcy said fewer than a dozen words, and all clipped responses to questions that had to be directly asked of him. Finally the party excluded him from their conversation entirely, and they had a merry time until they pulled up in front of the haberdasher's where some fine ribbon was on display in the window. The women were helped down, the men following them into the shop.

A small bell tinkled as they entered the front room of the shop, which had displays of lace, ribbon, gloves, sewing materials, etc... A middle-aged shopkeeper welcomed them to her store and offered to show them her latest shipment of fabric straight from Portsmouth. "I get my shipment directly from the supplier, thus passing on any savings to you."

"No, thank you," Elizabeth said, then introduced herself and her sister. "We are looking for ribbon to set off a pale pink dress, and another light green one."

The shopkeeper directed them towards where her finest ribbons were, making suggestions and asking more about the gowns and where they would be worn. After some minutes of discussion both Jane and Elizabeth walked out with their purchase of ribbon, thanking the shopkeeper.

"Where to now, ladies?" The Colonel asked, holding his arm out for Jane.

Without asking Mr. Darcy held his arm out for Elizabeth, who hesitantly took it. She was all too aware of the heat emanating from his body, which was very near to her own, and the muscles beneath his coat. She tried to focus on what Jane was saying.

"Lizzy, did you hear me?" Jane asked, looking back. "Do you think I should get something for Mary, Kitty and Lydia?"

"Oh," Elizabeth laughed, "yes, of course. There is a milliners just down the street. I've never been inside, but I have heard they have some fine bonnets."

As their party walked down the street Elizabeth tried to think of something to say to the man who held her arm in his own. She fought back the images of her dream with the memory of his stay at Netherfield and how disagreeable he was.

"How are you...doing?" Mr. Darcy asked, startling her.

She looked up at his face but he was focused on his cousin and Jane, who were rapidly outdistancing themselves.

"Fine," Elizabeth tried to swallow.

"I was surprised upon hearing you had married. I did not know that you and Mr. Collins had formed an...attachment."

"Yes," Elizabeth replied, "it was rather sudden." Then, extraordinarily, Elizabeth felt her ire raise slightly. "Much the same way you and the Hursts and Miss Bingley left Netherfield...suddenly."

At least he had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. "Yes, Miss Bingley was convinced that once in London, Bingley would opt to remain there."

"I suppose he did warn us of his hasty decision making. Do you know if he intends to return to Netherfield?"

"I do not," Darcy replied, "though I doubt it."

"Then," Elizabeth sighed, "he had better give up his lease so that someone else can settle there more permanently."

"I would not be surprised if he did just that."

 _Oh insufferable man!_ Elizabeth thought. He must have known she wished to hear news of Bingley and therefore denied her her pleasure. Or perhaps we was just that obtuse? Before Elizabeth could ask him further questions they had arrived a the milliners where Jane and the Colonel were already inside, the Colonel placing various hats and bonnets on Jane's head, declaring which she should buy.

"I just cannot decide!" Jane laughed, looking at the mess they had made of the inventory.

"Then you should buy them all." The Colonel answered.

"All of them?" Jane was shocked, "the coins in my purse say otherwise, sir."

There was a twinkle in the Colonels eye as he helped her reduce her options to the three that she would purchase, though she looked longingly at a delicate looking bonnet in the corner. With their purchases in their laps, the barrouche carried them home. They were helped inside by the gentlemen, and just as they were about to leave Colonel Fitzwilliam pulled Jane's gloved hand up to his mouth were he feigned placing a kiss upon it, all the while staring up at her beautifully flushed face.

Both Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth looked disapprovingly on, each determined to have a very serious conversation to their relation.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Alrighty, next chapter up! The story is coming along splendidly, I'm about ten chapters ahead of what I post, hoping that gives me plenty of room to make changes if I need to. Cheerio!

"Do not worry, Lizzy," Jane tried to assure her sister after having been lectured about not losing her heart to the Colonel. "Believe me when I say I am more protective of my heart than before. I had already guessed he would not be free to marry where he chose and I am not in haste to fall in love."

Elizabeth wasn't fully convinced, especially after the next day when a package was delivered to the Parsonage for Jane. Curiously Jane tore at the paper and opened the box to reveal that very bonnet she had yearned for from the other day. Seeing a folded note at the bottom of the box Elizabeth reached for it and read the contents:

 _Though fair indeed_

 _this bonnet be_

 _to buy, I could not abstain._

 _I gift it thee,_

 _though lovely,_

 _no more beautiful than Jane._

It was signed Col. Fitzwilliam!

"He is writing you poetry!" She declared, thrusting the note in Jane's face who had been busy inspecting the bonnet.

Jane gently placed the bonnet back in the box and read the note herself, a slight flush creeping over her face. "He cannot mean it...not really."

"Oh, I have a few choice words for him," Elizabeth threatened.

Jane placed her hand on Elizabeth's arm, "Lizzy, there must be a mistake. Or perhaps he is merely teasing me again."

"For his sake, I hope so," Elizabeth turned to Jane who stood there staring at the bonnet. "You cannot keep it. You must send it back."

"I know," Jane sighed. "It is lovely, but I cannot accept a gift from a man I just barely met."

Elizabeth helped her wrap the bonnet back in the tissue and boxed it up. She told Jane she'd keep it in her room and when the men were out of the house have it delivered to Rosings. Colonel Fitzwilliam will get the meaning behind it, she hoped. That evening they had been invited to Rosings for supper and Elizabeth was determined to confront the Colonel about his gift.

It seemed Elizabeth didn't need to wait, for while on their walk that afternoon they came across the Colonel and Mr. Darcy, both atop their horses.

"What have we here?" The Colonel asked upon spying them. "Cousin, guard yourself, they are wood nymphs seeking to lure us to our doom."

"Good afternoon Mrs. Collins, Miss Bennet," was Darcy's dry reply.

The men dismounted their horses and the Colonel explained that they often rode out inspecting their Aunt's land, discussing ways in which to improve the farms and productivity.

"There was a blight last year which desiccated nearly ten acres of once good farm land. The tenants had to move and it has laid fallow ever since. We were on our way to inspect the land and cottage."

"Do not let us keep you," Elizabeth said.

"And give up the chance to walk with two such beautiful creatures?" The Colonel scoffed. "I think not. But Miss Bennet, did you not get the package this morning?" It seemed the Colonel had just noticed Jane was wearing her plain bonnet instead of the one he had sent her.

Jane cleared her throat, "No, sir, I could not accept such a gift."

"Truly?" He asked, hurt. "Why ever not?"

Jane's cheeks flushed, unable to answer. "Because," Elizabeth stated, "it is improper for a single man to send gifts to a single woman who is not related to him."

Mr. Darcy's head shot up at this, glaring questioningly at his cousin. "You sent Miss Bennet a gift?"

The Colonel rolled his eyes, "I saw that she liked it but had not the money to purchase it after getting those gifts for her sisters. I wished to make her happy, so I bought it."

Darcy looked disapprovingly at the Colonel, but said nothing further. He then scrutinized Jane, to which Elizabeth took umbrage.

"I am afraid we are due back at the Parsonage," she said, then taking her sister firmly by the arm, walked away from the men.

"You did not need to be so terse," Jane admonished once they were out of earshot.

"Jane, the Colonel is well on his way of making a fool of himself, I will not step aside and have him drag you with him."

When they returned home they were told by Mrs. Shaw that Mr. Collins had stepped out to visit a parishioner, while her Father was in the sitting room reading the paper. She told Jane to go to their Father while she took care of some business. She hurried up to her room and grabbed the package with the offending bonnet, then, to make sure no one saw her, she took the servants stairs down to the kitchen and out the door.

She was about to exit the kitchen when she saw her husband just outside the door, inspecting the herb garden. _Drat,_ she thought, sneaking back inside. Mr. Collins and Cook were looking over the garden, Elizabeth could see from the window, and didn't appear to be in any hurry. She snuck back up the stairs and safely deposited the box underneath a blanket in the closet. It would have to be returned later, she determined.

Elizabeth made her way down the stairs, joining her Father and sister until her husband returned, where he admonished them to ready themselves for that nights supper, so as not to be late. After donning their newly made-over dresses, the women joined the men below and on foot they made their way to the Parsonage where they were escorted to the sitting room to wait for their hosts.

Darcy entered first, greeted the guests, then surprisingly made his way towards the empty seat next to Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet and Jane had taken up a small couch, while Mr. Collins always seated himself closest to the chair Lady Catherine favored, leaving Elizabeth quite alone. Elizabeth expected Mr. Darcy to speak to her, even if just an unremarkable topic, but he remained silent. The Colonel entered then, to which Elizabeth looked at her sister to gauge her true feelings for the man. She smiled at his entering, though there was no embarrassed turn of her head, or flush of cheeks. Satisfied that Jane was not enamored of the Colonel, she turned her head and caught Mr. Darcy staring at her.

"Why do you stare, so?" She rebuked him in a hushed voice.

Mr. Darcy smiled, "I was merely trying to detect the true color of your eyes."

Before Elizabeth could respond Lady Catherine entered with her daughter, "Darcy, come here, you must escort Anne into dinner, I will take the Colonels arm."

Both men rose reluctantly to escort the ladies. Mr. Collins, though put out by being denied his pleasure of escorting Lady Catherine himself, gladly took his wife's arm. They were followed by Mr. Bennet and Jane, and behind them Mrs. Jenkinson. Once seated at the table conversation was reduced to topics which pleased Lady Catherine, to which Mr. Bennet took up his past time of goading her. Now that there were other spectators to his sport Elizabeth felt ashamed and wished she had told her Father not to behave badly this night. She noticed, however, that the Colonel was delighted with Mr. Bennet's antics and took up his own sport, though widening his net, trying to capture Mr. Collins as well.

During the conversation Elizabeth couldn't help but steal glances at Mr. Darcy, who seemed occupied with the repartee. How ridiculous he must think her husband! She suddenly felt very ashamed of him, and guilty at her thoughts at the same time. She mentally rebuked herself. What did she care for Mr. Darcy's approval? She never sought it, nor would she have readily accepted it if given.

After supper the women retired to the sitting room while the men remained behind. Lady Catherine chose to speak with Jane, who was a shy woman and mainly listened to what Lady Catherine had to say, which suited her Ladyship just fine. Elizabeth was asked to play at the piano and it was during the second song in which the men entered. Eyeing the Colonel, she noticed he went directly to Jane. She hit a discordant chord, causing the room to look in her direction. She mumbled an apology then continued playing. Unbeknownst to her Darcy had risen from his seat and made his way to the piano.

"Do you need assistance in turning the pages?" He asked.

Before Elizabeth could reply he had sat next to her, his body flush with her own, and, she thought, he breathed in the scent of her hair. Elizabeth looked up to make sure no one could see them, but all the others had their attention on Lady Catherine who was expounding on the virtues of rutabagas.

"I would like to return the bonnet your cousin sent my sister, but without others of my relation, or servants, knowing about it. Would that be possible?"

"Yes," Darcy said, his breath caressing her neck, setting the small hairs on her skin to tingling, "do you know the meadow that runs along the east side of my Aunt's estate?" Elizabeth nodded her head, "there is a path that runs along the meadow and into the woods. If you take that path up the incline you find yourself overlooking the meadow and Rosings."

"I know the place well," Elizabeth reassured him.

"Good, meet me there early tomorrow morning, say 7:00."

They had said no more to each other and soon she had finished the song.

"Has the song ended, then?" Lady Catherine's voice startled them.

Elizabeth glanced at Darcy, who immediately rose, "Yes, Aunt."

Darcy walked away from her, excused himself from his Aunt, and left the room. With Darcy gone Lady Catherine grew visibly tired with her guests, and made a pretense of being too tired to remain. The party from the Parsonage left, as always, in Lady Catherine's carriage. It was already dark out, when they arrived Mr. Bennet declared his own intentions of retiring for the night.

While her family was staying with her Mr. Collins and forgone his nightly visitations to her room, for which she was thankful for, especially that night. She had laid awake in bed thinking over her conversation with Mr. Darcy and her plans to meet him the next morning. She would have to inform Jane where she was going and what her errand was, but no one else need know. The destination Mr. Darcy told her was a good twenty minute walk, which meant she had better be ready by 6:30, well before Mr. Collins rose.

 _Soon_ , she thought, as she snuggled deeper under the covers, sleep slowly taking over, _we shall be rid of that bonnet._


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Here is the latest chapter! I hope you guys enjoy.

Chapter 14

The air was cool and crisp, with a low hanging mist hovering over the meadow. The birds in the tree were beginning to leave their nests on their daily search for food, filling the air with their music. Elizabeth had seen a few rabbits skittering along the path as she made her way to the predesignated spot where she was to meet Mr. Darcy. At times she carried the package in both arms, close to her chest, at others she grabbed it with one arm as she maneuvered her way around fallen logs and deep ruts. As she came to the spot where she had shared a lovely picnic with her sister she could see Mr. Darcy already there, gazing out across the meadow and towards the stately Rosings.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said, causing him to turn around.

He gave her a small smile, bowed his head, then walked toward her. She held the package out to him, which he took. "Lovely morning," he greeted her, "care to walk?"

With the package in one arm, he held the other out for her, to which she took.

"I am sorry for my cousins carelessness," Darcy said as they meandered down the forested path. "He can be reckless and often forgets propriety. I attribute it to his time in the Army."

Elizabeth remained silent, unsure of how to respond; agreeing with Darcy and thereby insulting his cousin or disagreeing and arguably approving of his actions. No, best to remain silent.

"I understand you married in early January?" Darcy asked.

"Yes," Elizabeth replied, "it was a short engagement."

Darcy cleared his throat, surreptitiously pulling her closer to him, "Yes, Miss Bingley gave us the news while we were in London."

Elizabeth looked up and could see a frown upon Darcy's face. She wondered what could possibly have made him upset.

"One might say it is an advantageous match," she observed.

Darcy turned to her, "Do you say so?"

Elizabeth blushed, "I _must_ say so."

Looking at her quizzically, Darcy continued, "I confess, I had no inkling as to your partiality for him. It came as a shock to us all."

"You keep referring to this 'all.' Of whom do you speak?"

Darcy sniffed, "Bingley, myself, Miss Bingley, Mr. and Mrs. Hurst, and my sister, Georgiana were present."

"And Miss Bingley related to you all the good news of my marriage? News she herself received from a letter, perhaps, my sister Jane wrote to her?"

"Yes, she seemed quite amused by it."

Elizabeth fumed inside, "My sister was in London before coming here, since the wedding. That is most likely when she would have written the letter. Did Miss Bingley relate that news as well?"

Darcy blushed, "I do not recall...perhaps not."

They continued on in silence, walking further away from their original meeting place until the path rounded to the main road. Elizabeth gave her farewell to Darcy, mentioning how her husband would be wondering where she was, and hurried away from him, her heart beating furiously in her chest.

"I can hardly believe we have been here nearly five weeks," Jane said over breakfast as soon as Elizabeth took her seat.

"Indeed," Mr. Bennet agreed, "time seems to have flown by."

"I do hope you have both enjoyed your stay," Mr. Collins smiled over his toast and ham. "Elizabeth and I have endeavored to make your stay as enjoyable as could be. Lady Catherine seemed quite taken with you, Mr. Bennet, and you as well, Miss Bennet."

"I have also enjoyed my time with her ladyship. She is quite entertaining."

"Indeed," Collins agreed, "though most people will say she is proud she is merely trying to keep the distinction of class, something that seems to be falling by the wayside."

"Yes, well, a few days time and Jane and I will have to be on our way home. I would enjoy a walk, my dears, if you would permit me to intrude on your morning ritual."

"Of course," Jane smiled.

Elizabeth had not been alone with Mr. Darcy since their walk the morning she returned the bonnet. He was everywhere present, though; catching her and her sister or Father on their walks, sometimes in company with Colonel Fitzwilliam, other times alone, offering to help her at the piano, etc... When news of Mr. Bennet and Miss Bennet's soon departure was brought up Lady Catherine made her displeasure known, declaring Jane a fine girl, who, if she stayed 'til summer, could be introduced to any number of eligible and appropriate bachelors who were now away.

Jane had blushed.

"Aunt," Colonel Fitwilliam admonished, "Miss Bennet does not need to be paraded around the neighborhood like a cow at auction."

"Oh, Richard, you vex me," Lady Catherine cried, "that is not what I meant at all."

Lady Catherine then gave a lecture on the proper way to pack a trunk, to which both Jane and Elizabeth had a good laugh at later. The laughter didn't last, however, for the day of departure had arrived and saw Elizabeth crying over her Father and sister. Collins did his best to console his wife, but his efforts were useless.

"Remember, Father," Elizabeth said pointedly.

"Yes, yes," Mr. Bennet gave his daughter a kiss, told Collins to take very good care of his daughter, then informed the driver to get on with it.

Collins sighed, "A visit from family is nice, though I do enjoy having our home to ourselves again." He then made his way into the house, leaving his wife watching the carriage drive away, wondering if she would ever get the chance to see her Father again.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I've been preparing to turn this fic into a series following the love lies of various women in Pride and Prejudice. Let me know if that sounds intriguing. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I know I did!

*Update: I've reworked this chapter since first publishing in order to show Elizabeth falling in love with Mr. Darcy.

Chapter 15

"I am sorry I have not been to visit," Elizabeth apologized to Mrs. Cosgrove, both of them industriously employed mending shirts in the small parlor of the Cosgrove cottage.

"I understand, dear," she waved off the apology. "Your time was taken up with your family, as it should be."

Elizabeth smiled, and continued with the shirt she was mending, content with listening to Mrs. Cosgrove go over her latest scheme in keeping her son home and how it was working on him. Elizabeth felt a deep heartache at the thought of losing one of her own children, if she ever did have one. It had been nearly four months since her marriage and still no signs of a babe. Mrs. Cosgrove was the only person with whom Elizabeth felt comfortable enough to relate her woes, but she was reassured that these things take time. She would sometimes recommend certain foods to be eaten or positions one must make during and after copulation to help the process, and though Elizabeth tried everything, there were no results.

Towards late afternoon she regretfully took her leave of Mrs. Cosgrove and began her journey back home, a place she was growing to view with disappointment. She recalled her once adamant refusal to marry without the deepest love and respect. Necessity had practically forced her into the arms of Mr. Collins, and though he was a good man and provider, she neither loved, or respected him. The years stretched before her, an image of herself tethered to Mr. Collins, with nothing to break up the monotony, not even a child.

As she left the lane and entered the main road she saw a man atop a horse approaching her. She immediately recognized Mr. Darcy and tried to make herself as invisible as possible so that he would pass her by.

"Mrs. Collins."

No such luck.

After her Father and sister had left, the next week found her often in Mr. Darcy's company. At first she found she could not refuse him, thinking perhaps the slight would reach Lady Catherine and somehow reflect poorly on herself and her husband. Then, as the days passed, she found she began to look forward to their walks together.

Alone, without others to view him, Mr. Darcy seemed to open up to her, like a flower slowly unfurling its petals to embrace the suns warmth. His conversation was intelligent, up to date, and often times witty. The stark contrast between the Mr. Darcy a mere week ago, and the Mr. Darcy she knew now was astonishing. He spoke often of his sister, asking her advice on certain topics, and seemed to genuinely care when Elizabeth related her own concerns about her family.

Elizabeth had tried to explain the giddiness she felt whenever she saw him was that of a friend, but was made to realize she never had these feelings for Charlotte Lucas. Yesterday, as Mr. Darcy and her were walking a wooded path that stretched between Rosings and a neighboring estate, she suddenly realized she had fallen in love with him. The thought struck her as if she had been slapped, the pain coursing through her body. She had stopped, and when Mr. Darcy turned to ask if she had caught a pebble in her shoe she shook her head, and continued on the path as quickly as possible in order to run from this man whom she suddenly cared about.

When she returned home she shut herself in her room, indulged in a few moments of heartache, and what-if's, then resolved to never be alone in Mr. Darcy's company again. Alas, such resolves, made in the heat of the moment, often times dissolve away in the heat of another moment.

"Good afternoon," she curtsied.

"Nearly evening," he replied, casting his eyes up at the rosy horizon where the sun was beginning its descent.

"I am on my way home now," she explained.

"Allow me to escort you," he dismounted his horse and held his left arm out for her to take, the other keeping a loose grip on his horses' reins. "What say you to watching the sunset over the hill?" He asked, gazing at her face.

Elizabeth searched his eyes, which on the surface remained as a calm pool of water, but felt instinctively below the surface was a whirlpool threatening to pull her under.

"I do not know if that would be wise," she said, feeling her pulse quicken.

"Have you ever seen the sun set over the meadow?" He enticed.

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. His gaze lingered on her mouth, the whirlpool in his eyes darkening.

"It is lovely, but if we do not hurry will be missed."

Elizabeth gave a great sigh. If she returned home she knew exactly what to expect; a perfunctory meal, dull conversation, and her husband's nightly visit. She felt a rush within her, a mad yearning for something she couldn't name, something she felt sure Mr. Darcy could give her, or at least explain to her.

She nodded her head, Mr. Darcy grinned, and quickened his pace. They met no one on the road, to which she was thankful, and soon they were off the road away from any prying eyes. As they exited the trees and came upon the spot that overlooked the meadow, the sun was casting out golden rays of light, spilling rosy/purplish cascades of color along the clouds. Elizabeth had disengaged Mr. Darcy's arm as she strode closer to the spectacle before her, astonished at the display of light and color.

"Beautiful," Mr. Darcy's hushed voice came from behind.

She turned her head and was vaguely aware that he must have tied his horse up somewhere, for both his hands were free. The sunset reflected in his eyes, giving way to more dimension than she had ever seen before from this man, an expression on his face she had ever only dreamed of. It was not lost on her that when he said 'beautiful' he had not been looking at the sky, but at herself.

She cast her head down, her beating heart pounding within her as if desperate to leap out of her chest and into Mr. Darcy's hands. What would he do with her heart, she wondered. Would he treat it kindly, caress it, say sweet things to it? Would he lock it away in a box, giving it only a passing glance now and then? Or would he throw it back at her, declaring it useless to him? She had thought, when she married, that she was giving nothing up by keeping her heart to herself, safe within her own chest, but she suddenly wanted to show it to Mr. Darcy, have him study it.

She felt his gloved hand come up to her chin, lifting her head, forcing her to look into his face, his eyes searching her own, desperately plunging deeper into her soul. She knew exactly what he was seeking but felt hesitant to give. She was married! He was beyond her reach! A thousand and one reasons all at once came to her, but she pushed them away as she slowly nodded her head in acquiescence.

Without further thought he had cupped her face gently between his hands, lowering his mouth onto hers, a gentle kiss, searching, probing, an explorer taking its time surveying a newly claimed land. His mouth grew rhythmic on her own, daring to journey along her jaw line to her ear, down her neck, down, down to where her dress hemmed in her bosom. She sighed at his touch feeling the sun's golden rays enter her body, filling her up with light, a heady feeling as if she had drunk too much wine. His hands, no longer encompassing her face, began to roam freely over her body, resting finally on her hips, squeezing, kneading the flesh beneath her dress.

With a slight hesitation she brought her own hands up to his face, feeling the scruff of his facial growth rub against her exposed wrists. She cast her gloves off so that she could feel the texture of his hair which was smooth and fine. His head was bent as he trailed kisses along her decolletage and in front of her was his ear. She began to kiss along his neck until she was at his ear and hearing a deep groan emanate from deep within his chest, she smiled, then kissed him some more.

"Elizabeth," he murmured as he brought his mouth to her own ear, the fact he used her Christian name not lost on her. "Elizabeth, please, I need you."

Her eyes widened at the implication, and a coldness entered her blood. "Mr. Darcy," she tried pulling away but she was held firmly in his arms.

"Elizabeth," he groaned, holding her tighter to him, afraid she would run away. "Do not run from me."

The haziness from before was beginning to clear in her mind, and she suddenly thought about what would happen if someone had caught them. She would be ruined. Mr. Collins would have every right to cast her away. She wondered if her family would take her in, or if they would refuse her asylum. What did ruined women do to survive?

But then, suddenly, she saw her future before her, years of being Mr. Collins wife, no passion, little respect, day after day, until finally she regarded Mr. Collins with the same indifference her Father viewed her Mother. She shut her eyes tight, trying to block out the images of both scenarios.

"What worries you?" Mr. Darcy had loosened his hold on her having noticed her face, pinched in concern.

She opened her eyes to the display of concern over his own features. "I do not think we should be here."

Mr. Darcy frowned, "You were not meant to marry that man," he declared passionately. "The heat between us, just now...have you ever felt that with him?"

Elizabeth shook her head.

"Elizabeth, please, I need you..." the pleading in his eyes was palpable. "Meet me here at midnight...please?"

Elizabeth looked around and at once noticed the sun had already set and evening shadows were converging over the land. She licked her lips, wondering what she should do.

"I will be here at midnight...if you are not here I have your answer and will no longer bother you."

Elizabeth, afraid to speak, merely nodded her head, then left him, slowly making her way back to her house, back to her loveless marriage, for that is what she knew it was. Loveless, passionless, almost entirely without respect. She had thought she could cool off, make her decision once she was alone in her room, but deep within she knew already what her answer was to be, and knew she would meet Mr. Darcy at midnight, come what may.

Chapter 15

"I am sorry I have not been to visit," Elizabeth apologized to Mrs. Cosgrove, both of them industriously employed mending shirts in the small parlor of the Cosgrove cottage.

"I understand, dear," she waved off the apology. "Your time was taken up with your family, as it should be."

Elizabeth smiled, and continued with the shirt she was mending, content with listening to Mrs. Cosgrove go over her latest scheme in keeping her son home and how it was working on him. Elizabeth felt a deep heartache at the thought of losing one of her own children, if she ever did have one. It had been nearly four months since her marriage and still no signs of a babe. Mrs. Cosgrove was the only person with whom Elizabeth felt comfortable enough to relate her woes, but she was reassured that these things take time. She would sometimes recommend certain foods to be eaten or positions one must make during and after copulation to help the process, and though Elizabeth tried everything, there were no results.

Towards late afternoon she regretfully took her leave of Mrs. Cosgrove and began her journey back home, a place she was growing to view with disappointment. She recalled her once adamant refusal to marry without the deepest love and respect. Necessity had practically forced her into the arms of Mr. Collins, and though he was a good man and provider, she neither loved, or respected him. The years stretched before her, an image of herself tethered to Mr. Collins, with nothing to break up the monotony, not even a child.

As she left the lane and entered the main road she saw a man atop a horse approaching her. She immediately recognized Mr. Darcy and tried to make herself as invisible as possible so that he would pass her by.

"Mrs. Collins."

No such luck.

"Good afternoon," she curtsied.

"Nearly evening," he replied, casting his eyes up at the rosy horizon where the sun was beginning its descent.

"I am on my way home now," she explained.

"Allow me to escort you," he dismounted his horse and held his left arm out for her to take, the other keeping a loose grip on his horses' reins.

They walked in peaceful silence for a few moments before Mr. Darcy asked how she was doing now her Father and sister were gone.

"I confess I wish them back," she said.

His arm flexed, bringing her closer to him.

"What say you to watching the sunset over the hill?" He asked, gazing at her face.

Elizabeth searched his eyes, which on the surface remained as a calm pool of water, but felt instinctively below the surface was a whirlpool threatening to pull her under.

"I do not know if that would be wise," she said, feeling her pulse quicken.

"Have you ever seen the sun set over the meadow?" He enticed.

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip. His gaze lingered on her mouth, the whirlpool in his eyes darkening.

"It is lovely, but if we do not hurry will be missed."

Elizabeth gave a great sigh. If she returned home she knew exactly what to expect; a perfunctory meal, dull conversation, and her husband's nightly visit. She felt a rush within her, a mad yearning for something she couldn't name, something she felt sure Mr. Darcy could give her, or at least explain to her.

She nodded her head, Mr. Darcy grinned, and quickened his pace. They met no one on the road, to which she was thankful, and soon they were off the road away from any prying eyes. As they exited the trees and came upon the spot that overlooked the meadow, the sun was casting out golden rays of light, spilling rosy/purplish cascades of color along the clouds. Elizabeth had disengaged Mr. Darcy's arm as she strode closer to the spectacle before her, astonished at the display of light and color.

"Beautiful," Mr. Darcy's hushed voice came from behind.

She turned her head and was vaguely aware that he must have tied his horse up somewhere, for both his hands were free. The sunset reflected in his eyes, giving way to more dimension than she had ever seen before from this man, an expression on his face she had ever only dreamed of. It was not lost on her that when he said 'beautiful' he had not been looking at the sky, but at herself.

She cast her head down, her beating heart pounding within her as if desperate to leap out of her chest and into Mr. Darcy's hands. What would he do with her heart, she wondered. Would he treat it kindly, caress it, say sweet things to it? Would he lock it away in a box, giving it only a passing glance now and then? Or would he throw it back at her, declaring it useless to him? She had thought, when she married, that she was giving nothing up by keeping her heart to herself, safe within her own chest, but she suddenly wanted to show it to Mr. Darcy, have him study it.

She felt his gloved hand come up to her chin, lifting her head, forcing her to look into his face, his eyes searching her own, desperately plunging deeper into her soul. She knew exactly what he was seeking but felt hesitant to give. She was married! He was beyond her reach! A thousand and one reasons all at once came to her, but she pushed them away as she slowly nodded her head in acquiescence.

Without further thought he had cupped her face gently between his hands, lowering his mouth onto hers, a gentle kiss, searching, probing, an explorer taking its time surveying a newly claimed land. His mouth grew rhythmic on her own, daring to journey along her jaw line to her ear, down her neck, down, down to where her dress hemmed in her bosom. She sighed at his touch feeling the sun's golden rays enter her body, filling her up with light, a heady feeling as if she had drunk too much wine. His hands, no longer encompassing her face, began to roam freely over her body, resting finally on her hips, squeezing, kneading the flesh beneath her dress.

With a slight hesitation she brought her own hands up to his face, feeling the scruff of his facial growth rub against her exposed wrists. She cast her gloves off so that she could feel the texture of his hair which was smooth and fine. His head was bent as he trailed kisses along her decolletage and in front of her was his ear. She began to kiss along his neck until she was at his ear and hearing a deep groan emanate from deep within his chest, she smiled, then kissed him some more.

"Elizabeth," he murmured as he brought his mouth to her own ear, the fact he used her Christian name not lost on her. "Elizabeth, please, I need you."

Her eyes widened at the implication, and a coldness entered her blood. "Mr. Darcy," she tried pulling away but she was held firmly in his arms.

"Elizabeth," he groaned, holding her tighter to him, afraid she would run away. "Do not run from me."

The haziness from before was beginning to clear in her mind, and she suddenly thought about what would happen if someone had caught them. She would be ruined. Mr. Collins would have every right to cast her away. She wondered if her family would take her in, or if they would refuse her asylum. What did ruined women do to survive?

But then, suddenly, she saw her future before her, years of being Mr. Collins wife, no passion, little respect, day after day, until finally she regarded Mr. Collins with the same indifference her Father viewed her Mother. She shut her eyes tight, trying to block out the images of both scenarios.

"What worries you?" Mr. Darcy had loosened his hold on her having noticed her face, pinched in concern.

She opened her eyes to the display of concern over his own features. "I do not think we should be here."

Mr. Darcy frowned, "You were not meant to marry that man," he declared passionately. "The heat between us, just now...have you ever felt that with him?"

Elizabeth shook her head.

"Elizabeth, please, I need you..." the pleading in his eyes was palpable. "Meet me here at midnight...please?"

Elizabeth looked around and at once noticed the sun had already set and evening shadows were converging over the land. She licked her lips, wondering what she should do.

"I will be here at midnight...if you are not here I have your answer and will no longer bother you."

Elizabeth, afraid to speak, merely nodded her head, then left him, slowly making her way back to her house, back to her loveless marriage, for that is what she knew it was. Loveless, passionless, almost entirely without respect. She had thought she could cool off, make her decision once she was alone in her room, but deep within she knew already what her answer was to be, and knew she would meet Mr. Darcy at midnight, come what may.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I realize that it seems Elizabeth and Darcy being together may seem a sudden thing. In my editing I shall try to show some interaction between the two of them which will explain their growing fondness for the other, but you must understand that Darcy was already half in love with her before he left Netherfield, at this same time in the original he proposes to her! Elizabeth in mine has not heard Wickham's lies, and therefore the only thing she can hold against him is her supposition that he pushed Bingley away from Jane, something she does not know as fact.

Chapter 16

The meal was eaten with her husband asking how her day had been. She mentioned staying with Mrs. Cosgrove, but dared speak no further. Afterwards they retired to the sitting room and Collins began reciting from his sermon he had been working on, a topic Lady Catherine had mentioned to him. It seemed all Collins' sermons were related to topics Lady Catherine held dear to her heart. Elizabeth studied his features as he read to her, noting his thinning hair, his long, babyish face, his rounded middle. Heat flushed her body as she thought of Mr. Darcy in contrast to Collins. She had never felt that heat with her husband and wondered if it were something usually absent from the marriage bed.

As they walked up the stairs Elizabeth mentioned having a headache, hoping he would take the hint and not visit her. He patted her hand, kissed her forehead, and said he hoped she felt better in the morning.

A sudden shame crept over her as she closed the door behind her. He was kind to her, if not passionate. He had never said a cruel word to her or treated her cruelly. How could she contemplate having an _affaire de coeur_?

She lay in bed, thus, trying to talk herself out of doing this unspeakable thing, but when she heard the clock strike 11:30 she quietly rose from her bed, as if some unseen force were directing her, dressed herself, and crept quietly out of the house. No one had heard her, and she met no resistance as she made her way to the prearranged destination.

The night air was cool, the sounds around her much different than those during the day. Great pools of shadow lay upon the road and she tried skirting them, afraid of what might be lurking there. Her heart skipped several beats every time she heard a rustling in the bushes, or thought perhaps she had seen someone or something peeking out from the dark shadows. Finally, she arrived at the spot where only a few hours earlier she had kissed and been kissed by Mr. Darcy.

Darcy was waiting for her with his horse nearby. She came to him, stood before him, offering herself silently to him. Without a word he helped her up on the horse, then climbed up behind her. He set his horse in motion, going at a considerable speed, through the brambles and trees, down a darkened road, dismounting to open gates as they made their way further onto Rosings lands. They passed through a small wood before they came upon a clearing with an abandoned cottage in the center.

He directed the horse towards the back and dismounted, then helped Elizabeth down. As she stood before him he took her in his arms, hanging onto her as if she were anchoring him to this world. He stepped back, took her by the hand, and led her inside.

The cottage smelled of dust, mold and the general air of disuse. "This is the cottage my cousin told you about," he answered the question in her eyes. "It has not been lived in for over a year." He led her through the back kitchen and down a hall into a bedroom. There were a few pieces of furniture left, table, some chairs, a nightstand, but nothing else. The room he led her to was dark and she could not make out anything within for the window was shuttered and let in no light. Suddenly a small flame appeared and Darcy began lighting candles which had been placed around the room.

The effect was magnificent. Elizabeth immediately felt as if she had been transported to the heavens and was now resting among the stars. She turned her body, trying to take in all the room at once. Darcy strode slowly to her, his features relaxed, his lips smiling. She had never seen him so handsome. He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his head until their lips met. He placed the gentlest kiss on her mouth. It had been a chilly night, but the both of them together, surrounded by the candles, didn't feel a bit cold.

He lowered her to the nest of blankets in the center of the room that he had prepared and made love to her, awakening sensations within her body she didn't know were possible. She felt, for the first time in a long while, completely alive. He was tender with her, slowly educating her on the act of romantic lovemaking and she a willing pupil. It wasn't long before she began exploring his own body, which was in direct contrast to her own. Where she was softness and curves, he was hardness and edged, like a sculptor. When they were both spent he draped his body over her own to help keep her warm, and began playing with the curls of her hair.

"Oh, Elizabeth, I have imagined doing that for quite a while," he whispered into her hair.

She smiled and turned to him, his face lit up with the most beautiful grin. "I must confess I too have been thinking of you."

A sudden sadness clouded his eyes, "I must leave soon."

The words echoed within the silence, bouncing within her head. What had she expected? He could not stay here, he had other demands on his time; a large estate, business, his sister. Of course he would leave, but this night she would forever cherish.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Would that be wise?" She wondered if they dared to.

"I must see you again, please say you'll come again. We could meet tomorrow night, again, and come here."

She turned her head away so that he would not see her indecision. "When do you leave?"

Darcy shifted so that he loomed over her, his hand caressing her bare shoulder, kissing where her skin turned to goose flesh. "Three days my cousin and I leave for London. I have already stayed longer than I usually do."

Elizabeth bit her lip, nodding her head. Darcy smiled, kissed her mouth, and she felt his arousal grow large along the back of her thigh. It wasn't long before he was making love to her again, this time faster and she relished at the sensation of his body on top of her own, his focus on her and her alone, the lights reflecting in his eyes like a thousand twinkling stars.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I realize that it seems Elizabeth and Darcy being together may seem a sudden thing. In my editing I shall try to show some interaction between the two of them which will explain their growing fondness for the other, but you must understand that Darcy was already half in love with her before he left Netherfield, at this same time in the original he proposes to her! Elizabeth in mine has not heard Wickham's lies, and therefore the only thing she can hold against him is her supposition that he pushed Bingley away from Jane, something she does not know as fact.

***Edit to chapter to depict time passing.

Chapter 17

Elizabeth was sure Mr. Collins would somehow divine her actions the previous night merely by looking at her over the table the next morning during their morning meal. Surely she was a different woman from before? Did it not show in her countenance for all to see? Mr. Collins did not know, and proceeded with his toast and eggs, unaware of his wife's furtive looks.

When she came upon Mr. Darcy and the Colonel that afternoon she wondered if Darcy had told his cousin what had transpired. She looked for hints in every speech, but could find none. Once she was satisfied that her secret was safe with Darcy, she wondered at his taciturn features as they strolled together, the Colonel supplying most of the conversation.

That night she teased him about it after they had made love. She ran her finger over his mouth, questioned him why he wore such a stern expression when around others.

"My Father died when I was just out of school, and though I had been educated on how to handle Pemberley, the enormous responsibility weighed on my shoulders. I felt if I gave in to any sort of childish whim it would all come crumbling down so I remained serious at all times."

Elizabeth frowned, "I am sorry."

Darcy turned to her and kissed her, "It is kind of you to worry over me, but that is all in the past."

The next night was the same, meeting at the abandoned cottage, making love to each other and then laying next to each other, arms and legs intertwined, talking about anything and everything they could think of.

"Would you like me to see you tomorrow before I leave?" He asked as they were dressing themselves.

Elizabeth had just put on her shift and stockings and was seated on the floor, looking up at Darcy. He had become so familiar to her, these nights they spent together, that she wondered why she had never taken the time to see him for who he really was. All his passion and virility, locked beneath a thin layer of control and self-discipline.

"I do not think I could handle it," she muttered, turning away so that he would not see her tears.

He knelt beside her, taking her into his arms, her back pressed against his chest, "Elizabeth," he murmured into her hair. "I wish events had been different."

She had told him about her Father's ill health being the reason she married Mr. Collins and he had confessed his fascination with her while he was at Netherfield.

"If only I had-" he was cut off by Elizabeth putting her finger to his lips.

"Please," she begged. "Do not speak of what may have happened...it would break me."

He nodded his head, kissed her lightly on the lips, then helped her finish dressing. She returned home that night and lay in bed going over every intimate encounter they had had. She wished to commit to memory every detail so that she might pull them forth for her to peruse in the future and have nothing left out.

"Mr. Darcy and the Colonel have left," Mr. Collins related the news to her the next afternoon.

Even though she had known he would be leaving, she still felt a tugging at her heart when she heard it.

"I hope they have a safe journey," she managed to say before she left the room.

The days slipped back into a regular routine; walking, visiting tenants and parishioners, dinner at Rosings. Her letters from home gave her great comfort, and as if to give herself penance, she tried harder to be a more caring wife to Mr. Collins. She made sure the house ran smoothly, that the house was quiet during the mornings while he read and prepared his sermons, his meals were his favorite, etc...

All the while she wondered what Mr. Darcy was doing. He had said he was going into London, news that had also reached Lady Catherine. "He will preparing for their marriage, I suspect." She had mentioned. Elizabeth glanced over at Anne and frowned. Anne would never bring him happiness, not the way she could have. She wondered what his sister was like, if she was anything like her brother or if she were morel like Lady Catherine.

One morning, a some weeks later, as Elizabeth was rising from bed, she felt a wave of nausea roll over her. She wretched into the chamber pot then called for Jenny to take it from her. She felt her forehead, a light sheen of sweat covering it, but no fever. With sudden realization she counted the days that had passed since her last cycle.

"I am late," she muttered to the empty room. She slowly lifted her hand to her abdomen, resting it on the cotton gown and rubbed. A smile played at her lips and tears filled her eyes. "I am going to have a baby!"

Elizabeth sat on the bed and tried to picture what her baby would look like. She held this news to herself like at treasure, a secret she wished to keep to herself just a little while longer. What harm could it do, if she waited a few days before telling Mr. Collins? He would surely tell Lady Catherine, who would, no doubt, be full of recommendations on which midwife to choose, etc... No, her baby would be her own for a while, and no one else's.

She could not keep the news for long. She soon realized that morning sickness was a misnomer, for she was sick at all hours of the day. When she ran from the room after breaking her fast Mr. Collins had followed her, concern etched into his features.

"My dear," he said from behind her door, listening to her wretch into her chamber pot. "Are you well?"

She opened the door to her husband, "I am with child." She told him.

Mr. Collins was shocked, at first. Then the realization that he would be having a child swept through him and he picked her up and squeezed her tightly to his chest. "Are you sure?" She nodded her head and begged to be put down before she was sick again.

"Oh, my dear, yes, of course, I must..." he ran down the hall, halted at the stairs, then ran back to her, "I need to," he turned to his room but stopped outside his door, "I do not know what to do."

Elizabeth laughed, "Do not worry yourself, Mr. Collins, you shall have nothing to do until the babe arrives. In the meantime I do believe I should like to rest."

"Oh, yes, of course." He helped his wife into her bed, pulled the covers over her and kissed her cheek. "Ring if you need me."

It wasn't until her mind was cloudy with sleep she had a horrible realization. She had spent three months with her husband with no results. She had spent three nights with Mr. Darcy and now she was pregnant. There was a very strong possibility this baby she carried within her could be Mr. Darcy's child, and not her husband's. The thought both pleased and terrified her.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I understand I am taking liberties with Jane Austen's characters, but this is after all a fanfiction. I gave sufficient warning in the beginning of the story of the affair that was going to happen, I even put it in my title. I am sorry if some of you are disappointed, but there it is. I am trying to depict a time in which women had little to no freedom, especially women with no money. Elizabeth's only chance at freedom is to marry well, and facing certain poverty my Elizabeth chooses to marry Collins for stability. However, Lizzy is a passionate person and when those passions are ignited by Darcy she takes a huge risk to be with him, even if for a little while. Affairs happened in regency times, quite a lot actually, so it's not that huge of a stretch to believe someone like Elizabeth could have one.

I would also like to reiterate that Darcy and Elizabeth will get a HEA, but it won't happen any time soon.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Oh, and to the reviewer who mentioned that time lapse from when Darcy left to when Elizabeth gets morning sickness, it has been some weeks. I'll try to remember to go back and make that plainer.

Chapter 18

 _Three Months Later_

Longbourn, as it shifted from Spring to Summer, was the most beautiful place in the country-at least Elizabeth thought so. The meadow grass was a bright green with beautiful wild flowers poking out like red, blue and yellow paint brushes. The skies were such a startling shade of blue it hurt ones eyes to stare at it too long. The cool breezes mixed with the suns warmth was a most wonderful sensation on her skin. She closed her eyes and just breathed it in.

When she had heard from Jane that Mr. Bingley had returned to Netherfield she knew how it would turn out. The letter had come from Jane, though she refused to admit any expectations on her part. The fact that he did not bring his sister to keep house spoke volumes to his desire to host or be hosted. "Perhaps he is just trying to get out of his lease," Jane's words on the page seemed to falter. But Elizabeth knew better.

"My dear" she said over breakfast one morning, letter in hand, "Jane is to be married to Mr. Bingley in early June." She had said it triumphantly, as if to remind him of his rebuke against Jane trying to catch Colonel Fitzwilliam's eye. Mr. Bingley was a bigger, better catch!

Mr. Collins looked up from his ham, eyes wide, "Indeed? That is marvelous."

It didn't take much for Elizabeth to convince her husband to let her visit her family for the wedding. Jane and Elizabeth had been so close growing up, more than mere sisters. How could she not attend her sister's wedding? Permission was granted, and Elizabeth arrived a week before the blessed event.

Returning to Longbourn as a guest unsettled her that first evening. She had been led to the much fussed over guest room, which, like the room at the Parsonage, was reserved for distinguished guests. The very room Mr. Collins had occupied when he had first visited. She had laid down that first night in the strange bed, and wondered why her Mother hadn't put her in her old room? It wasn't until the next morning she discovered Lydia had claimed it as her own after she left, and was therefore occupied.

Jane and Elizabeth spent the entire morning the next day wandering the gardens of Longbourn, exchanging news and gossip. The story of Mr. Bingley returning was re-told.

"Lizzy, he just came to the house one morning, unannounced. He asked to speak with Papa and they spent a considerable amount of time together, then he asked if I might show him the spring flowers and then, when we were alone, he asked me to marry him, apologizing for leaving so abruptly."

Elizabeth had a feeling Jane was only too ready to forgive him. She knew if she herself were in the same situation she wouldn't let him off so easy. The sisters then returned to the house where Jane showed Elizabeth her dress, which was beautifully done in the latest fashion.

Mr. Bingley had been invited that evening for dinner. He asked after Elizabeth's health and that of her husband. "I saw Darcy in town and he mentioned visiting with you during his visit to Rosings."

Elizabeth felt her cheeks warm, but forced herself to remain calm. The mention of Mr. Darcy's name startled her and she tried hiding behind her napkin until she was composed.

"Yes," she finally replied, "he was visiting with his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam. Such a pleasant man."

"Yes, indeed," Mr. Bingley cast a glance at Jane, "I have heard how charming he can be."

 _Shocking!_ Elizabeth thought. _Could that be the reason Mr. Bingley returned? Mr. Darcy must have told him how taken the Colonel was with Jane and possibly in a fit of jealousy returned before he or anyone else could claim her hand._ Elizabeth smirked.

Mrs. Bennet began talking, for no conversation was complete with out her input, and began badgering Mr. Bingley with questions on when he would make a purchase of Netherfield, instead of merely leasing it. She threw out a few other estates in the neighborhood that would do just as well, if not better, for them. When Mr. Bingley gave the slightest hint that he might look in the North for an estate, Mrs. Bennet nearly exploded.

"My dear," Mr. Bennet tried to calm her down, "this noise if giving me a headache."

Mrs. Bennet immediately stopped, pursed her lips, and continued eating in sullen silence. Elizabeth looked questioningly at Jane, who shook her head slightly. After the meal was finished and Mr. Bingley took his leave, Jane crept into Elizabeth's room to explain.

"Papa has somehow convinced Mama that his 'headaches' could suddenly cause him to...expire. We have all been looking out for his health since he revealed how ill he was."

"Really?" Elizabeth mused. "How clever of Papa."

s-S-s

"Oh look," Kitty pointed toward the road, "here comes Mr. Bingley and another man."

The girls were out in the garden gathering flowers for the bouquets and garlands to festoon the house. Lydia, however, was inside sulking. She had been invited, by Mrs. Forster herself, to spend the summer at Brighton where the militia were to camp for the Summer. First Mr. Bennet refused her, and after going to her Mother, she refused her as well. "You cannot leave at this time. I need you here at Longbourn and you are to accompany me to Hunsford when Lizzy enters her confinement!"

"It is Mr. Darcy," Mary observed, shading her eyes with her gloved hand.

Elizabeth dropped her shears at the mention of Mr. Darcy's name and turned. It was him. She quickly bent down to retrieve her shears before anyone noticed, then continued cutting flowers, all the while trying to still her beating heart.

"Lizzy!" Jane shook her, "come inside."

Elizabeth knew she would most likely be meeting Mr. Darcy again. He had been invited to the wedding, along with his sister. She looked at the men dismounting as the girls were coming upon them by the front door.

"Good afternoon!" Bingley called brightly, handing his reins to the servant.

The girls curtsied. Jane invited the men inside for refreshment, Bingley taking Jane's arm, Darcy taking Elizabeth's, the other girls trailing after. Tea was served, and talk of the guests arriving at Netherfield commenced. Bingley's family had arrived, his Mother and two other sisters, along with an Uncle, his Father's brother. Mr. Darcy and his sister had also arrived that morning, and some other friends of his from London.

"Are they married?" Mrs. Bennet asked, who had joined them.

Nearly spitting her tea out, Elizabeth gave her mother such a look.

"Ah, no, Jennings and Thompson are not married." Bingley replied.

"I suppose you have heard the good news?" Mrs. Bennet asked of Mr. Darcy.

"Good news?" He questioned.

"Yes, did not Bingley tell you that our Lizzy will soon have a child?"

Now Elizabeth did spit her tea out, thankfully most of it going into her cup. She wiped at her mouth, desperately trying not to look in Darcy's direction.

"That is wonderful news," she heard him say before excusing himself.

"I must say," Mrs. Bennet declared once he had left the room. "I wonder at you befriending such a disagreeable man."

In the awkwardness that ensued Elizabeth excused herself, sedately walking out of the room, but once out of eyesight she ran out the front door just in time to see Darcy mount his horse. He had been about to ride off when he saw her and how he longed to go to her, to take her in his arms. He cast a wary glance at the servant who was returning to his duties in the stables, then up at the house and its many windows.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said, hoping to keep him there a bit longer to feast her eyes on his face, his hands, his hair, everything about him.

Darcy cleared his throat, "Mrs. Collins." There was short pause. "And when is your babe expected?"

Elizabeth hesitated before saying, "Late December, or early January." She could see him figuring the numbers in his head.

"Indeed" He asked, eyes wide, knowing he had discovered her secret. "Elizabeth," Darcy looked around to make sure there were no prying ears to hear, "is the babe mine?"

Elizabeth's cheeks flushed. She looked down at her hands, nodding her head. Afraid of what his reaction might be she slowly looked up. His mouth was drawn into a taught line, his eyes appeared to be on fire.

"No one knows or suspects," she continued, hoping he would take her hint. Though she doubted Mr. Darcy would have proposed stealing her away from her husband and setting her up as his Mistress, she needed to make it abundantly clear that was not the future she wanted for herself.

"I see," he bade her goodbye, then without another word, mounted his horse and rode on to Netherfield.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: A short chapter, I know, and I missed posting on Monday, but my kids had the day off. Have fun reading and please review!

Chapter 19

"Mrs. Collins, may I introduce Miss Darcy," Mr. Bingley said as a willowy girl, not quite a woman, stood before her.

Elizabeth curtsied, "How do you do?"

"I am well," Miss Darcy looked shyly up, then over towards Mr. Bingley.

"Miss Darcy plays the piano forte quite well, I should think the two of you could talk for hours about different sonatas, arias, and the such." Mr. Bingley gave Miss Darcy an encouraging smile, then left them alone.

"I never could understand why men thought that because two woman happened to share a talent or interest, that they would get on well." Elizabeth said to break the silence, to which Miss Darcy blushed. "There are a number of women who play better than I, though we do not get on together at all. But enough talk of men, shall we take a stroll?"

Miss Darcy nodded her head and the two of them took one of the garden paths. There were tables set up on the lawn overflowing with food and punch. It was such a warm day and perfect for a picnic. The wedding was to be tomorrow and Mr. Bingley had insisted on hosting a party at Netherfield. Mrs. Bennet had gushed at what a generous son-in-law she was gaining and hoped to look forward to more such parties at Netherfield in the future. Over in a shaded corner of the garden stood Miss Bingley, looking on is disapproval. Elizabeth had noted the absence of Mrs. Hurst and had been informed she had taken her lying in and was expecting their first child soon.

"It is a beautiful garden," Miss Darcy said as they strolled through the fragrant flowers and roses.

"Yes," Elizabeth agreed, "though I have it on good authority that your home far surpasses Netherfield."

Miss Darcy blushed, refusing to answer in either the affirmative or negative, which only made Elizabeth like her more.

"Do you have any favorite pieces?" Elizabeth asked, referring back to their previous topic of music.

"Oh yes, I do enjoy opera pieces, though have not yet mastered the art of singing while playing. I have heard that you play well and would love to hear you."

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to blush, "You have?"

"Yes, my brother," Miss Darcy looked toward her brother who was speaking with a guest of Mr. Bingley's, "he has mentioned hearing you play on a number of occasions and says you are quite good."

"I am afraid your brother exaggerates," Elizabeth looked away, trying to cool her face.

"Oh, my brother never exaggerates," Miss Darcy stressed.

They continued their stroll speaking of Miss Darcy's life; her lessons in London, her upcoming Season, etc... They made the full circle of the garden twice, and both agreed that a rest was due them.

"I see you have been introduced," Mr. Darcy came up to them as they both took a bench under a large oak. "Shall I retrieve refreshment for you?"

"Yes, please," Miss Darcy said.

Elizabeth nodded her head and soon Mr. Darcy returned with two plates filled with treats and two cups filled with punch. The women took their plates and cups, thanked their benefactor, and began to partake.

"Darcy!" Mr. Bingley came up to them then, Jane firmly in his grasp. "I am glad you cleared your scheduled and brought your lovely sister. It wouldn't be proper if you did not attend the wedding."

Elizabeth looked curiously up at Mr. Bingley, then at Darcy.

"Of course he wouldn't say a word, never did like drawing attention to himself." Bingley clapped Darcy on the back, completely oblivious to the look on Darcy's face to beg him to stop speaking. "I had all but agreed to give up the lease on Netherfield when Darcy convinced me I had to see it in Spring before making a final decision. If I had not returned I would not have realized how empty my life had been without my Angel." Here Bingley covered Jane's hand with his own and looked meaningfully into her eyes.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows up at Darcy, astonished that he had lowered himself to that of matchmaker.

"Truly, brother?"


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: I feel I have to start by saying I do not really plot my stories out, chapter by chapter. I have an idea and start writing and let the characters direct me. Sometimes it's easy sometimes it's hard. I've already had to edit two major story lines out of my story in order to keep the pace. When this happens chapters become shorter and it may feel choppy in some areas.

I've thought about the rating as well. Someone mentioned what they've read so far not worthy of an M rating, and this is as graphic as it gets. If more of you agree I will change the rating.

Well, tata for now!

Chapter 20

He was there, as she knew he would be. She had been determined to stay in doors the morning after the wedding, but a restlessness had pulled towards the outdoors. The wedding had been marvelous, and Jane and Mr. Bingley were on their way to being the happiest married couple in all of England. The bustle of the day did not allow Elizabeth time alone and was therefore free of Mr. Darcy. She had been helping her Mother where she could, and found herself needing to rest. When she awoke the next morning her legs were restless and she knew a brisk walk would do her good, so against her better judgment, she left Longbourn, the sole inhabitant awake, and found her path blocked by Mr. Darcy.

"Elizabeth," he said, dark eyes boring into her very soul. "You are avoiding me."

Afraid to say anything, she cast her gaze down at her gloved hands. He strode to her quickly and pulled her into himself. Helpless against his strength she allowed the embrace, mentally berating herself.

"You are crying," he stated, pulling away.

Indeed, her eyes had pooled, causing two small streams to cut a path down her cheeks. "We cannot meet again," she managed to say.

Mr. Darcy pulled further away, "Why?" He demanded.

Elizabeth raised her head and pulled her shoulders back. She had to be strong, strong enough for the both of them. "I am a married woman. Married to a good man."

"He does not deserve you!"

"Mr. Darcy...I am his wife. The child I carry will be his child."

"No!" He shouted, pacing in front of her like a wild beast. "We can leave together, you and I. Somewhere where we are not known."

Elizabeth sighed deeply. She had fantasized him saying these words and of herself accepting them. They could go to a foreign country and live as man and wife and raise their family and be happy... Except she could never truly be happy. Forced to live away from the her parents and sisters, knowing the shame she would bring upon them. It was a beautiful dream, but simply that...a dream. It was time to wake up.

"Mr. Darcy, we cannot meet again." She repeated herself, forcing her gaze upon his anguish. "You cannot hurt your sister in that way, and I would never ask it of you. You will marry and have a family of your own. I pray you will find happiness and be content."

He stared at her, unable to say a word. Elizabeth went to him and on tiptoe, placed a gentle kiss upon his cheek, then left him, afraid to look back.

When Elizabeth returned to Longbourn Mary and Kitty were the only two who had awoken and were seated at the table. She ate in silence, allowing the familial actions of the house flow around her, though not truly participating herself.

"Lizzy did not look well today," Mrs. Bennet said to her husband that evening. "I hope she is not becoming neurotic."

Mr. Bennet stifled a guffaw, "My dear, Lizzy is simply going through a change of life. She will be a new Mother soon."

"Yes," Mrs. Bennet glowed, "I suppose her lying in will happen soon and she will have to call for me."

Elizabeth's sadness lasted throughout the rest of her pregnancy, and when Mrs. Bennet did come to visit her daughter, dragging Lydia with her, she tried to cheer Lizzy by saying many women felt out of sorts when carrying a child. Mr. Collins took things in stride, allowing Mrs. Bennet full run of the household, thinking it wiser to let her have her way instead of arguing.

The seasons changed, the weather growing colder, and the Christmas season nearly upon them when Mr. Collins came home one afternoon after having spent time at Rosings with what he thought strange news.

"My dear, you will never guess!" He shouted as he took off his gloves, coat and scarf.

Elizabeth, Mrs. Bennet and Lydia were in the back parlor where it was much cozier with a warm fire burning. They were preparing linens and garments for the new babe, which seemed to cheer Lizzy more than anything.

"What is it?" She asked, wondering what Lady Catherine could have said to upset her husband so.

"Mr. Darcy is engaged!"

Elizabeth's hands stopped mid stitch, her work falling into her lap. Her eyes were wide with shock and she looked up at Mr. Collins. Surely she misheard.

"Engaged?" Lydia snorted, "who would marry that stodgy old man?"

Mr. Collins looked about ready to rebuke Lydia for her disparaging remark, when Mrs. Bennet asked to whom was he engaged.

"That is the strange part." He continued, "Mr. Darcy and Miss de Bourgh were intended for each other practically since the cradle! Lady Catherine received a missive while I was attending her which stated that Mr. Darcy had recently engaged himself to a Miss Coleman from Lancashire. Apparently they are a very wealthy family, and she is an only child, not even twenty years old."

Elizabeth felt herself to be sick. She rose from the chair, intending to dash to the water closet, but as she rose a terrible pain shot through her back and abdomen. She yelled out in pain, falling back upon the chair. Mrs. Bennet rushed to her daughter's side, with her hand feeling the hardness of her daughter's stomach. Lydia's eyes were wide with fright, not knowing what to do, while Mr. Collins kept asking if the child was coming.

"Yes, Mr. Collins, go fetch the midwife!" Mrs. Bennet yelled. "Lydia, help me get Lizzy up the stairs."

Slowly, Mrs. Bennet and Lydia pulled Elizabeth off the couch and to the stairs. They were half way up when Lizzy screamed out, and a gush of water trickled down her leg. They managed to get her up the stairs, Mrs. Shaw having helped them. Once Elizabeth was in bed Mr. Collins had returned with the midwife.

"This babe will not be waiting much longer," she said after inspecting Elizabeth. "I need clean linen and boiling water immediately."

Mrs. Bennet stayed in the room with the midwife and told Lydia to keep Mr. Collins company below stairs. She was only too glad to get out of that room, vowing never to become with child herself. Mr. Collins paced the room, cringing every time he heard his wife cry, afraid to go upstairs, and feeling useless below.

Two hours later Mrs. Bennet came downstairs, a bundle in her arms. "It's a boy." She beamed, presenting him to his Father.

Collins stared at the babe in Mrs. Bennet's arms and wondered at his perfect features. He took his boy in his arms, his eyes overflowing with tears. "Lizzy asked to name him William."

Mr. Collins stared at Mrs. Bennet. "After me?" She nodded. "Hello William," he cooed.

Lydia also stared at her nephew, surprised that such a large baby could have fit within her sister, but felt prudent to keep that observation to herself. Collins was told that Elizabeth was resting and the babe, though early, seemed in perfect health. After a while Mrs. Bennet took little William back up the stairs with her so that he might suckle from his Mother. Upon entering the room the midwife turned to Mrs. Bennet, fear clouding her eyes.

"You must fetch the physician, quickly."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Elizabeth did not die! I would never! I promised an HEA for E and D and I will deliver, I promise!

Now, I am going to state that I did in the beginning plan on making Collins not exactly a villain, but apathetic to Elizabeth's problems adjusting to her new home. There was going to be some controversy between Elizabeth and Lady C but it would have meant postponing E and D's first meeting. Now, since everyone is saying Collins is too nice to die (which he will) I may go back and edit that little storyline back in. Any huge changes that need made will happen after I've finished writing the story, then I'll take a small hiatus from posting to make those changes, and after editing I'll probably post a chapter a day until it is all posted, while starting on my next fic.

Any other glaring problems with the story, please tell me and I will try to fix them. Thanks!

Chapter 21

It was too hot. Or too cold? Either way Elizabeth was terribly uncomfortable, chills wracking her body, sweat glistening off her skin. She called out for water, or blankets, or the fire to be put out, she couldn't remember which. Where was Jenny? Such a terrible maid she had never seen in her life, she should have dismissed her when she first came...

Where was she exactly? She struggled to open her eyes, but there was nothing except darkness...or was it too bright? Oh, this pounding in her head, would it ever stop? Where was that water?

She felt lite, as she floated along the dance floor of Netherfield Park. She had spent a week at least on her dress, and she had new slippers for the occasion. She felt as if she were someone important, instead of Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn. She felt a bit tipsy, perhaps she had too much punch? _I need water,_ she thought, but was distracted by her new partner coming to claim her hand.

Mr. Collins fumbled through the dance steps, apologizing as he went. "Would it be easier if we were to float?" He asked. "Yes," and they rose a few inches off the ground.

 _Much better_ , she thought, but there was still no water.

"Oh my," Elizabeth cried, "the walls are on fire."

Collins looked, "yes, how odd. I wonder at Bingley allowing it."

"Perhaps if there were some water," Elizabeth looked toward the refreshment table but it too was engulfed in flames.

"Lizzy, I love you, please don't leave me," Mr. Darcy's voice startled her.

"Mr. Darcy, what have you done with my dance partner?"

Darcy turned his head, Elizabeth's eyes following his gaze. Off in the distance Mr. Collins was floating away, towards the flames, a babe in his arms.

"No!" Elizabeth screamed, trying to reach for them, but they were too far away.

"Elizabeth, let them go. Come be with me."

"You are married!" She screeched, turning her eyes to him again.

Mr. Darcy stared at her, a frown on his face. "You must wake, Lizzy." He implored, but his voice was garbled, and sounded remarkably like that of her Mother.

"I am awake," she huffed.

Darcy grabbed her by the arms and shook her, "Wake up!"

Elizabeth's eyes slowly opened, but the room was out of focus. She blinked a couple more times and finally she was able to see her Mother's face looking down at her.

"She's awake," she called, her gaze never wavering from her daughter.

She heard footsteps, someone entering the room. Off in the distance she heard the distinct cry of a baby. There was something urgent she needed to do but she couldn't remember what. She felt cold hands on her body, and she looked to see a strange man hovering above her.

"Her fever has broke," he smiled, "she shall pull through."

A sob escaped Mrs. Bennet's throat as she fell on top of her daughter, embracing her in her arms. Elizabeth couldn't remember the last time her Mother hugged her so.

"Water," she managed to say.

"Yes, here dear," she brought a cup to her daughter's lips and helped her to drink it.

Elizabeth could hear her husband's voice out in the hall, speaking to the man who had just been here. She desperately wanted to get out of bed, but her Mother pushed her down, tsking.

"Lizzy, save your strength," she gently said.

In an instant her Mother had moved and in her place Mr. Collins sat. His face was haggard, as if he hadn't slept in days. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair unkempt and Lizzy wanted to rebuke Jenny for allowing Mr. Collins' clothes to get in such a state. She felt his hands grab hold of her own, and she could see tears in his eyes.

"Lizzy," he said, squeezing her hands. The first time he had called her by that name. "I thought you were-" he stopped, afraid to go on.

"Here's little Will," Mrs. Bennet called.

Elizabeth craned her neck to see Lydia enter the room with a small baby in her arms. Instinctively Elizabeth reached out for him, but she was too weak to keep her arms up. Lydia took Mr. Collins' place and held Will so that she could see him. "He looks much better," Lydia commented, "now that his face isn't all read and puffy."

He was such a small little thing, wrapped snugly in his blankets. He had a tuft of dark curly hair on his head, and Elizabeth felt sure that if his eyes were open she would see Darcy's eyes staring back at her. A tear escaped her eye, trailing down her cheek. How she wished she could hold that baby, take him in her arms and nourish him from her own body.

"We hired a wet nurse," Mrs. Bennet said from the foot of the bed. "The physician said as soon as you are able you can try to nurse yourself, if you wish it."

Elizabeth nodded her head, "How long?"

"You were in bed for nearly three days." Mr. Collins answered.

Three days? Three days away from her baby?

"I think she should rest now," Mrs. Bennet ushered Lydia out of the room, Mr. Collins the last to leave.

She felt so tired, but was afraid to sleep. She turned toward the nightstand to make sure the cup of water was still there. Upon seeing it she felt relieved, then drifted off into sleep.

The days that followed were spent in returning Elizabeth's health. She was given broths to drink, and on the second day when she was able to sit up in bed she called for Little Will. The nurse maid brought him to her, and stood nearby in case she needed assistance, but Elizabeth's body knew what to do. It took a while for Little Will to find his Mother's teet, but once he did he suckled away like a baby pig, causing Elizabeth to laugh out loud, and in that moment she was truly happy.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: This week is going to be hectic and I will do my best to post another chapter. I'm almost finished with the novel, perhaps two or three more chapters, and then after I do some extensive editing (during this time my posting might be more sporadic) I'll dump a chapter a day until it is all on fanfiction. In my editing I'll will try to show more of D and E falling in love.

Thanks again for all the reviews! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 22

The next few months were a mixture of joy and despair. She received every attention from her husband and Mother, and Miss de Bourgh began visiting the Parson's wife, cooing over the baby and bringing her cakes and biscuits from Rosings. She received very little news about Mr. Darcy and his upcoming wedding, though from what she could understand Lady Catherine was mightily displeased and threatened to rain down hell fire upon the strumpet who had stolen Darcy from her own dear Anne.

Little Will began to grow into a roly-poly baby. Mrs. Bennet had stayed with her daughter six weeks after the babe was born, and reluctantly left for Longbourn, insisting she would return should Elizabeth need her.

One evening, after Elizabeth had handed Will over to Becky, the nurse, to put him to bed, she sat by the fire and took up her husbands paper. Mr. Collins had left that afternoon to attend to the dying Mr. Walcombe, a gentleman who lived on the other side of Hunsford, and had not yet returned. She gave a great sigh as she turned the paper over and there, in print, was the notification of Mr. Darcy's wedding to Miss Coleman.

She felt her heart clench within her chest, then slowly ease. It was done. Now they both were so irretrievably out of reach.

s-S-s

The green grass was wet with dew, and Little Will was determined to grasp the stalks of wet sprouts in his hands and bring them to his mouth. Becky admonished Little Will that grass was for cows, then propped him in the center of the patched quilt next to his rattle and cloth bunny. Little Will looked at such toys with disdain and once again began his migration to the edge of the blanket.

Miss de Bourgh laughed at his antics. "He is such a determined little fellow," she observed.

"Yes," Elizabeth agreed, thinking he must have received that trait from herself.

The weather was warming and the two ladies were sitting on the wrought iron chairs that were a new addition to the Parsonage's garden, the matching table laden with lemonade, cucumber sandwiches, pies, and other treats, while Becky had the unending job of corralling young Master Will away from harmful grasses.

It was a curious friendship that formed between the two women, and would have been frowned upon by Lady Catherine if it had not begun at such a terminal time in Elizabeth's life. Once it had begun Lady Catherine found herself powerless to stop it, and simply rationalized that the wife of a Parson was indeed a good influence on her daughter, and eventually Mr. Collins would become part of the landed gentry. Mr. Collins couldn't have been more proud of the match, and encouraged his wife to often visit Miss de Bourgh, and for her to visit as well.

Elizabeth still met with Mrs. Cosgrove, though her son had accomplished what he had threatened to do for years and had left home to join the Army. She had mourned the loss of her son, terrified that one day a hallow knock would come at her door, delivering news of his death. Elizabeth tried to reassure Mrs. Cosgrove that many young men made fine careers out of the Army, and that soon she would see her son again.

In the meantime Elizabeth's main focus was that of her son.

"I think 'tis time for Little Will's nap," Becky grabbed the bawling boy from off the blanket, presented him to his Mother for a kiss, then took him into the house.

The two women sat in companionable silence, both having filled themselves with delicious food. Elizabeth noted that Miss de Bourgh's complexion had improved the last few months, going from a waxy hue to an almost porcelain white. Miss de Bourgh learned early on in their friendship that Elizabeth loved to walk, and if they were going to spend time together, some of it would have to be out of doors.

"Whatever is the matter?" Elizabeth gasped, noticing trails of tears slide down Miss de Bourgh's face.

"Oh, I suppose I am suddenly coming to the realization that I will never be a Mother," she sobbed.

Drawing herself closer to Anne, she grasped her hands in her own and gave them a squeeze. "Dear Anne," she said in a gentle tone, "does this have anything to do with Mr. Darcy's marriage?"

"No, yes, I don't know," she dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief. "I always knew he did not want to marry me, but Mother convinced me he would do his duty by me. When I heard he had gotten engaged Mother was livid. She said he would marry me if she had to drag him to the church herself." Anne paused to give a little chuckle.

"He is not coming for his annual pilgrimage, is he?"

Anne shrugged her shoulders, a most un-ladylike movement which would have resulted in a rebuke from Lady Catherine, had she been there to witness it. "I know he has written Mother, but she refuses to speak his name. Colonol Fitzwilliam is in the Americas, so he is unable to come."

"I wish..." Elizabeth stopped herself. She knew the great disservice Lady Catherine had done to her daughter. Though Anne was prone to sickness, it would not have prevented her from being presented at court. She had begun to suspect that Lady Catherine kept her home on purpose, for what reason she could not fathom.

"I wish many things as well..." Anne stated.

Soon after she bade her friend goodbye, called for the barrouche to be brought around, then returned home. Elizabeth remained out of doors, taking in the warm sunshine, eyes closed, enjoying the sounds of nature around her. Birds in the trees, wind in the grass, and the clip clop of a passing horse and carriage. The noises stopped. Perhaps Mr. Collins had returned from his rounds of visiting the sick and afflicted. She turned her head and was about to ask how his day had gone when she stopped.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Collins," called Darcy from the gate.

If Elizabeth had been standing she was sure she would have fainted away. As she was sitting at the time of seeing Mr. Darcy she merely felt a little dizzy, grasping the arm rests of the chairs lest she topple over.

Mr. Darcy made a motion towards the waiting carriage, then as it rode away he entered the garden and walked towards Elizabeth. He noted the small repast on the table along with the two glasses and plates filled with crumbs. He wondered who had joined his Elizabeth this afternoon.

"Are you well?" He asked, staring down at her.

She nodded her head, struggling for words. "Please, sit," she managed to say.

Darcy sat next to her and stared at her longingly, as a man stranded in the desert would stare at a glass of cool water, only this refreshing woman was no mirage. How he longed to touch her, even if to just grasp her hand within his, but it was day, and any number of people could see them.

"It is good to see you again," he smiled.

"I did not think you would come," she replied.

He chuckled, "I am only here for a fortnight to inspect the lands and the accounts of Rosings. I dared not bring my wife, for fear of how Lady Catherine would receive her."

At the mention of his wife Elizabeth felt as if she had been struck. She tried to compose herself, but the look on Darcy's face was clear that he had seen.

"Is Mrs. Darcy in good health?" She asked, hating that her voice faltered.

"Yes," he answered, "she is in good health. Georgiana and she are in town, enjoying the dances and dinners."

They sat in silence, neither knowing what to say to the other, until they heard the fast clip of feet on the lane. Elizabeth turned her head to see Mr. Collins barreling down the lane, running into the gate, then quickly opening it. He looked about ready to shout something towards her, when he was stopped short by the site of Mr. Darcy. He gave a wobbly bow.

"Mr. Darcy," he cleared his throat, "I was just made aware of your presence in Hunsford. Thank you for deigning to stop by my humble abode. I hope my wife has made you welcome?"

"Yes," Darcy replied, "as always."

"Good, good," Mr. Collins stated. "Lady Catherine is expecting your presence," he finally said after Mr. Darcy made no move to leave.

"Yes," Darcy said as he rose from his chair, "thank you for your time."

How he longed to take Elizabeth's hand to his mouth and place a kiss upon her knuckles, but even he would not take such liberties while Mr. Collins stood staring. He made his farewells, then left through the gate, heading towards his Aunt's impending wrath.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Argh, I find it difficult to find a good chunk of time to just sit down and write. I have a two and a half year old who only takes one hour naps and that is the only time during the day I can write and edit. And when those naps are thrown off by something it is impossible. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Chapter 23

The next morning Mr. Collins left the house early before breaking his fast. He was sure Lady Catherine would need his support while her errant nephew was visiting. Elizabeth sighed as he left, went to the nursery and spent the better part of the morning playing with Little Will. How he looked like Mr. Darcy, she thought. It was plain to see to her she wondered no one else could see it. Then she supposed people saw what they wanted to see.

"I'm going out," Elizabeth said to Becky after putting Will down for his afternoon nap. "Should Mr. Collins return pray tell him I shall be back for luncheon."

The day was bright and warm, and welcomed a walker such as Elizabeth. She enjoyed the beauty of the land and had come to accept it as her home. She recalled those first few weeks after William's birth and smiled at how solicitous her husband had been towards her. It was in those moments she realized that Mr. Collins did indeed love her, and it warmed her heart. Though he was ever Lady Catherine's sycophant, the tender way he cared for Elizabeth seemed to open her own heart to him. She had finally begun to let him in; and then Mr. Darcy returned.

She walked away from Rosing's, towards Hunsford, afraid Mr. Darcy would haunt their old paths. She did not want to see him that day, or any other. His entering her life now threatened to imbalance what she had struggled to make right. She was afraid of meeting him alone, of what her emotions would be towards him. He was married now, so perhaps he had found someone else to love? Yes. Mr. Darcy had said he had come out of duty and would stay only two weeks. She sighed, then returned home.

Mr. Collins was home when she returned and was full of all that had gone on at Rosings that day. Lady Catherine, though still unforgiving of Mr. Darcy, had allowed him into her home to help her with the management of the estate. Apparently he had encouraged his Aunt to secure a steward who would perform the same function as himself, stating that he would not always be able to come visit. Lady Catherine had been set off by this, accusing his new wife of trying to keep him from his family duties, having already taken him from Anne. Mr. Darcy calmly explained that once Georgiana was married he would retire to Pemberley indefinitely and only return this way at the utmost importance.

"So Miss Darcy is out then?" Elizabeth asked, remembering the shy, young girl she had met at Jane's wedding.

"Yes, and is enjoying the London Season, by what Mr. Darcy has to say."

"Good," Elizabeth smiled.

They were summoned to Rosing's the next evening for supper and Elizabeth couldn't remember a more quiet meal in her life. At first Mr. Collins had attempted to engage in conversation, but one glaring look from Lady Catherine had shut him up. Anne was as quiet as ever, and Darcy merely partook of his food. Elizabeth felt terribly uncomfortable and wished she had made some excuse to be left out.

"Since the only gentleman here is you, Darcy," Lady Catherine stated after ringing the bell for the table to be cleared, "I don't see why we all can't retire to the sitting room. Pray, Mrs. Collins, won't you play for us?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, and once in the sitting room made her way to the piano and began playing a trilling song she had just mastered. Light conversation then began to flow between Lady Catherine, Collins and Mr. Darcy, sometimes even Anne. Elizabeth wished she could be nearer to hear, but she could only hear the low rumble of their voices over the piano. Once she was finished, she sat quietly next to her husband.

"Anne and Mrs. Collins have struck up a curious friendship," Lady Catherine said.

Mr. Darcy regarded Anne, and then Elizabeth, "truly?"

"Yes," Collins put forth, "when Elizabeth suffered after our son was born, Miss de Bourgh was a frequent visitor, which helped my dear wife in her convalescence."

"Convalescence?" He demanded, looking at the faces around the room in an agitated manner. "I was not aware."

"No, of course not," Lady Catherine spat, "you were busy getting married."

Elizabeth, Mr. Collins, and even Anne looked down at their laps at Lady Catherine's outburst.

Darcy cleared his throat, "Yes, well, she is doing better? And the baby?"

"Will," Anne supplied, "we call him Little Will."

"Little Will?" He looked questioningly at Elizabeth, her face reddening.

"Named for me," Mr. Collins said.

Elizabeth bit her lip. She knew she was taking a great risk in naming her child Will. Though it fit perfectly with that of her husband, the real reason she named him so was after Fitzwilliam.

The conversation then turned, Lady Catherine not at all pleased it had hovered so long over the name of her Parson's child. After all safe topics of conversation were exhausted the Collins' left for the evening, leaving those at Rosings to themselves.

Mr. Darcy arrived at the Parsonage the next day in the late morning, catching Elizabeth at home without her husband. She politely asked if he would care for some tea, and invited him into the parlor. She was just pouring the tea into the cups when a distant cry was heard, then a pair of feet hurrying towards their room.

"Excuse me," Becky said upon spying the gentleman. Little Will was bundled in her arms, ready for his outdoor time.

"This is Little Will, and his nurse, Becky," Elizabeth said, holding her arms out for her baby.

He giggled as he sat upon her lap, reaching up for her mop cap to tear it from her head. "Becky, you may leave, I shall call if you are needed."

Becky curtsied, then went upstairs, leaving the three of them alone. Elizabeth chanced a look at Darcy and saw him staring at Little Will in a sort of longing way.

"Would you like to hold him?" She asked hesitantly, unsure if Darcy had ever held a babe in his arms.

He rose from his chair and sat next to Elizabeth on the sofa, and allowed Little Will to be placed in his arms. Holding him a bit awkwardly, Will began to struggle, vocalizing his displeasure at being handed to a stranger. Darcy frowned and gave him back to his Mother.

"He is a handsome boy," he said.

"Yes," Elizabeth agreed, "he takes after his Father."

She looked up at him then and he stared back into her eyes. How she longed to kiss him, to feel his arms around her again. Though Collins was a good husband, there was no passion between themselves, something Elizabeth struggled with. She would often feel tension build up within her body, tension she knew only Mr. Darcy could alleviate, and feel completely hopeless about it.

Elizabeth cleared her throat, breaking eye contact, "I failed to congratulate you on your marriage, and wish to do so now."

"I thank you," Darcy replied, pursing his lips in dissatisfaction.

"The paper gave very little detail to the wedding, that I-"

"Elizabeth," Darcy cut her short, placing his hand upon her knee, "I do not wish to speak of my wife."

"I am sorry, I..." Elizabeth stopped. She had chosen that topic on purpose in order to fight the roiling emotions within.

Darcy removed his hand from her knee, and stood before her, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I wish to...I need to see you in private. Please, I need to explain myself."

Elizabeth slowly shook her head, "You have nothing to explain, Mr. Darcy."

He looked down at her, his gaze fierce, "Humor me then."

Elizabeth looked around the room, "We are alone now."

"No," Darcy also looked around the room, "not here. The cottage."

"No, no," Elizabeth shook her head. If she was alone with Darcy in that cottage again, she would be undone. She had vowed to never share intimacies with him again, and how could she, now that she was finally finding love within her own marriage, passionless though it might be.

"I am begging you, please, give me fifteen minutes," he had sat back down next to her.

Elizabeth adjusted Will on her lap, who was reaching towards the floor, hoping to get down and move about at his own leisure. She closed her eyes, "I will meet you for fifteen minutes, tonight at midnight."

"Thank you," Darcy rose from his seat, bowed to her, and left.

Elizabeth looked at Little Will, gave him a gentle squeeze, then hoped she had the strength to fight her own pull towards the man she loved.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Alright, done editing the whole story, I'll post a few chapters today and a few more tomorrow. Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I write because I get great enjoyment creating new worlds and to have others appreciate them as much as I do is wonderful. You guys are the best!

Chapter 24

The cottage was as deserted as it had been before. To Elizabeth's shame, she had visited it on a few occasions, to what purpose, she did not know. She had heard from Mrs. Shaw, who knew a footman at Rosings, who had it from the gardener that the land was still fallow and would most likely remain so for a few more years. The cottage had been whitewashed twice a year, and swept throughout, but no other alterations had been made.

Mr. Darcy was waiting for her by the back door, a candle in hand. He led her through the house to "their" room. Only one other candle sat upon an otherwise empty table, giving off very little light, or warmth. Elizabeth tightened her shawl around her shoulders, to keep out the cold or protect herself from Darcy, she did not know.

"I would offer for you to sit, but," Darcy waved his arm around the empty room.

"I am here," Elizabeth stated, "speak."

"Felicia Coleman is the daughter of a friend of my Aunt, Lady Matlock," he began. "They met in town at Matlock House. They got along well, and so enjoyed each others company that Georgiana was asked to visit the Coleman's estate during the Summer. A few months later we returned the invitation and had them stay at Pemberley.

"I did not know this at the time, but the Coleman family coffers were nearly empty due to an ancestors abuse of funds, and much needed repairs through the estate. They kept their secret well, no other families of Society having lived near them to divine such. To the world they were a wealthy family, but in truth they faced certain poverty. It was decided by her parents that she would set her cap at me. During their Season together I was not a frequent participant in the balls and parties, leaving that to Mrs. Annesley and Lady Matlock. They invited myself and Georgiana to their estate in June, but I declined. Geogiana begged me to allow Felicia to stay at Pemberley, so both her parents and she came in late October. Desperate for funds, they ordered their only child to entrap me during their stay at Pemberley." Elizabeth gasped.

Darcy paused in his narration and began to pace the room as if he could outrun his demons. "I was asleep, dreaming of you, when she sneaked into my room. I did not lock my door, feeling no threat," he scoffed. "She climbed into my bed and began...I was dreaming of us, Elizabeth, here in this cottage. She took advantage of me, and yet I could not let scandal touch her. Her parents demanded satisfaction, either monetary compensation or marriage would do. They made it clear, Elizabeth, that either would do." He raked his hands through his hair, "I could not understand how they could use their daughter thus. She cried, Elizabeth, begged my forgiveness, promised she would be a good wife. God, she was only seventeen!"

Elizabeth reached out to Darcy, her Darcy, and placed her soft palm on his cheek, stroking her thumb along his grizzled skin. "You are a good man," she whispered.

He laughed, "I am not finished. I was angry, angrier than I had ever been before. I took my wife, forbade her to correspond with her family, promised that once their property passed into my hands via Felicia, I would level their house to the ground and sow their fields with salt."

Elizabeth dropped her hand, shock etched into her features. She looked questioningly at him, unable to speak.

"I had promised to wait for you," he explained. "I told myself I would come to Hunsford every year to be with you, until one of us died. I had vowed to stay true to you, and she, her parents, forced me to break my promise."

"Will," she called to him, and in an instant he was in her arms, unable to determine who was pulling on the other tighter.

Darcy nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, hoping he could bury himself there forever. Elizabeth ran her fingers through his hair, feeling his strength and warmth pressed against her figure. He kissed her, gently, on her neck, and in that moment a coldness entered her body. She pushed herself away.

"I cannot do this," she said in a hushed voice. "I vowed to never betray his trust again."

Darcy looked solemnly at her and nodded his head once. "Goodbye then," he said, then turned to leave.

Elizabeth reached out for his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

"Will," she said, her heart breaking, "go home to your wife. Make amends. Do not let the crimes of her parents taint what the two of you can have together."

Darcy stiffened, his fists clenching and unclenching. "I shall try," and with that, he walked out of the cottage, and quite possibly out of her life, forever.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Elizabeth rang the bell for a bath the next morning, a ritual she usually reserved for Saturday nights, but was feeling deserving of such an indulgence. Once she was fully bathed and dressed she had missed her husband for breakfast, and he was already ensconced in his study. She broke her fast and spent the rest of the morning playing with Little Will, before she gathered a basket of goods to take with her when she visited the tenants.

She tried to hide her melancholy as she went about her day, tried to forget what might have happened last night. She managed to make conversation with those she met, asking about their health, replying that she herself was in good health.

Once her basket was empty she returned to the house. She was still some distance from the Parsonage when she saw a figure running towards her. Young Tom came into view, his little legs carrying him as fast as they could. A cold dread entered Elizabeth's heart, clinching it tight, too tight.

"What is it?" She demanded when he stopped in front of her, trying to catch his breath.

"Master Collins...said to find...you and...tell you to...come quickly." Before he could get the last of the words fully out of his mouth Elizabeth had dropped the basket, picked up her skirts, and ran as fast as she could home.

She dreaded what she would find, a thousand horrible scenarios ran through her mind at once; the baby, oh God, please let Little Will be safe. She cursed the gate as her agitated fingers found it impossible to open, then ran towards the house, the door slightly ajar. She entered the room and stood still, Mr. Collins standing before her, a letter in his hands.

"This came post haste," he nodded towards the letter, "Oh Elizabeth, I am sorry."

She stared at the papers in his hands, afraid to touch them as if it were a viper ready to strike. Perhaps if she did not read its contents, then whatever news within would not touch her. Mr. Collins, sensing her anxiety, helped her to sit, and began reading the letter himself.

"'Elizabeth,' it is from Jane," he clarified. "'Elizabeth, Mother could not write to you for she is grieving in her room and refuses to come out. It pains me to have to send such news, but Father has died. He was found this morning in his bed, not breathing, by Sally. Mr. Jones has been by and says he likely died in his sleep, feeling no pain. His burial is set for this Friday and I know Mother would appreciate your presence, as would I. You and Mr. Collins may stay at Netherfield, if you wish.

Regards, Jane Bingley.'"

Elizabeth had been staring at the paper throughout the reading, barely registering the words out of Mr. Collins mouth related to the paper in his hands. When he stopped she looked up at his face and frowned. She had married him because her Father would die, and if he died they would have been ruined. Her sacrifice had come to fruition. Her family was saved.

"My dear," Collins rushed to his wife who had suddenly burst into tears. He tried to calm her as best he could, but his speeches were better suited to flattery and not consolation. However, she allowed him to embrace her and whisper that everything would come out right.

In the ensuing hours preparations were made for their journey to Meryton. Collins sent off a note to Lady Catherine explaining their eminent absence while Elizabeth saw to the packing of their trunks. They debated leaving now, but since it was already late afternoon and they would not arrive until late in the night and be no use then, they determined early the next morning would suffice. The question about Little Will came up.

"He would be in the way," Mr. Collins said.

"He would bring light to my Mother's life," Elizabeth responded. In the end it was determined that Little Will and Becky would both travel with them.

"Elizabeth," Collins said as he came into her room that night as she was preparing for bed. She was about to protest that she did not desire his attentions, but he held his hand up, "I came only to offer any consolation you might need. I know you and your Father were very close and if you would prefer I could sit by your bed until you were asleep."

Elizabeth smiled up at him and patted his hand, "I thank you, but I shall be fine."

He bowed to kiss her forehead, then closed the door behind him as he left. Elizabeth spent a restless night in bed and when she awoke there was such a pounding in her head she rang for Jenny to bring a tray up for her instead of joining her husband at the table. When she was dressed and ready to leave Mr. Collins helped her into the carriage, followed by Becky carrying Little Will.

"My dear," Collins started as the carriage was nearing Netherfield. "I would like to offer your Mother and daughters the use of Longbourn for some months."

Elizabeth raised her eyes at him.

"It will take me a while to find a curate and train him. I do not see why Mrs. Bennet could not make use of a house that would be empty otherwise."

Elizabeth cleared her throat, "That is very generous, Mr. Collins, but why could she not remain in her home even after we take up residency?"

Collins fidgeted in his seat, "Do you think it wise? Would she not upset the equilibrium of our house?"

"My dear," Elizabeth said, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice, "Longbourn has been my Mother's home for nearly thirty years. It would be cruel to cast her off, especially as I am her daughter and the next mistress."

Mr. Collins sat back and thought on how to counter argue her point while Elizabeth fumed within. She would not countenance her Mother being thrown out of her home. Why, the only reason she married Mr. Collins was so that her Mother and unmarried sisters would have a home once her Father died. She would scream if her sacrifice amounted to nothing.

"I see you are right," Mr. Collins frowned. "I was only thinking of you dear, and of Little Will."

Turning her head she glanced at Becky seated next to her with a sleeping Will in her lap. Becky had the good sense to keep her gaze on the scenery passing them by and pretending she could not hear a word of their conversation. The carriage pulled up at Netherfield not long after, Jane coming to greet them at the door as their luggage was brought to the guest rooms.

"Oh, Will, come to your Auntie!" She gushed, reaching out for child who began to cry.

"He does not like strangers," Elizabeth said, taking Will into her own arms, and making proper introductions.

"Come, come," Jane beckoned them inside and to a small sitting room where tea was laid out for them, Mr. Bingley welcoming them as well. Elizabeth handed Will over to Becky who was shown the nursery that had been prepared for them, where their own repast awaited.

Jane caught Mr. and Mrs. Collins up on all that had been happening while they ate. "Mother has asked if you would sit with Father." She finally said when they were finished. "She asked you to come as soon as you can."

Elizabeth nodded her head, "Please, have the carriage readied, I won't take long to freshen up."

The couple were showed their rooms, adjoining suites in the family wing. Mr. Collins stated he was tired and would lay himself down. Elizabeth was grateful, and after washing the dust from her face and repining her hair, she was ready to say goodbye to her Father.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The house was silent, the darkness almost complete. Laying beneath a shroud was Mr. Bennet, or what remained of him. When Elizabeth first arrived at Longbourn her Mother fell upon her shoulder and cried about her departed husband, but also rejoiced in the fact she would still have a home. Elizabeth comforted her Mother as best she could, determined to never tell her just how close she had come to being thrown out regardless of her marriage to Mr. Collins. The thought rankled her as she sat in the parlor, watching over her Father's corpse. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on her task, and began reading from her book of prayers by candle light, wishing morning would arrive.

The night felt long and often her thoughts would drift. She would remember fond memories from her youth; Papa teaching her her letters, reading from Greek philosophy, instilling in her his love of learning. She would also think of Little Will, how small his hands were, how cute his toes. What would he look like when he grew older? Would he look remarkably like Mr. Darcy or would he retain some semblance of herself? And then she would think of him, and she would feel warmth from the thought.

Early in the morning she was awakened by Mrs. Hill who had come to relieve her. Casting her eyes towards the window she could see the sky just beginning to turn the rosy hue of early dawn. She thanked Hill, especially for the warm cup of coffee she had brought, and walked to the dining room to wait for the rest of the family to come down to break their fast.

Mr. Bingley, Jane and Mr. Collins came early in the morning, Mr. Collins giving a rather loquacious speech on righteous souls inheriting their mansion in Heaven, which did nothing to comfort Mrs. Bennet as she mourned her husband.

"Lizzy," Jane said as the two of them took a stroll outside, "Charles and I will not renew the lease on Netherfield. He has found a property up North, near Scarborough." Elizabeth's eyes widened at the news, and Jane continued. "He feels...we both feel it would be nice to raise our children near his family."

"Jane, are you...with child?"

Jane's smile widened, "Yes, dearest, though you mustn't tell Mama. If she were to learn of our move and that I am with child she will try to stop us."

"I won't utter word." Elizabeth promised.

"We would also like to take Kitty with us," Jane hesitated, watching for Elizabeth's reaction.

"Kitty?" She questioned. Mary was older by more than a year, it was her turn to enter society as Miss Bennet.

"Mary is too set in her ways," Jane said, "we do not think she would do well and Kitty would be a tremendous help once the baby comes. Mary and Lydia should remain here with Mama to comfort her."

Elizabeth pursed her lips, refusing to argue with her sister. She nodded her head, wondering why Jane would reveal her plan to herself first. It was entirely their Mother's decision on whether any or none of her unmarried daughters would leave for the North.

Mrs. Bennet thought it a splendid idea and even tried to add herself and Lydia to the journey, but Jane explained that she would be much more comfortable at Longbourn, walking distance to her sister, and only a days ride from London where she could visit her brother. "It is true that it is harder to make new friends as one ages," Mrs. Bennet stated.

And so two weeks after Mr. Bennet's funereal, the Bingleys shut Netherfield up for the last time and packed their trunks for their new home, Kitty excitedly waving her hand goodbye from the carriage window.

"I do not see why I could not go," Lydia pouted as they returned in doors.

"Oh, Lydia, think of it! Now that Lizzy and Jane are married, your Uncle Gardiner will let you visit him in London and think of the parties and balls you shall attend!"

Mrs. Bennet and her youngest daughter giggled as they took their tea in the parlor, planning their London escape as soon as the appropriate mourning was observed.

Two weeks had gone by in which Mr. Collins signed all the required papers that would make Longoburn legally his. The entail would break as soon as he died and Longbourn passed to his son. He had talked with Elizabeth about perhaps extending the entail beyond that but Elizabeth was adamant that it should end indefinitely and no amount of cajoling would make her see any other way.

Once the house had settled Collins returned to Hunsford to seek out a new curate, one who could take over his ecclesiastical duties while he retired to the countryside as a landed gentleman. Elizabeth make her intentions known that she would stay behind to help her Mother and sisters, and get Longbourn ready for his return.

Once he was gone she entered her Father's study as if she were entering a sacred shrine. She let her eyes roam over every object, brushing her fingers over the ledger on the desk. These were her Father's things, his most valued treasures, and she would see to it that they were preserved.

She began by packing away his little curious and object d'art and contraptions that he had collected over the years and instructed Hill that they boxes were to be packed away carefully in the attic. She then went over the books, picking those that had a special memory for her, and carried them to her new room. Mrs. Bennet retained her old bedroom, and her Father's bedroom was to be aired out and made ready for Mr. Collins on his return. The guest room which she had stayed in during Jane's wedding was to be made over for her new room for the duration of her Mother's life, and one of the other rooms could do for a guest room.

Once the study was cleared away of all of Mr. Bennet's things, she began going over the ledgers and became horrified at what she discovered. Mr. Bennet had been able to bring in nearly 2,000 pounds per anum from the estate, but the notes written in the margins allowed her a deeper insight into her Father's mind. He had not been an attentive Father, this she knew from personal experience, but these ledgers and notebooks allowed her to see he had also not been an attentive landowner.

Money that should have been used for improvements to the tenant cottages, for seed, and for implementing new farming techniques was spent instead on books and contraptions her Father studied. She had an image of her Father who fostered her love of learning and stood as barrier between her mother and herself, but she was beginning to view him in a different light and it unnerved her. She felt a sudden urge to storm the attic and toss the box of her Father's treasures out the window and stand triumphantly over their broken bits and pieces.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, took some deep breaths, then thought on the problem. After reviewing the ledgers she knew what she must do. Though she wasn't well learned in the management of a large estate, she had watched her Father over the years, and felt up to the task until she could educate herself with the newest farming methods. She took a quill and paper and began writing her goals for the next month, the next year, the next five years, and then the next ten. By then she felt confident Little Will would be able to help her take over and could put in his own suggestions.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"Is this really necessary?" Collins asked as he sat atop their horse, Mustard.

"Yes," Elizabeth reassured, watching the groom lead the horse by the reins as her husband gripped the pommel so hard his knuckles were turning white. "You must relax, do not squeeze with your legs so sight. Mustard will be more comfortable if you are relaxed."

The horse whinnied and threw backs its mane, causing Collins to scream out. The groom calmed the horse down, and the lesson resumed. Elizabeth looked on in some amusement, though she was doing this for his own good. Who ever heard of a country squire not knowing how to ride a horse?

"Once you can ride we can inspect Longbourn's lands much faster."

After a quarter of an hour Elizabeth felt her husband had suffered enough, and she motioned for the groom to help him down. Collins walked to her with knees bowed, but smiling none the less.

"How did I do?" He asked.

"Very well, indeed." Elizabeth smiled, allowed him to kiss her cheek, and together they walked back home.

When Mr. Collins returned from Hunsford Elizabeth wasted no time in informing her husband of the straits Longbourn was in. She reassured him that they were far from living as paupers, but that with some better management they could bring in close to 200 pounds more. She explained a neighboring farm was owned by a simple farmer who was getting on in years and had no wife or children to inherit. If they raised enough capitol they could offer to purchase his land with the condition he could remain in his little cottage rent free until the day he died.

Collins was astonished at his wife's knowledge and her goals, as she called them. Was it right for women to do that which fell under the purview of men?

"Elizabeth I was a woman and ruled all of England," Elizabeth countered, and unable to provide a rebuttal, Collins remained silent.

The months passed and Elizabeth had heard very little about the Darcy's, except what she read in the London Times. She longed to know whether he was feeling better, hoped he had found some happiness in his life. Miss Darcy was still single, and much talked about as becoming a very sought after friend during her time in London, and a also of being a paragon of fashion.

The weather turned cold and the goals Elizabeth had for her first months at Longbourn were realized. She managed to restrict her Mother's and Lydia's spending strictly to that which her dowry brought in, refusing to budge even a little bit. The roofs of the tenant farmers' dwellings were repaired in time for the rains, and money was being saved for the purchase of more land.

Little Will was walking and babbling at whomever would care to listen to him. Mrs. Bennet took quite the shine to her grandson, always referring to him as "Young Master William." Lydia didn't care much for her nephew, especially after her threw up on her. Mary was the only Bennet who seemed to sink into the shadows and one night as the house was retiring for the night, Elizabeth saw the light on in Mary's room. She placed her head to the door and thought she heard muffled crying.

"Mary," Elizabeth called through the door. A sudden pause, then a scrambling and Mary opened her door.

At once Elizabeth could tell she had been crying by her red eyes and puffy face.

"My dear, whatever is the matter?" She asked, entering the room and ushering Mary to sit on the bed where she joined her.

"I do not know," she whispered, clasping and unclasping her hands.

"Is this about Father?"

Mary shrugged her shoulders, "I do not know. I simply am sad."

"There, there," Elizabeth took Mary in her arms and let her silently cry on her shoulder.

"Sometimes," Mary said between sobs, "I think I shall shrivel up and die right here in this bed."

Elizabeth pulled away so that she could look into her sisters eyes, "What makes you think that?"

Mary groaned. Did she really have to spell it out for her sister? "I am not pretty like Jane, or clever like you. I'm not as jovial as Kitty or Lydia. Jane even preferred Kitty to me!"

Elizabeth felt shame. She should have at least convinced Jane to take Mary along with Kitty. It truly was unfair that Mary should have been left behind, as if her feelings didn't matter. Elizabeth rocked her sister until tiredness overtook her. She gently laid her in the bed and blew out the candle.

 _There must be something I can do._ She thought to herself as she retired for the night.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Dwink!" Little Will demanded holding up his empty cup.

"Now, now, Master Will, mind your manners," Becky said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Dwink?" Little Will giggled.

Becky laughed, took the cup and filled it from the pitcher. Elizabeth laughed inwardly at such a display. She took a sip of coffee from her cup, then resumed going over her letters. Though most of them were addressed to her husband, he had all but delegated the duties to his wife. He was still learning to be a country squire, his riding lessons coming along, and currently he was out shooting grouse with Sir Lucas and a few other gentlemen. She had said a fervent prayer as he left that morning that his shots would be true, and no harm would come to him.

Collins lessons on land management, however, were not going over so well. He would get frustrated when looking at the long columns of numbers, being unable to add them on paper, let alone in his head as Elizabeth could. He claimed the numbers swam together and after a heated argument, he finally said she could take care of the books herself.

As for Mary, Elizabeth believed she had the perfect solution for her. She had written to her Aunt Gardiner to ask whether Mary might stay with her for a bit of the Season. Her Aunt had written back saying she would be delighted to have Mary for a visit. Now all Elizabeth had to do was convince her Mother it was a good idea, especially while Kitty still with Jane, who had written to her Mother of her condition and that she had all the help she could ask for with Charles' Mother and Kitty by her side.

"Young Master William," Mrs. Bennet exclaimed upon entering the room, "would you care to join your Grandmama on a walk?"

Becky looked towards Elizabeth for her approval. "Are you going into Meryton?" She asked.

"Yes, my sister Phillips told me yesterday that there is a new shipment of ribbon from London."

Elizabeth tried desperately not to reprimand her Mother. Though Longbourn now wholly belonged to Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet occasionally acted as if it were still hers, along with any money coming in.

"Did you not just buy new ribbon?" Elizabeth asked, knowing full well there was a length of ribbon purchased just last week inside her Mother's work basket.

Mrs. Bennet scoffed, "Yes, and what a waste it was. It did not go with any of my outfits. I gave it to Mary."

Elizabeth sighed, "You may take Will, Mama, but please return before the afternoon."

Mrs. Bennet and Becky left the room with Will to get him ready to leave, and Elizabeth took her papers to the study to finish her work. She had just made a nice profit from some of the wool and had added it up to that which she was saving. Just a year or two more and they would have enough to expand Longbourn!

She went through the rest of the letters, setting aside those she would reply to later, when one caught her eye from Rosings. It was addressed to her husband, but was from Anne.

"Mr. Collins," it started, "My Mother recently fell ill and has been confined to her room. The Physician says there is nothing he can do except help ease her pain. I fear she is not long for this world and beg you to come to her. She refuses to see Mr. Parsons and though she does not say so aloud, I believe she would find comfort in your presence."

Elizabeth rose from her chair slowly, the letter clutched in her hand. "Hill!" She called, as she stared at the words swimming in her vision.

"Yes, mum?" Hill asked as she came to the doorway, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Please, Mr. Collins needs to be fetched immediately."

"Yes'm," Hill left her.

When Mr. Collins returned Elizabeth could do nothing but hand the letter to him. After he read it two times he looked up at Elizabeth, his face blanched. "I must leave now," he said.

"Yes, of course," Elizabeth called for their maid and asked for a bag be packed for her husband. "Henry can take you in the carriage, we shall manage with one horse."

Mr. Collins nodded his head, re-reading the letter for a third time. Elizabeth was silent, not knowing what to say. Lady Catherine was one of those people who seemed would live forever by sheer force of will. That she had fallen ill had rendered her speechless.

"Do you wish me to accompany you?" She asked, placing her hand gently on his arm.

He looked up from the letter and shook his head, "No, you should remain here, with Will and your Mother."

Once a bag was packed, Mr. Collins left Longbourn to tend to his Patroness for perhaps the last time.

Mrs. Bennet took the news of Collins absence quite well. She declared the house would be much cozier without him reading from his sermons he had given in the past.

"One goes to church on Sunday to be sermonized to, not every evening of the week at home!"

Elizabeth wished to rebuke her Mother, but felt not up to the task. Mrs. Bennet had even asked for more money to have a new dress made over for Lydia, not even noticing the look of defeat on Mary's face.

"Mother, Lydia had a new dress at the beginning of the year and you have nearly gone through your entire allowance!"

"Elizabeth, I am not a child!" Mrs. Bennet yelled. "Do not treat me so."

"Mother, your allowance is more than enough for you and Lydia and Mary. I am sure Jane is taking care of Kitty."

"Yes, but now that your husband is away, I am sure you can loosen the purse strings yourself?"

"No," Elizabeth shook her head, "It is I and not Mr. Collins who is adamant you stick to your allowance."

Mrs. Bennet huffed, and stormed away, Lydia sticking her tongue out at Elizabeth declaring she has become some dowdy old woman. "Mary," Elizabeth said, fighting back the pain in her head, "will you please read to me?"

A few days had gone by before Elizabeth received her first letter from her husband.

"My dearest Elizabeth, Lady Catherine is well in spirit, though ill in body. I sit with her most afternoons, listen to her make plans for a future I am afraid will not be hers. I know she is deeply concerned with Miss de Bourgh and her prospects. Though Rosings already belongs to her, having achieved her majority, Lady Catherine has always managed it with her help from Mr. Darcy and the Colonel. She refuses to write to Darcy and the Colonel is away. I have written to Lord Matlock to see what help he could provide his sister.

Miss de Bourgh informed me just this morning that she has written to her Uncle Tobias who lives in the Caribbean. When he was young he took his inheritance and bought a sugar plantation and has lived there ever since. Since Miss de Bourgh is convinced she will never marry and have an heir of her own, she has told me Rosings would pass to her Uncle Tobias, and that he might as well take an interest in the lands now.

I confess, I do not know what to do other than what I have already done. I have never heard Lady Catherine mention this Tobias, or what his temperament is. I fear to disclose this news to Lady Catherine for fear it might finish her.

I pray that all will come out the way God intends."

Elizabeth set the letter aside and prayed to God as well.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Lady Catherine de Bourgh shook off her mortal coil in October of that year. Collins stayed to see her interred in the de Bourgh plot, then returned home. He seemed out of spirits, as if a part of him had been buried with his great Patroness. Elizabeth tried to cheer him up, but nothing seemed to work.

The ladies of the house had bumped heads for the last time. Elizabeth could no longer stand her Mother's overbearing ways and suggested she spend time with Jane. Mrs. Bennet declared it a fine way to treat ones Mother, but had her trunks packed nevertheless.

"I am sorry Jane," Elizabeth wrote, "but Mother has patronized me and my husband for the last time! Do with her as you wish, just keep her away from Longbourn long enough for my head to cool. I am sending Mary to Uncle Gardiner's after Christmas, so Mama may return then, if the roads are passable. Expect her a day or two after you receive this letter."

Mrs. Bennet and Lydia left in a huff the first of November, their parting barely civil. The house was a lot quieter without her Mother's prattle and demands.

"My dear," Elizabeth said one morning as they were taking their breakfast, "the rain has let up, we should inspect the fences and the cottages."

"Yes," was Collins short reply, "I shall ride out after breakfast."

Elizabeth sighed. Collins usual verbose manner had been greatly reduced since Lady Catherine's death. She would have been thankful for her husbands truncated answers before, but now it worried her. When he left Elizabeth took herself to the nursery and spent time with Will before dedicating the rest of the morning to answering letters. It was noon before she realized Collins had not returned. A task that usually took no more than two hours had suddenly drawn out to four.

"Has Mr. Collins returned?" Elizabeth asked Hill.

"No mum," she answered.

Elizabeth walked out to the stables and asked the stable master if her husband had returned, even though she saw Mustard's empty stall. He replied he had not and a dark knot suddenly formed in Elizabeth's chest. She cast her eyes about the property as if she could force her vision to seek her husband out.

"Please, gather some men and comb the land around the fences. I shall go to the cottages."

Elizabeth rushed to the lane where the tenants were housed, knocking on doors, asking if anyone had seen her husband. They all responded that he had arrived earlier asking if their roofs and held up and if there was anything they needed. No one had seen him for hours. She went home hoping someone had some news of him, but none of the men returned.

Luncheon was served, but Elizabeth could not eat a bite for fear it would come back up again. A loud commotion coming from the kitchen startled Elizabeth. A man she recognized entered, cap in hand, huffing and puffing.

"Mrs. Collins, yer husband, he fell. They're bringing him now."

Elizabeth stood up and rushed out the door. Down the drive she could see a crowd of men carrying someone on a stretcher. "No!" She shrieked, falling to her knees. She was half aware of someone helping her up and leading her to a chair.

"Go fetch Mrs. Lucas!" A voice commanded. "Now, now, Lizzy, all will be right."

Little Will's cries could be heard in the other room, more shouting, and Elizabeth's vision blacked out.

When she awoke it was dark and she was in her room. She wondered how she had gotten there, and slowly the events of the day returned to her memory. She turned her head and saw a sleeping Mary in the chair by her bed.

"Mary," Elizabeth called, waking her sister.

"You're awake," Mary rubbed at her eyes then offered Elizabeth a cup of water.

"Mr. Collins broke his leg when he fell from the horse," Mary said as she drank, "he was out in the elements for so long Mr. Jones thinks he may have to amputate if it becomes infected."

A sharp fear pierced Elizabeth's heart. She knew instinctively that this was her punishment for her sins. Why else would the Lord seek to take away her husband but to show her what she had pushed away. It didn't matter that she had tried to make amends over the last year.

Mary helped Elizabeth dress and she made her way to her husbands room. He laid in his bed, deep in sleep. His leg was wrapped in bandages and resting on top of a mountain of pillows. A young serving girl was sitting in the corner mending a garment by candlelight. Elizabeth motioned for her to leave her alone with her husband, and once the door was shut she rushed to his side.

His forehead was shiny with perspiration. Elizabeth grabbed the wet washcloth on the table, soaked it in the bowl of water, then wiped his face down. She adjusted his covers,then brought the empty chair close to the bed and sat beside him. His features were calm and she suspected he was under the influence of laudanum. She remembered quite well the vivid dreams she had had during her own sickness and wondered if Collins were experiencing the same.

"Oh, William," she sighed, grabbing his hand in her own, "please do not leave me."

And then, as if the spoken words opened a door, Elizabeth began crying at his bedside, praying to God, promising she would do anything as long as William Collins could live.

Mr. Collins remained in bed for days before his leg turned gangrenous. Mr. Jones was summoned and he took one look at the leg, the puss oozing out of the wound, and the vivid red lines running up his leg.

Shaking his head, Mr. Jones said, "There is nothing I can do. The infection has spread too fast."

Elizabeth turned to Mary who embraced her sister, wishing she could be of more comfort. Mr. Jones left more laudanum for Mr. Collins and even prescribed a small vial of something for Elizabeth to take with tea. Late at night, when the household was fast asleep, Elizabeth sat awake in Mr. Collins room, refusing to leave his side, hoping she'd get one last time to be with him should he wake. To pass the time she talked of Little Will, what mischief he was getting in to, etc...

"William," she said, determined that he should not die without her confession, "I did not love you when we first married, seeking only to secure my future. I have not been faithful to you, selfishly thinking I deserved love if I could not have it with you. I am sorry, and ask for your forgiveness."

Suddenly his hand was squeezing her own. She looked up into his face and saw his eyes had opened slightly, and the pressure on her hand happened again. Then, as if a gush of wind came through the room, she felt her husbands soul leave his body, which went limp, sinking lifeless back into the bed.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

The little cemetery next to the Longbourn chapel had one more body interred there. Elizabeth stared at her Father's tomb stone, then her eyes drifted to the freshly turned earth where her husband now lay. She laid a single yellow rose on her husbands grave, then sighed deeply. A heavy mist covering the ground snaked around her ankles, and the chill of the morning began to seep into her bones. She pulled tightly on the shawl around her shoulders as she made her way home.

The tinkling of the piano could be heard in the parlor and Little Will's chatter greeted her in the dining room. He had been hiding under the table, Becky feigning to not know where he was. The smallest of smiles played at Elizabeth's lips before her grief tugged heavily on her shoulders again.

"I will be in my room," she informed Hill.

Solitude is all Elizabeth wanted, but something she knew she could not have. Longbourn now fell solely onto her shoulders and its weight was unbearable. Collins had been making huge strides in his management of the land, making himself known to the tenants and nearby gentry. Elizabeth was sure given time and education he would have been a better Master of Longoburn than her own Father. _Oh, how fate cruelly takes away!_ She thought as she threw herself onto her bed.

She had written her family of her loss and Mrs. Bennet, along with Lydia and Kitty, were on their way home. Mary had been a solid strength, helping with Little Will and with the servants, but she was not her husband. She knew eventually it would behoove her to remarry. Though she would not be living quite alone (her Mother would forever be with her) a single woman raising a son alone would open her to censure, not to mention when Will became of age and needed a masculine influence in his life. The thought chilled her; she had already married once for security, must she now marry again for her son's security?

When Mrs. Bennet did return with Kitty and Lydia, she mourned the fact that Longbourn was now without a Master and whatever would happen to the estate? Mary tried to console her Mother by saying Elizabeth knew how to manage the land, and their Uncle Phillips would be able to help when called upon. Mary had managed to calm their Mother down and even to help Elizabeth gain some of her spirits back.

In the ensuing weeks Longbourn was conditionally handed over to Elizabeth, with her Uncle Phillips guardianship, until Will became of age. It fell now to Elizabeth to keep Longbourn thriving so that she could expand it and save enough for Will's education. She had come upon her list of goals she had made those weeks before and simply sighed. Life went on, even if some people did not remain to share it with.

s-S-s

It had happened one morning, so expectantly that Elizabeth had been shocked. She had woken up, gone about her day, laughed, played with Will, answered letters and it wasn't until the evening was upon Longbourn that she realized she had not thought about Collins the entire day. It had been four months since his death, the flowers slowly poking their heads out of the ground and the birds returning to their perches. The dark knot within her had begun to unravel until suddenly it was no longer there.

Mrs. Bennet had been badgering Elizabeth to start her half mourning soon and declared black was simply not her color at all. Mr. Hines, a friend of the Phillips' was expected for a stay during the Summer and it was decided by Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips that he would be the perfect husband for Lizzy and Father for Will.

"He is an eligible man" Mrs. Bennet declared, "and he as 2,000 a year from his business! Think of it Lizzy, he can help care for Longbourn and you will have a house in Town!"

Elizabeth did think of it, and cringed. She knew her eventual marriage would help herself and her son immensely, but she had not been able to bring herself to commit to any one gentleman over the other. There was also another passing thought that flitted through her mind before she promptly stamped it out. Mr. Darcy.

It was true, in the solitude of her room she did indulge in thoughts of him. She wondered if he were happy and dearly wished he was. She had thought about writing to Jane for news of the Darcy's, but did not wish to raise suspicion so she gleaned what she could from the papers, and whatever Jane did happen to mention in her letters, which was very little.

The Spring planting was underway and Elizabeth was ensconced in the study reading a book on new farming techniques when she began to feel a headache. She shut the book, grabbed her shawl from the rack by the door, and exited the house. Because she gave no warning of her departure, she remained on the grounds, slowly making her way through the garden paths, inspecting the flowering plants and far off orchard. When she returned to the house there was a stack of letters awaiting her, which she took to her study and separated them into those of immediate import and those that she could let sit a while. On the bottom was a letter from Jane.

"Dear Lizzy," it started, "My lying in has begun and the physician thinks I should remain in my room. I get terrible headaches and pains and it is hard for me to walk. I wonder at Mama having so many of us. Charles is taking things well, practically refusing to leave my side, though business called him away to London. He felt if he left now and finished he could return before the babe arrives. I do miss Kitty and wish she could return, though I understand your need of our Mother and sisters. Charles suggested his youngest sister May, but she is such a clumsy thing I would be cringing every time she came near me.

I have news from the Darcy's. His wife is expecting their first child, and though she is not as far along as I am, she is already confined to her rooms. Georgianna insisted on cutting her time in London short so that she might return to Pemberley to be with her. That child is no older than 18 and already producing children. I met her once when the Darcy's were passing through; such a quiet, shy girl, reminds me a lot of Mary."

Elizabeth did not finish the letter, instead re-reading the passage of Darcy's wife and her pregnancy. If only Darcy could find the love in his child he could not in his wife. She had come to care for Collins, perhaps he would come to care for his wife.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Mr. and Mrs. Phillips drawing room was not set up for cards, or any other organized entertainment, except for dinner, and perhaps a song or two afterwards on their instrument, the Broadwood already opened. The guests consisted of the Bennets and Mr. Hines, their friend from London who was passing through on his way to Cambridge.

"What business do you have in Cambridge?" Elizabeth asked, all too aware of the dinner table set up to have her closest to Mr. Hines.

"I am meeting a man who wishes to offer me shares in a factory up north which produces cloth." He replied.

The man was handsome enough, a full head of hair, which was light brown, and a full mustache atop his lip. His face was narrow, mirroring the rest of his slim body. His clothes, though not expensive, were of the latest fashion, and there was nothing untoward in his speech thus far.

"I understand you have a young son?" He asked.

"Yes," Elizabeth smiled and told him all about Little Will and what mischief he managed to get into that day.

Mrs. Bennet caught her sister's eye, and they both smiled at each other. When the dinner was finished Mrs. Phillips begged Mary to play for them, and managed to have Elizabeth and Mr. Hines sit in a secluded corner of the room, while the others were closer to the piano, talking among themselves or listening to Mary's song, her playing much improved.

"Usually my Aunt would have double the company, and the card tables out. I am, however, in half mourning," Elizabeth made a motion to the dove gray of her gown.

"Ah," Mr. Hines said. "Allow me to say you look far too young to have already lost a husband."

Elizabeth's face turned somber, "We had only been married two years."

After a pause, Mr. Hines continued the conversation on safe topics, such as the weather, the state of the roads, and even spoke of his house in London. Elizabeth asked about his family; Mother and Father already dead, a sister who was married and also living in London. When Mary finished her songs Mrs. Bennet insisted Elizabeth play as well to assure Mr. Hines that Elizabeth was indeed a gentleman's daughter and had all the trappings of such. Elizabeth tried to demur, but Mrs. Bennet all but pushed her to the emptied seat.

"I have not played in some time," Elizabeth prefaced, before placing her fingers on the keys. Taking a deep breath she began a song she had learnt by heart, faltering through the first few measures, before her fingers warmed. When the song ended both Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips applauded the loudest, each taking sneaking glances at Mr. Hines who seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly.

"How old is he?" Elizabeth asked of her Mother as they returned home. Lydia had fallen asleep declaring the night at total bore as they got into the carriage, both Kitty and Mary silently listening.

"I believe he is two and thirty," she replied.

"And never married?" Elizabeth thought it odd a man his age had never been married. Did it reflect on his character that no woman had accepted him?

"Lizzy, not all men can afford a wife when they are young," Mrs. Bennet huffed. "Mr. Hines is a respectable age, has a good income, and he seems to be taken with you."

Elizabeth smiled, more to show her Mother she was thinking of him as a future husband, but other than that evening she did not think of him. Mr. Hines had left Meryton and went on to Cambridge, wrote to the Phillips' about their niece, Mrs. Collins, once, but had not written since. Mrs. Bennet was put out by it more than anybody else, declaring he could do no better than her Lizzy.

Life went on at Longbourn, the greatest changes marked by the growth of Little Will. He seemed to have bypassed walking and went straight to running, preferring it to any other mode of transportation. Elizabeth spent most mornings in the nursery with Will and Becky to see how they were both getting on, then tend to any letters or the such. Since Mrs. Bennet's return to Longbourn she had helped Elizabeth by once again taking up the responsibilities of mistress, conferring with Mrs. Hill about the meals and servants.

Elizabeth received a letter from her Aunt Gardiner early in May stating that they would be going to the Lake District and would love to take Mary with them. Elizabeth had written to her Aunt months ago to share her concerns about Mary, and this reply seemed to have come at an opportune time. Jane had just given birth to a baby girl they named Annabelle and Mrs. Bennet was planning a trip and insisting Lydia accompany her. Lydia had bragged about her going with her Mother to Kitty, but in truth Kitty did not wish to go.

John Lucas, the eldest son of Sir Lucas, had just returned home from graduating school, and had taken a liking to Kitty who shared his attraction. No one knew, of course, except Elizabeth. Kitty was terrified if their Mother had discovered it she would have done all she could to promote the match, regardless of propriety. Lydia, in her childish way, would have tried to ruin any chances of Kitty's.

Writing back to her Aunt of their plans for that Summer, she replied she could spare Mary some weeks so that she may enjoy a change of scenery. Mrs. Bennet was amenable to the idea, though she was more determined to stay in London during the next season and taking Lydia with her. And so, at the end of June Mrs. Bennet and Lydia left for Scarborough, and three weeks later Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner came to whisk a reluctant Mary away with them, and Longbourn breathed a sigh of relief.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

John Lucas came to call most days, accompanied by his sisters. Charlotte and Mariah would speak with Elizabeth, or play with Little Will, while John and Kitty began their courtship. Elizabeth was entirely in favor of the match, and seeing how much they were growing in love, was determined to write to her Mother so that she would be prepared when she returned home to accept him as a son-in-law. Charlotte assured Elizabeth that both their parents approved the match, thinking he could probably do better if he spent a season or two in London, but that by marrying Kitty would save them the cost of renting a house.

Letters from Mrs. Bennet and Mary began pouring into Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet wrote about what a beautiful baby Jane had, such blonde curls and blue eyes, just like her Mother. Annabelle was shortened to Belle, and she made the most adorable cooing sounds. Mary's letters were shorter, but Elizabeth did get a sense she was enjoying herself. Their trip was interrupted by their Uncle Gardiner needing to return to his business sooner than he anticipated, but was determined to visit Derbyshire, where his wife had grown up, and visit all her old haunts.

Elizabeth's heart gave a skip. Pemberley was in Derbyshire, she knew that much. Would it be anywhere near where her Aunt Gardiner had grown? The Bingleys had done very little entertaining considering Jane's earlier condition, and they had related no news about the Darcys. Would there be a chance of her family coming across any of them? Forcing this news to the back of her mind she continued on with her duties.

"Oh, Lizzy, I am in love!" Kitty declared one afternoon after having walked every garden path Longbourn had with John, Mariah acting as chaperon while Charlotte kept Elizabeth company inside.

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, "Indeed? With whom?"

"Do not tease me!" She declared with all the force of a girl of eighteen could muster about her first love.

"Has he declared himself?"

"No," Kitty fell upon the sofa in an unladylike heap. "He says his Father will not condone the marriage until he has spent an entire year learning about the farm."

"An whole year," Elizabeth tsked. "Better to marry in haste then repent at leisure."

"Oh, I would never repent marrying John," Kitty replied solemnly. "He is the most perfect man in the world. Did you know he won a medal for fencing while at school?"

"No, I did not." Elizabeth smiled, and continued to listen to the many reasons why John Lucas was superior to any other man in the county.

"You must send Will to Oxford," Kitty proclaimed. "John says it is the best school."

"His Father went to Cambridge," she replied.

"I thought Mr. Collins had gone to Trinity?" Kitty asked, confused.

"Indeed," Elizabeth stammered. "I meant that Trinity is in Cambridge." Elizabeth knew perfectly well that Mr. Darcy had gone to Cambridge. She was only all too thankful that Kitty had heard her and easily dismissed it, other than someone who would have tried to pry more information from her.

"Well, if you do not send him to Oxford, it will be to your detriment." And with that, Kitty left the room, no doubt to write in her private journal about the events of the day.

The courtship of Kitty and John Lucas was wildly discussed in the parlors of Meryton during the course of the Summer. Everyone had their own opinion of the match, but it was agreed by all that such happiness was long over-do at Longbourn, and perhaps the gray pall that had covered that house was finally beginning to lift. Jane Bingley's child had been born, Kitty soon to marry, and Little Will Collins growing big and strong every day.

Elizabeth was finally accepting more company to her house, though in small numbers, and never for longer than the appropriate thirty minutes. She had heretofore declined any invitation to dinner, especially since such dinners usually turned to dancing, though Kitty had tried to beg and cajole her into accepting at least one. She so desperately wanted to stand up with John.

"If I do not attend he will stand up with some one else!" She had cried.

"Mama will return before the next Assembly, I am sure she will declare it fitting for you to go," Elizabeth tried to assuage her guilt.

Between the running of the house and land and raising her child, Elizabeth was feeling as if her life was draining away from her. She had looked in the mirror one morning and had noticed her first gray hair. Looking for other signs of age, she felt relieved that her skin was still smooth and supple, and other parts of her body were where they should be. She had never been a vain woman, always deferring to Jane's beauty, but she had hoped to marry again and to use her looks as an alluring inducement. Though she did not relish the idea of a second marriage, she knew the benefits far outweighed any discomfort on her part. To put a fine point on it, Longbourn needed a man, and Little Will needed a Father.

"Four more months," she huffed to her reflection. She would be out of mourning and able to enter into a courtship, should she choose. Though her first marriage had started without love and little respect, she had hopes for a second marriage.

These thoughts fluttered through her mind as she perused the days mail, smiling at Mary's neatly scrawled hand atop one. She had already visited the nursery and broken her fast, so she decided to take a walk and read the latest news from her sister in the garden. Sitting atop a stone bench which overlooked a small pond Elizabeth broke the seal and read:

"Dear Elizabeth, though you know how I loathed joining our Aunt and Uncle on this trip, I must confess I have enjoyed myself, and feel saddened that it is soon to end. My mind as been opened to new vistas and met many new and interesting people. Though I prefer the derelict structures we have visited, Aunt has an affinity for the larger homes, of which we have seen many. The most beautiful, however, would be Pemberley, the seat of Mr. Darcy. To think such a stoic man could own such an extraordinary home. We have not been inside, due to the family being in residence, but we were able to tour the grounds. We have heard some happy news. The Darcy's are expecting their first child soon. We asked the Head Gardener to please convey our congratulations, telling him I was an acquaintance of his. Later that day we received an invitation to take tea the next day.

Aunt Gardiner was all aflutter, trying to decide which of her dresses would be suitable, while Uncle Gardiner persuaded her any of her dresses would do, so as long as she was wearing it on her person. Mr. Darcy had a carriage sent for us, and we received every attention while there. His sister, Georgiana was present, such a shy girl, though she remembered me from Jane's wedding. We exchanged news, and when he heard that Mr. Collins had passed he seemed to choke on his tea. His wife is pretty, though quite young..." Mary's letter continued on but Elizabeth had stopped reading.

So the Darcys were to have their child soon. Though Elizabeth kept trying to persuade herself that she was happy for them, she could not prevent the tears from streaming down her cheeks.

Unable to properly function throughout the rest of the day, Elizabeth had instructed Hill to prepare the meal without her, and informed the others of the house that she was indisposed and not to be disturbed.

A/N: The next installment of chapters will be the last and I probably won't be able to get them out until Monday. Until then!

*** Sorry about the typo, I reworked the plot in the latter part of the story a few times that the "girl" mistake skipped my notice. Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag on that one ;-)


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Mrs. Bennet returned with Lydia soon after the Gardiner's conveyed Mary to Longbourn. The house was once again in a state of constant cacophony as news of their travels tried to take precedence over the other. Kitty's impending engagement was a sore spot for Lydia, who, though she was the youngest, declared she should be the next to marry.

"John only chose you because I was not here!" She declared in a huff, to which Kitty replied by sticking her tongue out.

Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth tried their best to calm Lydia's nerves, though Kitty did nothing but silently gloat as she worked on some embroidery. The Fall Assembly was approaching and considering Elizabeth was soon to be out of mourning, Mrs. Bennet convinced her to attend, even if she sat the entire evening. Elizabeth agreed and so on the night of the Assembly she dressed herself and did her hair in a simple chignon, refusing any other adornment.

The Hall was well lit and the orchestra in the balcony were tuning their instruments as the Longbourn women entered the room. Sir William Lucas greeted them, assuring them that his wife, daughters, and indeed John, would arrive later. He gave Kitty a little wink, then moved to greet the next family.

"I shall dance every dance tonight," Lydia declared, "more so than Kitty. I wouldn't be surprised if John asked me."

Kitty glared at Lydia and was about to say something when Elizabeth placed a calming hand on her arm. "Remember Kitty," Elizabeth said under her breath, "John has chosen you."

The Hall filled with revelers, old and young, and soon nearly every chair was occupied. Elizabeth sat next to her Mother and Mary, while Lydia and Kitty greeted their friends. When Mrs. Lucas arrived with her children, John and Kitty drew together as if unseen forces pushed them. The music began for the first set when Mrs. Phillips came to their party, followed by Mr. Hines.

"Mr. Hines!" Mrs. Bennet declared, eyes wide in surprise. "We did not know you would be attending." She gave her sister such a look.

"He stopped by this afternoon unexpectedly and we persuaded him to stay for the dance." Mrs. Phillips said by way of apology.

"Indeed, I do so love to dance, it didn't take much convincing."

"Well, our Lizzy dearly loves to dance as well," Mrs. Bennet prodded her daughter.

"Mama," she hissed, "I am still in mourning."

"Pish, tosh!" She cried. "You are nearly through, and I am sure no one here has been counting down the days. What harm can one dance do?"

She practically pushed her daughter out of her chair, but in order to prevent further embarrassment she willingly took Mr. Hines' hand and allowed him to escort her onto the floor just as the next song began.

"I must confess that I took a circuitous route home just to ride through Meryton." He said as he led her through the steps.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, "Indeed? Whatever for?"

"Can you not guess?" He smiled, but as the dance called for them to exchange partners briefly, she could not gauge his countenance. "Aside from Mr. Phillips fine company, and his wife's equally fine table, there was only one thing that called me hither."

Elizabeth felt her face flush and she tried to suppress a smile, "Sir, I believe you are either teasing me, or trying to make me give something away."

"No, of course," again, the couples turned about the room, then returned, "I would never tease you on such a short acquaintance and tricks are not in my nature."

The dancing continued and as the song ended Mr. Hines returned Elizabeth to her seat and asked if she could use some refreshment. She thanked him, and as soon as he left Mrs. Bennet said, "Lizzy, he is smitten! Do not push him away!" When Mr. Hines returned Mrs. Bennet left her chair, declaring she needed to speak with a friend.

"Well," Mr. Hines said as he took the emptied seat, "it seems your Mother approves of me."

Elizabeth laughed, "If she were younger she'd seek you out herself."

Mr. Hines smiled, which seemed to brighten his face. "I must say, Mrs. Collins, you truly are a remarkable woman. Such strength and wit and grace. Rarely are those traits embodied within one person."

"You are teasing again," she chided.

"No, I am not." He paused. "I have never been a man to spout poetry or say one thing while meaning another. I have gotten to where I am by speaking my mind and going after that which pleases me...you, Mrs. Collins, please me greatly."

Elizabeth was at a loss for words. He speech was all flattery, but there was sincerity in it. She could not detect any playfulness in his manner and believed him when he said he was truly speaking his mind.

"I thank you, Mr. Hines," she finally said.

"I am returning to town tomorrow for my business. I understand you have an Aunt and Uncle in town?" Elizabeth nodded her head, "If you were ever in town I would love to see you again. I shall ask Mr. Phillips to write a letter of introduction to your Uncle in town. Would that be alright with you?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said, her head swimming.

Though Elizabeth wished to dance with Mr. Hines once more, she said she could not in order to keep speculation down. To deter the gossips she danced once with John Lucas, and once with the nephew of Mr. Goulding who was visiting. Mr. Hines and Elizabeth parted ways as the Assembly Hall emptied, and all the way home Elizabeth smiled, secretly relishing the idea of seeing Mr. Hines again in London.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

It was not until the beginning of December that Elizabeth venture to London for a visit to her Aunt and Uncles. She had planned on staying through the New Year, and as there was plenty of room for Will and Becky, she brought them to town with her. The Gardiner cousins adored their little baby cousin, each taking turns in seeing who can get him to laugh or repeat their names, while Elizabeth, and her Aunt and Uncle watched.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, though not belonging to the first circles of society, did have a wide array of friends and acquaintances. There were parties, dances, and excursions to the theater, which delighted Elizabeth to no end. She had all new clothes since her mourning ended and in some ways she felt like a young girl entering society for the first time.

Mr. Hines was a frequent guest to Gracechurch Street and whichever dinner or party Elizabeth had been invited to. He and Mr. Gardiner were becoming good friends, each joyfully talking of their business and giving and receiving advice from the other. He was a good dancer and intelligent in his conversation. Elizabeth felt, given time, she could fall in love with Mr. Hines, and she felt instinctively he would be amenable to the idea himself.

One evening they were entering the Opera House, Mr. Hines having procured four tickets in a box an associate owned. Elizabeth's eyes glittered at the finery around her, so many lit candles, and women dressed in their jewels. Elizabeth had on a simple string of pearls that had belonged to her Mother, and felt slightly under dressed for the occasion, but was determined to enjoy herself. She peered over the crowd of people until her eyes rested on that of Mr. Darcy, and a woman on his arm she could only surmise to be his wife.

"Elizabeth, are you alright?" Her Aunt asked.

Tearing her eyes away from Darcy who had not yet seen her, she looked into her Aunt's face, nodding. "Yes, I thought I saw someone I knew."

Her Aunt peered over the crowd to discern whom her niece could be referring to when the gong sounded and the crowd began to shift and move to their seats. Keeping her head down, she followed Mr. Hines and her Aunt and Uncle up velvet covered stairs and to their box. Their tickets indicated they were seated in the rear row, and soon the row in front of them were filled as well.

"Excuse me," a familiar voice said.

Elizabeth looked up into the eyes of Mr. Darcy. He had accidentally kicked her chair as he passed, and when he saw Elizabeth he stopped.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth quickly said, rising from her seat, "what a surprise to see you here."

Darcy, speechless, looked from her to her companions. "May I present my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner," here they, along with Mr. Hines, rose from their chairs, "and Mr. Hines. Mr. Darcy of Pemberley."

They each greeted the other wherein Darcy found his voice. "May I present my cousin, Lady Matlock, and my sister, Miss Darcy."

The Countess smiled at her, though the warmth did not reach her eyes. She looked Elizabeth up and down, gave a simple "how do you do," before taking her seat. Georgianna however greeted her enthusiastically and would have talked further, had not the orchestra started the prelude.

All throughout the Opera Elizabeth felt ill. She took furtive looks at Mr. Hines, who fidgeted in his seat. When the intermission started Elizabeth feigned a headache and asked to be taken home. She had rushed out of their box with her Aunt and Uncle, hoping to not come into contact with Mr. Darcy, but as they were headed towards the exit he caught up with them.

"Leaving so soon?" He asked, glaring at Elizabeth's arm entwined in Mr. Hines'.

"Yes," Elizabeth gave her excuse.

"My sister has asked for me to invite you Darcy House this Wednesday for tea."

Elizabeth gave a weak smile, "I do not know, Mr. Darcy."

"Please say you'll come. I know she is quite fond of you."

"Perhaps," she curtsied to him, then left the building.

The silence in the coach permeated the air around them, though Elizabeth didn't dare break it. It was left to Mr. Hines, who said, "I have heard of the Darcy's. Pemberley is in Derbyshire, is it not?"

"Yes," was all Elizabeth would allow.

"He is related to the Earl of Matlock, correct?"

"Yes, the Earl is his Uncle."

"I have business with some of Matlock's people."

The coach deposited the Gardiner's and Elizabeth at the house on Gracechurch street, then left with Mr. Hines inside. Mrs. Gardiner made to have a chat with Elizabeth, but her Uncle shook his head, and escorted his wife up the stairs and to their room.

As she lay in bed Elizabeth's mind kept going over all her encounters with Mr. Darcy, and her body awoke, longing for his touch. She wept bitter tears into her pillow, realizing that her love for Darcy had never diminished, and no matter how she tried, loving Mr. Hines would never equal that to Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth continued her charade of illness the next day, asking not to be disturbed. She kept to her room, venturing to the nursery for a quarter hour, before taking refuge once again. Her Aunt had arrived behind the maid that carried the tea tray, and she asked if Elizabeth was feeling well. Elizabeth gave some excuse to her Aunt, hoping she would not divine the truth. Towards the evening she finally roused from her room and took dinner with the family, though declined the dance they were to attend that evening.

The next day was Wednesday and Elizabeth had changed her mind a dozen times as to whether she would attend Georgianna's tea. She had dressed for the occasion, then returned to her room in a huff, only to get up and go to the door once again. Finally she realized that Mr. Darcy would hardly be at home entertaining his sisters guests, and how she longed to see Georgianna again.

Darcy House was a tall, imposing edifice resembling the architecture of the Baroque period, built from a dull gray stone which seemed to be the predominate building material for the houses on that street. She told her Uncle's coachmen to return in a half an hour, then started up the steps to the house. She was let inside and ushered up the stairs to Georgianna's sitting room, a half dozen young girls and their Mama's or companions in attendance.

"Mrs. Collins!" She exclaimed, rising from her seat to welcome her guest.

Elizabeth looked around, feeling herself being sized up by the women around the room. Georgianna seated Elizabeth next to herself, asked how she liked her tea, and poured it accordingly. After introductions were made the talk was mostly of the latest parties, and Balls yet to be, even a smattering of gossip.

"And how is your dear brother?" One girl asked before sipping from her tea.

"He is doing as well as can be expected." Gerogianna replied.

Elizabeth looked questioningly at Georgianna who apologized before explaining. "Mrs. Darcy did not survive giving birth to their child."

Elizabeth's heart stopped and the room felt as if it was beginning to spin. She dropped her cup, the contents spilling onto the carpet, those closest to her pulling their skirts out of the way of any splashing.

"I am sorry," Elizabeth said, bending over to retrieve her cup, but before she could reach it a footman had stooped in to gather up the cup and saucer and spoon.

"Are you feeling well?" Georgianna asked, placing her hand on Elizabeth's arm.

"Yes, I just felt dizzy." Looking around the room at all the faces staring back at her caused her face to turn red.

Georgianna gave her a searching look before redirecting the attention away from Elizabeth onto a safer topic. After composing herself Elizabeth tried to share in the conversation, before excusing herself from the room.

"If you'll excuse me," Georgianna said to those in the room, "I must see Mrs. Collins out."

Georgianna entwined her arm in Elizabeth's before she could refuse, and was being pushed along out the door and down the stairs. "Are you sure you do not wish to rest? I could have a room prepared for you."

"No, I must be going," Elizabeth replied.

They continued their journey to the door where Elizabeth received her gloves and jacket. "I should dearly like to see you again," Georgianna said just before she left. "I do not have any engagements scheduled tomorrow afternoon. May we visit?"

Elizabeth smiled, nodding her head. "Why don't you attend me at my Uncles?"

After giving Georgianna the directions, she bade her farewell, and left the house, thankful the coach was prompt and waiting for her.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

That night the Gardiner's had a quiet evening at home, inviting Mr. Hines to dine with them. Elizabeth had noticeably cooled toward him, and he was puzzled as to the reason. After dinner he escorted Elizabeth to a couple of chairs in the corner while Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner were seated at the other end of the room.

"Mrs. Collins," he started, staring into her eyes. "I must tell you my intentions towards you before we continue further. I would like to marry you and share my life with you. I had thought you wanted the same, but now I am not so sure."

Elizabeth felt her heart drop as she looked into Mr. Hines' eyes. He was such a good man, so very different than both Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy. He seemed to embody the best of both men, and altogether have something unique about him from either.

"Mr. Hines, I must tell you something about my first marriage," she paused, trying to gather the best words. "I married Mr. Collins for purely mercenary reasons. I did not love him, not even a little. I was privy to a secret knowledge that my Father was in ill health, and since his estate was entailed to Mr. Collins, I knew that at his death my Mother and sisters and I would be thrown out of the house and become dependent on relatives, or forced into service. When Mr. Collins proposed to me I saw the means by which I could save us, and I took it with grasping hands."

Mr. Hines narrowed his eyes, then moved to place his hand atop hers, but stopped. "I do not know that I deserve such confidences, but if it eases your mind I am glad to know it. Your marriage to Mr. Collins and the reasons why are entirely your own. I see nothing mercenary in wanting to provide for your family, nor should you. I care for you, Elizabeth, and all I need to know is if you care for me in return."

Elizabeth looked down at her hands, trying to fight the tears that threatened to pool in her eyes. "I do not know...I...I feel like I could. I just need more time."

Mr. Hines cleared his throat, "I have business that calls me away from town for a week or two, after the New Year. I know you plan to return to Hertfordshire at that time as well. If I came to Longbourn after my business has concluded, do you think you would know your mind better?"

Nodding her head, Elizabeth said, "Yes, I think so."

"There," Mr. Hines sat straighter, "it is settled then. Until then I shall be the luckiest man in London to escort you to the fine dinners and soirees."

Elizabeth laughed at his exuberance, and looking toward her Aunt and Uncle saw they too were smiling at her. But what she kept within herself was a small hope that somehow Mr. Darcy would come to her, and offer for her, but there was a small part of her that questioned whether she could accept a man who was complicit in the most sinful part of her life, inadvertently becoming a daily reminder of her shameful past.

s-S-s

Miss Darcy called on the Gardiner's house directly at noon. She was pleased to meet Elizabeth's Aunt and her brood of children. Georgianna spoke of her own baby niece who, despite having a shaky start in life, was doing well. Conversation turned to Miss Darcy's season, which she was all too willing to share. At the end of their meeting Georgianna begged Elizabeth if she would call on her tomorrow morning so that they might take a walk together.

"I must confess, Miss Darcy," Elizabeth started as she was seeing Georgianna out the door, "I do not know why you choose me, a widow of no consequence, as a companion."

"Do you not?" She asked, a twinkle in her eye. "My brother has always spoken highly of you, and he never lies."

With those parting words Georgianna walked down the steps to the waiting carriage and drove off.

The next morning Elizabeth arrived at Darcy House and was led into a waiting room and told Miss Darcy would be down momentarily. Elizabeth seated herself on a plush chair and was looking about the room when the doors suddenly opened. Turning her head, Elizabeth could see Mr. Darcy standing in the doorway, staring at her.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth rose from her chair and curtsied.

After closing the door behind him, Darcy strode across the room to where Elizabeth stood and took her hands in his. "My dear," he whispered, gazing into her eyes, his own lit with a deep fire. "I am sorry for this little subterfuge, but I had to see you."

"Pardon?" Elizabeth asked.

"I asked my sister to invite you here so that we could talk."

Elizabeth looked about the room, afraid a servant would see them together.

"Do not worry, my love, I merely wish to talk." He sat, pulling Elizabeth down next to him on the sofa.

"I am sorry about your wife," Elizabeth started.

"I was sad to see her go. She was so full of life, but towards the end she knew I did not love her and suspected I loved another. Her last words to me were 'forgive me,' and then she was gone."

"I understand her and Miss Darcy were close friends?"

Darcy nodded his head, "Yes, in a manner of speaking."

There was small pause where Darcy did nothing but look at Elizabeth, keeping her hands firmly in her own.

"Elizabeth, I still care for you...I still love you."

There was hope in his eyes, a shining light that seemed to warm Elizabeth, but her shame clouded over, and she took her hands out of his grasp. "Mr. Darcy, I do not-"

"Are you...that man you were with at the Opera, is he more than a friend?"

"Mr. Hines is a newer acquaintance of mine who has expressed an interest in courting me."

"And do you reciprocate his feelings?" He asked tensely.

"I do not know," Elizabeth fell into herself. "I must go." She rose from her seat and made to leave but Darcy followed her.

"Please, Elizabeth, we are given a chance here to make things right. My daughter needs a Mother and your son needs a Father. Marry me."

Elizabeth stopped as she reached the door and turned around. Had they indeed been given a second chance? Would Providence so cruelly take the lives of two people, so that they, sinners of the worst kind, could be together? Or was this a test? A chance to forsake their natures and pay penance for their sins?

"Please, let me go." Elizabeth begged, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Darcy's eyes widened at her double meaning. Not only to let her leave the house, but to let her go from his heart.

In his stunned silence Elizabeth left the house, hailing a cab to take her home, sobbing the entire ride.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

The Holidays, usually a time of joy, was a time of despair for Elizabeth. Mrs. Gardiner had tried to get Elizabeth to tell her what was bothering her, but she refused. In the end Elizabeth left London with her son, earlier than planned, leaving no note for Mr. Hines.

"There is Young Master Will!" Declared Mrs. Bennet as he burst into the front parlor at Longbourn.

Little Will, in his babbling way, told his Grandmother and Aunts all that had happened while he was in London; meeting his cousins, going to parks, lighting the tree on Christmas Morning. After refreshing herself from the grime of her journey, Elizabeth joined her family and told them of the dinners and parties she had attended. Mrs. Bennet desired to know about Mr. Hines, but Elizabeth's answers were short. She kept his proposal to herself, desiring the time to reflect on her own emotions and whether she should marry a man she had not yet come to love, but whom she was confident love could grow.

Bitter cold winds swarmed Longbourn for the next few days keeping its inhabitants indoors at all time. Lydia had a cold and kept to her room, while the other ladies of the house spent most of the time in the sitting room with a warm fire blazing, doing either needle work or listening to each other read. Elizabeth had spent this time in quiet reflection, mentally listing the pros and cons of a marriage to Mr. Hines but every time she tried to bring his image to mind, Mr. Darcy's face loomed.

There was yet a small smoldering ember that was her love for Mr. Darcy, deep within her heart. She felt sure given the proper fuel it would blaze to life, more so than before. But should that flame consume her. That inferno had already branded her an adulteress, something she had grown to be very ashamed about. Could it this time finish her? Oh, how her heart heaved within her chest whenever she thought of him. Could it be possible that their love could grow untainted from their past?

Mr. Darcy had said they had been given a second chance at their love. Had she also been given a second chance with Mr. Hines? Was this God's way of testing her mettle? She had vowed to never share relations with Mr. Darcy again, and she had kept true to that vow. Would she be breaking it if she were to marry him? And what of Mr. Hines? What would he think of her should she drop him in favor of Mr. Darcy, a man five times his consequence?

"Well," Elizabeth thought, mentally shaking herself, "it doesn't signify whether I still love Mr. Darcy or not. I have already given him my answer."

With that settled, she was determined to accept Mr. Hines when he came to Hertfordshire and ask for her hand. That night she spent crying into her pillowcase.

s-S-s

Mrs. Bennet had had enough of being cooped up within the confines of Longbourn, Lydia's sniffling finally driving her out of the house. She had taken Kitty with her to Lucas Lodge to call on the Lucas', leaving Mary and Elizabeth to help care for Lydia, who, although her nose was red, and she still coughed, showed great improvement in her health.

The house was quiet, Little Will taking his nap above stairs, Mary and Elizabeth quietly sewing, while Lydia sipped tea, a heavy shawl over her shoulders, staring out the window.

"There is a man come," Lydia said in a nasally voice, turning to her sisters.

"It must be Mr. Hines," Elizabeth informed them. "Mary, he will wish to have a private conference with me. I shall take him to the parlor. Will you please come in in ten minutes time?"

Mary looked at the clock, then nodded her head. Elizabeth stood, brushed the wrinkles from her dress, and walked out to greet Mr. Hines, her future husband. As she was crossing the foyer she told Mrs. Hill to lead her guest to the parlor, then she continued on her way.

The fire in the grate had gone out and Elizabeth bent to stir up the coals and add another log to the fire. She had just finished her task when Hill entered the room and announced, "Mr. Darcy, mum."

Elizabeth stood erect, turning to Mr. Darcy, her eyes going wide with surprise. "Mr. Darcy!"

Hill had left the room leaving the door slightly ajar. Darcy entered the room, closing the distance between himself and Elizabeth in two long strides. "Elizabeth, I came because I had to try one last chance. Please, allow me to speak."

Elizabeth nodded her head, then Darcy led her to the seat next to the fire.

"Let me start by saying I do not regret ever loving you. I am sorry I did not come to that realization earlier, in fact I had tried to talk myself out of admiring you all the time I spent at Netherfield. When I saw that you cared for me as well I took whatever scraps of your love I could get, even if it meant ruining your marriage, and even your sensibilities. I regret the shameful way in which I have treated you and ask your forgiveness."

Elizabeth could not speak, could only see the pleading in his eyes and feel the warmth and pressure of his hands on her own.

Darcy continued, "I had thought to take you away from your life and steal away with you, but now I see that I would have been wrong. When I saw that you were resolute in refusing any more of my attentions I had vowed to save myself for you. I knew I could never love another woman as much as I did you and resolved to stay single until such a time as we could be together again. A cruel twist of fate prevented me from keeping that promise, but when I married I took your words to heart and tried to nourish my marriage. Felicia knew I did not love her but I tried to be a good husband to her. When I heard that your husband had died I felt as if I had died as well. I am ashamed to say when Felicia passed I felt as if I had been freed. It was my plan to go to Rosings next Spring and ask Miss de Bourgh to invite you to Rosings as well where we could begin anew, the way it was meant to be, but when I saw you in London I knew I could wait no longer."

"You were going to woo me at Rosings?" Elizabeth asked.

Darcy smiled, "Yes, that was my plan."

Elizabeth laughed, "Instead you used your sister to lure me to you."

"Yes," Darcy laughed as well, "Georgianna knew I cared for you, and she was more than willing to participate in any endeavor if it meant our eventual marriage. She may be young, but she was not blind to my loveless marriage with Felicia. She had higher hopes for us."

Elizabeth was about to say something when the door opened and Mary walked in, looking expectantly at Elizabeth, then surprise at Mr. Darcy.

"Excuse me, Elizabeth, you are needed..." Mary trailed off, unable to come up with any excuse.

"I shall be there directly," Elizabeth said, waiting for Mary to leave before turning back to Mr. Darcy. "Mr. Darcy, my youngest sister is sick and needs my attention." She rose from her seat, Darcy following her.

"Elizabeth," he whispered, gently placing his hand on her arm, "please, consider my proposal."

Laughing, Elizabeth looked up at him, "Why Mr. Darcy, is that what that was?"

Darcy looked down, smiling, "Yes, Mrs. Collins, in a round about way."

"Well, in that case, my answer is yes."

Darcy's head shot up, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Yes?"

"Yes, Mr. Darcy, I shall marry you, now I must go see to my sister."

Elizabeth left the room, feeling as though she were floating on air, feeling as though the world could end at that moment and she would be satisfied.

s-S-s

Mrs. Bennet, upon hearing the news of her daughter's betrothal to Mr. Darcy was at once shocked into silence.

"But I thought you did not like him." Lydia had said, voicing her Mother's thoughts.

"No," Elizabeth assured, "I confess our first meeting was disastrous, but upon a better acquaintance we had both grown to care for the other."

Without giving too much away she spoke of their meetings at Rosings and how a friendship had grown during their walks. Then, when they both met in London, unattached, they were free to declare their love for the other.

"What of Mr. Hines?" Mrs. Bennet demanded, looking out the window as if to see the man himself. "Is he not to call on you soon?"

Elizabeth looked sheepish, "Yes, he said he would, but last I saw him in London I gave him no firm answer to a courtship. I do not think his heart would break were he to learn of my betrothal."

"Well," Mrs. Bennet declared, as if it were all settled, "I suppose that is that." She took up her needlework she had let slip, and as she worked on her piece she said, "Ten thousand a year. My, my, Lizzy, you certainly are fortunate in your marriages."

Elizabeth pursed her lips and gave no reply. Mrs. Bennet had the pretense to stay at Longbourn for a short duration before she announced she was expected at her sister's and asked if Lydia and Kitty would care to accompany her. Elizabeth was not fooled, she knew her Mother was itching to spread the news far and wide of her betrothal.

Mr. Darcy remained in Meryton for a short duration, allowing the neighborhood to get a glimpse of him and Elizabeth together. He returned to London to be with his sister, Elizabeth staying behind to prepare for their wedding. Mrs. Bennet had wanted Elizabeth to be married in London with a special license, but Elizabeth was firm in his desire to be married from Longbourn. This time as she walked the path from her home to the chapel she would be marrying a man she loved.

And so, one Spring Morning, Mrs. Collins was married to Mr. Darcy, who once he beheld his bride enter the building the warmest smile spread across his face, a site that had been talked of for weeks. Once the couple were married Little Will came running to his Mother, and looking up at Mr. Darcy asked, "Are you my Papa now?"

Taking the boy into his arms he declared, "Yes, I am your Papa now."

Elizabeth's eyes pooled with tears as her husband embraced her child. A small mewing could be heard next to her and she turned to see Georgiana bearing Darcy's little girl in her arms, her eyes wide, staring up at Elizabeth. "I suppose I am your Mama," she said, placing her finger within the babes little grasp.

The marriage of Mr. Darcy to Mrs. Darcy was talked about often over the next few months, no one quite remembering seeing a couple more in love than those two, and how happy they looked as a family. It was said Mr. Darcy kept his bride's hand within his own during the entire morning, often gazing at her in wonder. Mrs. Darcy would blush prettily, gravitating to her husband like a moth to candle flame. It was agreed, by all, that their marriage was an affair of the heart.

The End


End file.
